Why Facebook isn't for adults...

[Turin39789]

so your friends and aquaintences are lame?

 

[judasmachine]

It would be cool if everyone was honest, but perhaps facebok isn't the place to whine about the emo parts of your life. Everyone has BS in their life, but it doesn't mean you should put it on a bill board on the interstate.

Just talk to them like a human being and the truth will come out in conversation. Just don't do it on their wall, keep that crap in the PM.

 

[Blieb]

Does it have something to do with the area? Type of school you went to?

My friends never say shit about being blessed. Most just post pictures of the family ...

 

[Blieb]

Oh, and I think "cinnamon-bun-smelling assholes" is the line of the day.

 

[Blieb]

and the visual ...

http://www.thebestpageintheuni...e.net/images/toot1.gif

 

[alkemyst]

I have found if you had no friends as a kid, these sites aren't going to change anything.

Also if you haven't let go of teenage crap then you truly aren't an adult. As teens we fought, screwed other dudes chicks, etc...we were KIDS.

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: judasmachine
It would be cool if everyone was honest, but perhaps facebok isn't the place to whine about the emo parts of your life. Everyone has BS in their life, but it doesn't mean you should put it on a bill board on the interstate.

Just talk to them like a human being and the truth will come out in conversation. Just don't do it on their wall, keep that crap in the PM.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to hear the worst parts of their lives. What bothers me is how artfully crafted every single word is. It's like everything is architected with a very specific purpose: to convince people you've succeeded in life. The quotes I've posted aren't distortions or exaggerations: they are word for word, and consistent with the overall message of the page from which they were taken.

I thought Facebook was just a place to shoot the shit and catch up with people you don't get to see frequently. The irony in it all is that the more someone tries to put on a show, the less believable it is. If you're constantly rambling about how perfect your life is and how your dog never shits in the house, I'm not very likely to believe it.

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I have found if you had no friends as a kid, these sites aren't going to change anything.

Also if you haven't let go of teenage crap then you truly aren't an adult. As teens we fought, screwed other dudes chicks, etc...we were KIDS.

I don't see that at all, so it's not really what I'm talking about. There's zero evidence of grudges or ill will over ten year old shens. I'm just talking about the "act".

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: jbourne77
Terrible analogy. C-

First of all, chances are that the person who asked you doesn't even WANT the truth. They're just being polite, and they want you to be polite in turn by not wasting the next 10 minutes of their time by giving them a play by play of your day thus far.

Similarly, they're not an old acquaintance with whom you have some sort of history with. There's no expectation or desire for being genuine - by either one of you - and no motivation to paint a Rembrandt picture for them when they ask "how are you."

You use words like "chances" and attempt to tell me that I'm totally incorrect? Sorry, but even by your own remarks, both situations exist and you also cannot ignore that there are some that do not wish to air their dirty laundry or shortcomings out in the open. Also, who said I disagreed that some people like to stroke the e-peen? We see it on here all the time for Pete's sake!

PS. You can't really have an analogy without a comparison. I simply asked a question and you assumed the rest, but think whatever you will.

 

[judasmachine]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I have found if you had no friends as a kid, these sites aren't going to change anything.

Also if you haven't let go of teenage crap then you truly aren't an adult. As teens we fought, screwed other dudes chicks, etc...we were KIDS.

I just added a friend who back in the day we fought over the woman he is married to. We didn't actually fight, more competed. I won then, he won in the long run. We're adults now and it's all good.

 

[judasmachine]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: judasmachine
It would be cool if everyone was honest, but perhaps facebok isn't the place to whine about the emo parts of your life. Everyone has BS in their life, but it doesn't mean you should put it on a bill board on the interstate.

Just talk to them like a human being and the truth will come out in conversation. Just don't do it on their wall, keep that crap in the PM.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to hear the worst parts of their lives. What bothers me is how artfully crafted every single word is. It's like everything is architected with a very specific purpose: to convince people you've succeeded in life. The quotes I've posted aren't distortions or exaggerations: they are word for word, and consistent with the overall message of the page from which they were taken.

I thought Facebook was just a place to shoot the shit and catch up with people you don't get to see frequently. The irony in it all is that the more someone tries to put on a show, the less believable it is. If you're constantly rambling about how perfect your life is and how your dog never shits in the house, I'm not very likely to believe it.

Then I would call them Dbags and move on. 😛

 

[Gunbuster]

You seem pretty invested in thinking about what your old high school friends might be thinking you are thinking about them.

I will ask once again: Do you have any current friends on facebook?

