Why do I never want to go out?

[slackerinabox]

My gf has noticed that I rarely ever go out... I'm 22 - shouldn't I be going to clubs and drinking my butt off? Instead I prefer to stay home and watch dvds... I even got invited to a comedy club today and instinctually made excuses not to go .. Is this normal or should I see a shrink?

 

[TwinkleToes77]

maybe you have a social anxiety disorder?

 

[Cal166]

Its Normal.

Why go out and waste money on Clubing and Drinking? I perfer doing something else with that kind of money.

 

[dighn]

me too. i just have no desire to go out.

 

[iamme]

do you enjoy going out with just your girlfriend?

 

[Aftermath]

Considering I have a wife that loves to hang out and play Final Fantasy XI, I'd much rather be antisocial at home playing video games with her than go out and waste money to get ticked off by bad drivers, and annoyed by idiots all night.

 

[ndee]

you're that guy who goes to clubs when he's 40 and he realizes that he missed something in his 20s 😉

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: iamme
do you enjoy going out with just your girlfriend?

I LIKE going out with my gf but I wouldn't mind it at all if we just spent the day at home... I dislike going out with groups of people though.. It's not like I'm crippled with fear or something.. I just kinda drift to the back of the group and stay very quiet.. Then notice people trying to pull me into the conversations so i end up feeling like the retarded little kid of the group- know what I mean?

 

[dighn]

maybe you are just introverted? nothing wrong with that, i hope not anyway.

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: iamme
do you enjoy going out with just your girlfriend?

I LIKE going out with my gf but I wouldn't mind it at all if we just spent the day at home... I dislike going out with groups of people though.. It's not like I'm crippled with fear or something.. I just kinda drift to the back of the group and stay very quiet.. Then notice people trying to pull me into the conversations so i end up feeling like the retarded little kid of the group- know what I mean?

nothing wrong with that, imo.

not everyone is extroverted and social.

however, i don't think it's healthy to "never want to go out" (not you, but in general). i think you need a balance of solitude and social atmospheres. extremes of either aren't healthy, imo.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: iamme
do you enjoy going out with just your girlfriend?

I LIKE going out with my gf but I wouldn't mind it at all if we just spent the day at home... I dislike going out with groups of people though.. It's not like I'm crippled with fear or something.. I just kinda drift to the back of the group and stay very quiet.. Then notice people trying to pull me into the conversations so i end up feeling like the retarded little kid of the group- know what I mean?

nothing wrong with that, imo.

not everyone is extroverted and social.

however, i don't think it's healthy to "never want to go out" (not you, but in general). i think you need a balance of solitude and social atmospheres. extremes of either aren't healthy, imo.

Yeah, you're right.. I've always considered myself a bit of an introvert.. What sucks is that I feel that I tend to lose a lot of friendships because I'm somehow attracted to extroverts.. so while I'm the stay at home type my friends (other than my gf) are the go out and party type and not the quiet afternoon watching old movies sort.. so, I guess I gotta get over myself or something.. The last time I toughened up and went out a friend of mine and her best friend I ended up getting so nervous that I ended up shattering a cup (we were making sake bombs and I dropped the small cup with a bit too much force and the outter cut shattered)..maybe I should take some meds 😉

 

[SoylentGreen]

These are the times to go out and enjoy yourself. You'll have plenty of time to watch movies later in life.

 

[TheAudit]

Originally posted by: ndee
you're that guy who goes to clubs when he's 40 and he realizes that he missed something in his 20s 😉

I would tend to agree with you. When you are young is the time to be free and go out and have fun. If you don't like doing these things it is because you have never had a good time doing so. It's not wrong or abnormal but you are better off going out and partying your butt off now while you can and are able to. Eventually you will meet someone and get married and have a family and you won't have the opportunity to go out and be free.

He's the prototypical shy guy who doesn't like groups, he said it himself, he is the quiet guy in the back. Nothing wrong with that.

 

Actually no, I wouldn't say you're abnormal. I actually think it's cool when someone finds more important things in his life than clubbing and drinking. And personally, I would love any man who makes room to spend quality time at home with just the two of us.

However, I think you started with good intent but in the process programmed yourself to always say no. You have basically become lazy, as a result, or been preconditioned to say "no" (i.e., making excuses). It's easy to fix it, though: rather than promptly say "no", listen carefully to the proposal. If it isn't a clubbing or drinking proposal, I think you should say yes and resist the urge to say "no". Once you say "yes", you'll be reminded of what's out there and the fact that it's okay to go out and have fun in other settings. 😉 A comedy club sounded reasonable . . . you don't have to drink if you don't want to. If you were asked to do it on a regular basis, then saying "no" is in order. 😛

 

[kalster]

Originally posted by: luvly
Actually no, I wouldn't say you're abnormal. I actually think it's cool when someone finds more important things in his life than clubbing and drinking. And personally, I would love any man who makes room to spend quality time at home with just the two of us. However, I think you started with good intent but in the process programmed yourself to always say no. You have basically become lazy, as a result, or been preconditioned to say "no" (i.e., making excuses). It's easy to fix it, though: rather than promptly say "no", listen carefully to the proposal. If it isn't a clubbing or drinking proposal, I think you should say yes and resist the urge to say "no". Once you say "yes", you'll be reminded of what's out there and the fact that it's okay to go out and have fun in other settings. 😉 A comedy club sounded reasonable . . . you don't have to drink if you don't want to. If you were asked to do it on a regular basis, then saying "no" is in order. 😛

arent you also the person who finds it normal to act as a GUY one day and act as a GIRL the next on the intraweb


😀

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: luvly
Actually no, I wouldn't say you're abnormal. I actually think it's cool when someone finds more important things in his life than clubbing and drinking. And personally, I would love any man who makes room to spend quality time at home with just the two of us.

