I'm running into the same problems. I've all but given up on net play until the next patch. Until then, I fark around flying the helis and planes on my own empty server. If I'm feeling fiesty, I'll hand a plate of B1TCH to a few bots in singleplayer.
I love this game, but the bugs are driving me insane. Not that they're all affecting me, but just the fact that there's so much general frustration surrounding the game. You have lockups, crashes, lag-infested net play, sound bugs, no official 1280x1024, LAME server browser, the list goes on.
I really hope this upcoming patch solves this stuff... a game like this is just too good to be marred by such inadequacies.