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: Aikouka

Originally posted by: jbourne77
Terrible analogy. C-

First of all, chances are that the person who asked you doesn't even WANT the truth. They're just being polite, and they want you to be polite in turn by not wasting the next 10 minutes of their time by giving them a play by play of your day thus far.

Similarly, they're not an old acquaintance with whom you have some sort of history with. There's no expectation or desire for being genuine - by either one of you - and no motivation to paint a Rembrandt picture for them when they ask "how are you."

You use words like "chances" and attempt to tell me that I'm totally incorrect? Sorry, but even by your own remarks, both situations exist and you also cannot ignore that there are some that do not wish to air their dirty laundry or shortcomings out in the open. Also, who said I disagreed that some people like to stroke the e-peen? We see it on here all the time for Pete's sake!

PS. You can't really have an analogy without a comparison. I simply asked a question and you assumed the rest, but think whatever you will.

Sorry, didn't mean to ruin your day by saying "terrible analogy" (which I believe it was). I didn't say "totally wrong", either... just implying "not applicable".

 

[irishScott]

You seem to have a pretty insecure peer group. Just looked at my "friend's status updates" tab and for potentially negative stuff I've got:

"loathing this week's workload..."
"reallly needs it to be spring break. i also really need to graduate."
"really?? is this really necessary?"
"i cant sleep."
"still up at 3:23 am ... WTFuck?!!"
"shouldn't have done that."


Among other things. Good amount of honest positive ones too. I myself have posted similar stuff from time to time. Then again, I'm in college. Maybe that's the difference.

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: Gunbuster
You seem pretty invested in thinking about what your old high school friends might be thinking you are thinking about them.

I never said I thought this stuff was directed at me. It appears to all be directed at everyone and no one specifically. The most glaring example is one acquaintance who has over 300 friends, a fraction of which are from the past... yet all of the content on his page is geared toward touting his triumphs to those "out of the loop". To me, that says he has something to prove.

My problem, which I thought was clear, is that this desire to "prove one's self" is getting in the way of actually making genuine contact with old acquaintances.

Originally posted by: Gunbuster
I will ask once again: Do you have any current friends on facebook?

And I will answer once again:

Originally posted by: jbourne77
Interactions on Facebook with current friends don't suffer from this lack of genuineness, but is it really that surprising?

For the uninitiated, this means 'yes'. It also answers what may have been your follow-up question: I do find usefulness in the site and current friendships don't "behave" in the same manner on Facebook. This is why I stated "First and foremost, I want to state that I am in no way implying that this applies to everyone who uses Facebook."

Anyway...

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: jbourne77
Sorry, didn't mean to ruin your day by saying "terrible analogy" (which I believe it was). I didn't say "totally wrong", either... just implying "not applicable".

Don't humble yourself thinking you ruined my day... it was ruined long before your post 😛

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: judasmachine
It would be cool if everyone was honest, but perhaps facebok isn't the place to whine about the emo parts of your life. Everyone has BS in their life, but it doesn't mean you should put it on a bill board on the interstate.

Just talk to them like a human being and the truth will come out in conversation. Just don't do it on their wall, keep that crap in the PM.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to hear the worst parts of their lives. What bothers me is how artfully crafted every single word is. It's like everything is architected with a very specific purpose: to convince people you've succeeded in life. The quotes I've posted aren't distortions or exaggerations: they are word for word, and consistent with the overall message of the page from which they were taken.

I thought Facebook was just a place to shoot the shit and catch up with people you don't get to see frequently. The irony in it all is that the more someone tries to put on a show, the less believable it is. If you're constantly rambling about how perfect your life is and how your dog never shits in the house, I'm not very likely to believe it.

People are just smart enough to rely on the stupidity of others. Most people take what they see at face value, and move on.

 

[MrMatt]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: MrMatt

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: MrMatt
what an informative post. Thanks for your contribution to the anandtech off-topic forum

Likewise. I look forward to your next 60 posts over the next 7 days.

indeed, I look forward to your next 30 posts in 7 days. Huzzah to you good sir

Here's another reply to you, so you can reply in turn. You want to get that post count up, and I'm here to help!

ATOT: Helping each other for each other

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: judasmachine
It would be cool if everyone was honest, but perhaps facebok isn't the place to whine about the emo parts of your life. Everyone has BS in their life, but it doesn't mean you should put it on a bill board on the interstate.

Just talk to them like a human being and the truth will come out in conversation. Just don't do it on their wall, keep that crap in the PM.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to hear the worst parts of their lives. What bothers me is how artfully crafted every single word is. It's like everything is architected with a very specific purpose: to convince people you've succeeded in life. The quotes I've posted aren't distortions or exaggerations: they are word for word, and consistent with the overall message of the page from which they were taken.

