Why do some people just change overnight out of no where?

[ValkyrieofHouston]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
This is just a question, not a YAMGT. As you all know i dated a girl for 3 years, and she went overseas for 5 months. She just came back and was like "I don't know if I can be friends, all I could think about while i was gone was if you were hooking up with other people, etc."

Then she says she's over me?

I'm not over her, but i won't ever be... and I still want to be her friend, and I don't want to be weird... I want to be like we used to be, except there would be awkwardness and such, but we could just laugh that off.

Why does she have to make things so difficult? If she's "over me", why can't she be my friend?

I don't get it.

/rant

EDIT:

Of course... well shes been gone for five months, but we haven't been "more than friends" for about four weeks.

And she hasn't found other interests. I could post the conversation. It is literally her entirely different as a person, not responding to anything I say, being VERY distant, and saying she is over me, then saying she isn't, then saying she "isn't as strong as me in being my friend", and that "more time won't help the situation".

I've been friends with all of my ex girlfriends.... and its usually fairly easy.

If I didn't know better, it sounds to me like she has found somebody else and she is not being straight with you about it. Thats just my 02.

 

[Kaieye]

I went overseas almost twenty years ago by myself and I came back a changed person. I really grew up fast and found out that the world does not revolve around America. I matured a lot faster and grew up being a lot less shy towards the opposite sex plus I was a lot more tolerable towards others.

Don't worry - the odds are you will fine someone soon to make yourself and the other happy.

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak

Originally posted by: purbeast0
people don't change overnight. she was just changing for a while and didn't let you know. maybe it was because she was unsure of what she wanted for some time, then finally realized that she needed to tell you.

when I broke up w/my EX, i had been with her for 5 years on with a little break mid-way in there. Towards the last months or so of our relationship, I just wasn't feeling the relationship and her, and I started to want to see other people or whatever. But I didn't tell her "umm my feelings are starting to change, I'll keep you posted."

When I finally got the balls to do so, and the time was right, I told her straight up how I felt and I'm sure to her, it seemed like "out of no where", but in reality, I had been feeling this way and building up these feelings for a few months.

Yeah, she told me this was the case... she started feeling it last September and let it build up and then told me in December how she felt. But she hadn't changed attitudes... so she was acting? I don't get it. Whatever. I know I can do better.

In all honesty, it was my first serious GF and I had never had to do something like that before, so it was hard, which is why it took me a while to do so. If I could go back, I would have been straight up with her as soon as I started feeling weird.

That's definitely the #1 thing I learned from that relationship - be straight up and always communicate about how you feel and problems you feel arising. that is the best part about my current relationship, my GF and I are just so straight up about stuff and open to eachother about everything.

 

[lightweight]

Jesus Christ it sounds to me like you have this huge internal struggle with the line between friends and more than friends. There is a timeline in a relationship starting with initial communication, and ending with no communication. Somewhere in there is sex, then no sex. Sounds to me like you're about near the end. Just let this girl go and move on. Don't worry about being friends with her because you're only doing it for yourself anyways.

 

[manlymatt83]

yeah

 

[SViper]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak

Originally posted by: crownjules

Originally posted by: mjuszczak


I'm not over her, but i won't ever be

Yes you will be, but trying to be friends with her makes the healing process that much harder. You should cut her out of your life for at least a few weeks. Out of sight, out of mind. Find another girl. Three years is a long time, but not unsurmountable. By the sounds of things, she doesn't want to be involved with you anymore. Sorry buddy, but that's life. Move on. There's plenty more.

OK. I don't WANT To be with her anymore. And no, she isn't over me. She admitted that in our convo, which I could post here if anyone cared to read it.

She treated me like dog crap while we were dating, but I am close to her and thought we could remain friends, especially since I'm moving to her area soon (for other reasons). That's the problem. I'm ready to be friends, she isn't, and I don't understand why.

Ok, you shouldn't put up with crap like that. If anyone treated me like crap in a relationship, it would be over in a heartbeat.

 

[Accipiter22]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH

WHY DID I CLICK THIS THREAD. EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF YOUR POSTS I THINK I'M RE-READING AN OLD ONE FROM YOU. THEY ALL SOUND THE SAME!!!!! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY HERE SO WHY BOTHER EVEN POSTING IT?!?!?!?!

 

[CraigRT]

Originally posted by: astrosfan90
You wanna talk overnight?

I was dating a girl for nearly four years. We were engaged, had lived together for a bit, and were extremely serious. Ie, wedding plans being made.

She left town to visit a friend of hers from college for her birthday over a weekend, and the Monday night she came back we met up after work for dinner. No warning, nothing, at dinner she tells me it's over, she can't be in a relationship right now.

It's been 6 months, I've seen her all of about 5 times since then, and speak with her very rarely, all after 4 years of daily contact.

That's overnight.

Virtually same thing happened to me, cept it was only 3 years. She obviously found another guy and went with him right away. Pathetic women. Makes me sick.

 

[EmperorIQ]

Originally posted by: astrosfan90
You wanna talk overnight?

I was dating a girl for nearly four years. We were engaged, had lived together for a bit, and were extremely serious. Ie, wedding plans being made.

She left town to visit a friend of hers from college for her birthday over a weekend, and the Monday night she came back we met up after work for dinner. No warning, nothing, at dinner she tells me it's over, she can't be in a relationship right now.

