Originally posted by: bozack
Originally posted by: AlienCraft People who would live together go into it with 2 strikes against them. The assumption is that the pairing won't work. Thus they do not truly commit.
People who get married first are taking the risk at face value..... "Join together until death do us part".
We've already been thru this. Living together before marriage is a bad idea. Studies show it, counselors agree and so does any relationship professional. This is a lesson you should learn now while you're young instead of making it later in your life where you live with a girl, wind up marrying and then divorcing.
Neither of these statements are entirely correct and to some degree they are taken out of context....studies have shown that a majority of couples who lived together for two years or less are more prone to divorce than those who have never lived together at all....however couples that have lived together for two years or more are less likely to divorce than either couples living for less than two years or never at all....then there is the factor that one has to question the moral/relgious background of those who do not live together before marriage, generally they are from a background/belief that frowns upon divorce and they are more likely to stick it out rather than add to the statistic...sure there is the "renters" agreement on marriage, where people who live together and get married don't go though the same change in lifestyle as a couple who never lived together before, and they just bail instead of trying to work it out, but remember that really only applies to couples with two or less years together, over two the percentage drastically decreases.
With re. marriage/divorce today, I think many see it as an easy way out...for example I knew a friend of my wife's who dated a guy in college, she went to a nice school he didn't bother, all she did was complain about him...how he did drugs without her there and that was selfish, how he had a small penis and didn't please her in bed...so she ends up dumping him and going out with a guy who supposedly is John Holmes in the bedroom...he ends up cheating on her with his cousin, she goes back to small penis guy...she gets pregnant supposedly by accident but we think on purpose, they get a shotgun wedding, married two years and then she decides to pork her boss because the small penis guy doesn't have enough ambition for her and well has a small penis...he finds out she is banging the boss and then she decides to get a divorce...they are springer material but I know so many couples that go though a similar situation that it isn't even funny....
I still think they should totally seperate benefits and such from marriage, have it so you can live together and share benefits, then I think we would see only couples who want to get married actually get married....
My parents stayed together for the kids and it was awful, not only did they fight all the time but also when they did get divorced (when I was 21) it was IMHO harder than if my mother would have done it earlier, now my father has screwed her out of any money, she is broke and there isn't much I can do to help as I have bills of my own....if she had done it sooner then she could have still worked and saved money instead of turning it over to my deadbeat dad....
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