I thought Facebook was just a place to shoot the shit and catch up with people you don't get to see frequently. The irony in it all is that the more someone tries to put on a show, the less believable it is. If you're constantly rambling about how perfect your life is and how your dog never shits in the house, I'm not very likely to believe it.

If people would just stop friending acquaintances as opposed to real friends then this wouldn't pose a problem. Any front you put on would easily be recognized. I know it's used to catch up with old friends separated by distance/time too - and that's the whole reason for any facade. If you actually contact them via mail, they will spill their guts for the most part. Nobody is going to put that on their wall. The main purpose of the site is to share pics/videos (which btw, don't lie), and what they're up to in my opinion. If you want to really know how someone's life has unfolded, you use their inbox. Also keep in mind the less interesting (in terms of things going on) people usually don't even update their facebook - which is probably why you never see the equalizers. Just enjoy the updates from people as if you talk to them everyday - that's all it's for.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: judasmachine
It would be cool if everyone was honest, but perhaps facebok isn't the place to whine about the emo parts of your life. Everyone has BS in their life, but it doesn't mean you should put it on a bill board on the interstate.

Just talk to them like a human being and the truth will come out in conversation. Just don't do it on their wall, keep that crap in the PM.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to hear the worst parts of their lives. What bothers me is how artfully crafted every single word is. It's like everything is architected with a very specific purpose: to convince people you've succeeded in life. The quotes I've posted aren't distortions or exaggerations: they are word for word, and consistent with the overall message of the page from which they were taken.

I thought Facebook was just a place to shoot the shit and catch up with people you don't get to see frequently. The irony in it all is that the more someone tries to put on a show, the less believable it is. If you're constantly rambling about how perfect your life is and how your dog never shits in the house, I'm not very likely to believe it.

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I have found if you had no friends as a kid, these sites aren't going to change anything.

Also if you haven't let go of teenage crap then you truly aren't an adult. As teens we fought, screwed other dudes chicks, etc...we were KIDS.

I don't see that at all, so it's not really what I'm talking about. There's zero evidence of grudges or ill will over ten year old shens. I'm just talking about the "act".

How do you know these guys that picked on you as a kid didn't succeed? Usually the guys many call pricks are the ones someone else has to report to everyday, is drilling the Prom Queen and has that 7000 sq ft home, boat and stable of cars.

They still want to go back and re-live their childhood. Most of marketing and movies are sort of about that big draw and why collectables esp comic and card collections are so in demand.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: judasmachine
It would be cool if everyone was honest, but perhaps facebok isn't the place to whine about the emo parts of your life. Everyone has BS in their life, but it doesn't mean you should put it on a bill board on the interstate.

Just talk to them like a human being and the truth will come out in conversation. Just don't do it on their wall, keep that crap in the PM.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to hear the worst parts of their lives. What bothers me is how artfully crafted every single word is. It's like everything is architected with a very specific purpose: to convince people you've succeeded in life. The quotes I've posted aren't distortions or exaggerations: they are word for word, and consistent with the overall message of the page from which they were taken.

I thought Facebook was just a place to shoot the shit and catch up with people you don't get to see frequently. The irony in it all is that the more someone tries to put on a show, the less believable it is. If you're constantly rambling about how perfect your life is and how your dog never shits in the house, I'm not very likely to believe it.

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I have found if you had no friends as a kid, these sites aren't going to change anything.

Also if you haven't let go of teenage crap then you truly aren't an adult. As teens we fought, screwed other dudes chicks, etc...we were KIDS.

I don't see that at all, so it's not really what I'm talking about. There's zero evidence of grudges or ill will over ten year old shens. I'm just talking about the "act".

How do you know these guys that picked on you as a kid didn't succeed? Usually the guys many call pricks are the ones someone else has to report to everyday, is drilling the Prom Queen and has that 7000 sq ft home, boat and stable of cars.

They still want to go back and re-live their childhood. Most of marketing and movies are sort of about that big draw and why collectables esp comic and card collections are so in demand.

My experience so far has been that the hot shots in high school were only that. They peaked in High school.

 

[skim milk]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: judasmachine
It would be cool if everyone was honest, but perhaps facebok isn't the place to whine about the emo parts of your life. Everyone has BS in their life, but it doesn't mean you should put it on a bill board on the interstate.

