The lavish part is in the past for you.
1) You bought a house in a fancy neighborhood in the city. You didn't rent, you didn't go out of the city, you didn't choose a less fancy neighborhood, you didn't go to a cheaper city. That, my friend, is lavish.
2) You and your wife both racked up ~$100k in student debt. The average student debt at graduation is ~$30k per person. So, you both spent at least triple the amount that most other people do. That is lavish AND extravagant. My wife and I are in the $10k/month post tax income range. We both went to colleges (undergrad and graduate) that weren't expensive and graduated with little debt (well under the average student debt even including graduate school). It can be done easily without needing $100k in student loans.
3) You went out and bought two nice new cars. That is lavish by any measure. And you didn't get cheap new cars that most people get when they owe $100k in student loans, you got nice new cars. A new Honda Civic is under $20k and would do you quite well so would many other entry level cars. Heck, I just recently got a new Camry for $25k (with leather seats). $30k is the upper standard car / lower premium car territory (with some bargaining it can get you a new Acura, Infiniti, Lincoln, BMW, etc. on the lower end of their offerings). Many people can never afford that level of car, and those who do often have to wait until their student loans are paid off and/or kids are out of school.
So, given your lavish past decisions, you are legitimately feeling like $10k is not much.
Luckilly for you the student loans will be done in a few years. The car loans and daycare too. When your car payments are over, save the $800/month you are paying on your cars for a few years. Then pay cash for your next cars (you have the income to be able to do this). Soon you'll be left with this:
$1600 mortgage,
$400 utilities (I made it less lavish),
$500 property tax / insurance,
$250 gas (I made it less lavish),
$200 car insurance,
$1000 food and eating out (gotta let you keep having a good time)
$500 on children,
$500 on misc.
That is under $5k and you are still living in a nice home in the city, with good cars, and get to go out frequently. And by then, hopefully you'll have a few raises and be in the $13k/month income range.
Its all balance my friend. I've done the diy soylent and it sucks. Maybe I suck but it sucks. I prefer the commercial product. I use soylent for healthy meals and breakfast (I never make breakfast. I would just skip the meal.) 
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