No, it wasn't. I just did a cleaning of the pins.
I have superb vision (with my contacts on) and under very bright light it was very, very difficult for me to find the pins that I knew had some thermal compound on them. Took a paint brush dipped in alcohol to them and spent another several minutes under bright light trying to find any missed spots, didn't see any.
Put the system back together and booted up, still at BIOS defaults, to the same black screen with artifacting that I'd had before.
Tried a few more times to the same result. Tried again removing one of my DIMMs and... I'm posting from said PC now.
I'll give it a few more hours before I jump to any RAM conclusions, but it's certainly a suspiciously coincidental fix. Sucks too because I ran memtest86+ a few weeks ago for a good 12 hours without one error. Worse further is that these Patriot DIMMs are actually the replacement for a prior set with problems. Not sure they're gonna RMA me twice if stuff winds up being the problem.
Worst of all is that as I made the post prior to this, I ordered another 5800K from Amazon which has already shipped.