Just talk to them like a human being and the truth will come out in conversation. Just don't do it on their wall, keep that crap in the PM.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to hear the worst parts of their lives. What bothers me is how artfully crafted every single word is. It's like everything is architected with a very specific purpose: to convince people you've succeeded in life. The quotes I've posted aren't distortions or exaggerations: they are word for word, and consistent with the overall message of the page from which they were taken.

I thought Facebook was just a place to shoot the shit and catch up with people you don't get to see frequently. The irony in it all is that the more someone tries to put on a show, the less believable it is. If you're constantly rambling about how perfect your life is and how your dog never shits in the house, I'm not very likely to believe it.

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I have found if you had no friends as a kid, these sites aren't going to change anything.

Also if you haven't let go of teenage crap then you truly aren't an adult. As teens we fought, screwed other dudes chicks, etc...we were KIDS.

I don't see that at all, so it's not really what I'm talking about. There's zero evidence of grudges or ill will over ten year old shens. I'm just talking about the "act".

How do you know these guys that picked on you as a kid didn't succeed? Usually the guys many call pricks are the ones someone else has to report to everyday, is drilling the Prom Queen and has that 7000 sq ft home, boat and stable of cars.

They still want to go back and re-live their childhood. Most of marketing and movies are sort of about that big draw and why collectables esp comic and card collections are so in demand.

My experience so far has been that the hot shots in high school were only that. They peaked in High school.

it's usually the mysterious, quiet loner in high school who becomes top of the food chain

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: judasmachine
It would be cool if everyone was honest, but perhaps facebok isn't the place to whine about the emo parts of your life. Everyone has BS in their life, but it doesn't mean you should put it on a bill board on the interstate.

Just talk to them like a human being and the truth will come out in conversation. Just don't do it on their wall, keep that crap in the PM.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to hear the worst parts of their lives. What bothers me is how artfully crafted every single word is. It's like everything is architected with a very specific purpose: to convince people you've succeeded in life. The quotes I've posted aren't distortions or exaggerations: they are word for word, and consistent with the overall message of the page from which they were taken.

I thought Facebook was just a place to shoot the shit and catch up with people you don't get to see frequently. The irony in it all is that the more someone tries to put on a show, the less believable it is. If you're constantly rambling about how perfect your life is and how your dog never shits in the house, I'm not very likely to believe it.

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I have found if you had no friends as a kid, these sites aren't going to change anything.

Also if you haven't let go of teenage crap then you truly aren't an adult. As teens we fought, screwed other dudes chicks, etc...we were KIDS.

I don't see that at all, so it's not really what I'm talking about. There's zero evidence of grudges or ill will over ten year old shens. I'm just talking about the "act".

How do you know these guys that picked on you as a kid didn't succeed? Usually the guys many call pricks are the ones someone else has to report to everyday, is drilling the Prom Queen and has that 7000 sq ft home, boat and stable of cars.

They still want to go back and re-live their childhood. Most of marketing and movies are sort of about that big draw and why collectables esp comic and card collections are so in demand.

My experience so far has been that the hot shots in high school were only that. They peaked in High school.

I was going to reply with this, but figured it would just be construed as some sort of jealousy or disdain, so I refrained. Regardless, my observations coincide with yours. There are only a few guys/girls I considered jerks/wenches, and they're not faring so well. I know this not through Facebook, but through chance encounters locally.

The people I'm talking about are - I'm sure - doing relatively well for themselves. But in their effort to show everyone how well their doing (and exaggerate it in some cases), they make it impossible to get down to brass tacks and have a real conversation.

There seems to be less exaggeration about material possessions and more exaggeration about overall happiness. Trying to put my finger on why it's come off that way, though...

[edit]

A lot of the superfluous garbage on the pages I'm talking about is of the "I'm so happy, my husband/wife/kids is/are perfect, my career is so wonderful, blah blah blah" variety. It's not typically "I own 5 Ferraris and a 7000 square foot home, have 4 degrees, and am banging a 10 year old prom queen."

I think it's interesting because there seems to be more effort going into convincing people (perhaps themselves even) that they're happy, not necessarily wealthy.

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

You mad brah?

 

[adlep]

Don't talk about Facebook.

 

[meltdown75]

i'd like to rejoin and rebuild my friend list. there are a bunch of highschool friends / acquaintances that I don't really care about but they got added during the facebook craze.

i probably won't though.

what i do now is... when someone's birthday comes up... if it is someone that i don't really talk to or see on a regular basis, I just delete them from my list. Happy Birthday, GTF off my friend list.

it's the great facebook friend list cull of 2009. i have 292 people on there. i'd like to get it down to 100 or so if possible.

people that never update or post anything bug me. so do people that post / update too much. they will also be deleted.

all i do on there is play poker anyway.