It's been 6 months, I've seen her all of about 5 times since then, and speak with her very rarely, all after 4 years of daily contact.

That's overnight.

stop posting about your girl problems mjuszczak. its stories like the one quoted that deserves their own thread.

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: SViper

Originally posted by: mjuszczak

Originally posted by: crownjules

Originally posted by: mjuszczak


I'm not over her, but i won't ever be

Yes you will be, but trying to be friends with her makes the healing process that much harder. You should cut her out of your life for at least a few weeks. Out of sight, out of mind. Find another girl. Three years is a long time, but not unsurmountable. By the sounds of things, she doesn't want to be involved with you anymore. Sorry buddy, but that's life. Move on. There's plenty more.

OK. I don't WANT To be with her anymore. And no, she isn't over me. She admitted that in our convo, which I could post here if anyone cared to read it.

She treated me like dog crap while we were dating, but I am close to her and thought we could remain friends, especially since I'm moving to her area soon (for other reasons). That's the problem. I'm ready to be friends, she isn't, and I don't understand why.

Ok, you shouldn't put up with crap like that. If anyone treated me like crap in a relationship, it would be over in a heartbeat.

Well, she was my best friend, and when we were together she was fine. But I always went out of my way for her, and she never stood up for me to her parents... and thats huge.

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH

WHY DID I CLICK THIS THREAD. EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF YOUR POSTS I THINK I'M RE-READING AN OLD ONE FROM YOU. THEY ALL SOUND THE SAME!!!!! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY HERE SO WHY BOTHER EVEN POSTING IT?!?!?!?!

I do listen to advice now. Don't you understand that?

 

[Accipiter22]

you'd better....*menaces you with a sack of doorknobs*

 

[J Heartless Slick]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
This is just a question, not a YAMGT. As you all know i dated a girl for 3 years, and she went overseas for 5 months. She just came back and was like "I don't know if I can be friends, all I could think about while i was gone was if you were hooking up with other people, etc."

Then she says she's over me?

I'm not over her, but i won't ever be... and I still want to be her friend, and I don't want to be weird... I want to be like we used to be, except there would be awkwardness and such, but we could just laugh that off.

Why does she have to make things so difficult? If she's "over me", why can't she be my friend?

I don't get it.

/rant

EDIT:

Of course... well shes been gone for five months, but we haven't been "more than friends" for about four weeks.

And she hasn't found other interests. I could post the conversation. It is literally her entirely different as a person, not responding to anything I say, being VERY distant, and saying she is over me, then saying she isn't, then saying she "isn't as strong as me in being my friend", and that "more time won't help the situation".

I've been friends with all of my ex girlfriends.... and its usually fairly easy.

Look, you need to break it off with this woman. Don't call or try to see her for at least a year. Stop beating yourself up and move on.

 

[zanieladie]

Sorry to hear all of that. Best wishes!

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH

WHY DID I CLICK THIS THREAD. EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF YOUR POSTS I THINK I'M RE-READING AN OLD ONE FROM YOU. THEY ALL SOUND THE SAME!!!!! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY HERE SO WHY BOTHER EVEN POSTING IT?!?!?!?!

They all sound the same because they all are the same. It's the same problem. Over.. and over.. and over..

 

[SViper]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak

Originally posted by: SViper

Originally posted by: mjuszczak

Originally posted by: crownjules

Originally posted by: mjuszczak


I'm not over her, but i won't ever be

Yes you will be, but trying to be friends with her makes the healing process that much harder. You should cut her out of your life for at least a few weeks. Out of sight, out of mind. Find another girl. Three years is a long time, but not unsurmountable. By the sounds of things, she doesn't want to be involved with you anymore. Sorry buddy, but that's life. Move on. There's plenty more.

OK. I don't WANT To be with her anymore. And no, she isn't over me. She admitted that in our convo, which I could post here if anyone cared to read it.

She treated me like dog crap while we were dating, but I am close to her and thought we could remain friends, especially since I'm moving to her area soon (for other reasons). That's the problem. I'm ready to be friends, she isn't, and I don't understand why.

Ok, you shouldn't put up with crap like that. If anyone treated me like crap in a relationship, it would be over in a heartbeat.

Well, she was my best friend, and when we were together she was fine. But I always went out of my way for her, and she never stood up for me to her parents... and thats huge.

Yea, that's really huge. Why even subject yourself to a one-sided relationship like that? If she doesn't take up for you in a relationship with her, it shows that she doesn't care about you as much as you care about her.

A person can only give so much in a relationship without receiving anything. Believe me, I've seen that firsthand. It doesn't end well for both parties involved.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

I thought you were fat and had erectile dysfunction. WTF do these women see in you?

 

[GuitarDaddy]

These threads are starting to remind me of the series "Lost"

Did all this stuff really happen? Or just in the dreams of the delusional long haired fat guy

 

[WildHorse]

they change overnight out of no where because they drank a bunch of mouthwash like that guy in the other thread

 

[manlymatt83]

Well, this morning she told me that she has "closed up" because she feels if she's friends with me and opens back up, her feelings might come back.

My feelings never disappeared, but I still want to be just friends. What's so hard?

Anyway, I guess /thread.

And no, I don't have erectile dysfunction nor am I fat... where did you get that from?

 

[EGGO]

Who called the "less than a week until he makes another yamgt"?