However, I think you started with good intent but in the process programmed yourself to always say no. You have basically become lazy, as a result, or been preconditioned to say "no" (i.e., making excuses). It's easy to fix it, though: rather than promptly say "no", listen carefully to the proposal. If it isn't a clubbing or drinking proposal, I think you should say yes and resist the urge to say "no". Once you say "yes", you'll be reminded of what's out there and the fact that it's okay to go out and have fun in other settings. 😉 A comedy club sounded reasonable . . . you don't have to drink if you don't want to. If you were asked to do it on a regular basis, then saying "no" is in order. 😛

i agree w/ luvly.

stepping outside your comfort zone once and a while is a good thing. especially if you have a girlfriend who enjoys the occasional night out. keep things lively for the sake of your relationship.

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: luvly
Actually no, I wouldn't say you're abnormal. I actually think it's cool when someone finds more important things in his life than clubbing and drinking. And personally, I would love any man who makes room to spend quality time at home with just the two of us.

However, I think you started with good intent but in the process programmed yourself to always say no. You have basically become lazy, as a result, or been preconditioned to say "no" (i.e., making excuses). It's easy to fix it, though: rather than promptly say "no", listen carefully to the proposal. If it isn't a clubbing or drinking proposal, I think you should say yes and resist the urge to say "no". Once you say "yes", you'll be reminded of what's out there and the fact that it's okay to go out and have fun in other settings. 😉 A comedy club sounded reasonable . . . you don't have to drink if you don't want to. If you were asked to do it on a regular basis, then saying "no" is in order. 😛

I keep blinking and telling myself this is an elborate gimmick account.

 

[TheAudit]

And if you ever break up with your girl and you have programmed yourself to be so anti-social to everyone you are going to have a very hard time finding anyone else. Staying home is fine, cutting your friends out of your life isn't.

Having a social life is a part of staying healthy.

 

[freebee]

I disagree with much of the statements presented here. All these young people wasting money going out, socializing, drinking, partying, etc. could have been better spent contributing towards 401k, the time spent reading, gaining knowledge, building a solid financial future. Not enough people sacrifice the present for the future...too much of the "live in the now" thinking going on.

Of course, being somewhat hypocritcal, I spend the day playing CS and saving for a 04 s2k...🙂

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: luvly
Actually no, I wouldn't say you're abnormal. I actually think it's cool when someone finds more important things in his life than clubbing and drinking. And personally, I would love any man who makes room to spend quality time at home with just the two of us.

However, I think you started with good intent but in the process programmed yourself to always say no. You have basically become lazy, as a result, or been preconditioned to say "no" (i.e., making excuses). It's easy to fix it, though: rather than promptly say "no", listen carefully to the proposal. If it isn't a clubbing or drinking proposal, I think you should say yes and resist the urge to say "no". Once you say "yes", you'll be reminded of what's out there and the fact that it's okay to go out and have fun in other settings. 😉 A comedy club sounded reasonable . . . you don't have to drink if you don't want to. If you were asked to do it on a regular basis, then saying "no" is in order. 😛

i agree w/ luvly.

stepping outside your comfort zone once and a while is a good thing. especially if you have a girlfriend who enjoys the occasional night out. keep things lively for the sake of your relationship.

OK guys, as queer as this sounds you've inspired me.. I emailed her and told her that I'd go if the free tickets are still available... i'm bringing a friend along (my gf's working and I'm allowed to bring a guest) so that I could know 2 people from the group... if I make a fool of myself I'll just accept the fact that I'm a social retard and I'll try not to feel too bad about it 😉

 

[TheAudit]

Originally posted by: freebee
I disagree with much of the statements presented here. All these young people wasting money going out, socializing, drinking, partying, etc. could have been better spent contributing towards 401k, the time spent reading, gaining knowledge, building a solid financial future. Not enough people sacrifice the present for the future...too much of the "live in the now" thinking going on.

Of course, being somewhat hypocritcal, I spend the day playing CS and saving for a 04 s2k...🙂

He's 22.
He's not going to take that $100 or $200 he would have spent going out and tuck it into a 401k.

You are staying home and saving for a car, that's different than saying no to everyone just to say no.


My feeling is that everyone is different and you have to do what is right for you.
Don't bother saying that what one person does is wrong when it might be right for that person.
I used to be a big time party guy during college and afterwards. My friends and I used to go out five days a week. It wasn't a matter of asking each other whether we were going out or not but where we were going. Now I am older and engaged and I no longer do the same things. It's fairly rare when I get the chance to party with my friends - basically we all have to make appointments and set a date a month or two in advance. We all have grown up and have different lives and families. But never ever have I regretted the things that I did. Because it was all fun. Every single time was an adventure and a story to be told. I have never had a bad time going out.

But that's me and every one is different.

But I tell you what - I am not one of those who will look back on their life and regretted that I didn't have fun while I had the chance to. I have some friends who missed out on these times and wish they could have done some of the things that I did. And now it's too late for any number of reasons. No regrets, life is too short to live with regrets.

 

[Gravity]

Um, doesn't sound like a relationship destined to last.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Gravity
Um, doesn't sound like a relationship destined to last.

Huh? Not sure what you're talking about.. I've been going out with my gf for nearly 7 years and I've always been a stay at home sorta guy..

 

[Lager]

Maybe you are not good at socializing or lack self-confidence in your looks.

 

[Fiveohhh]

I don't go out solely cause it costs way too much money to go to the bar as opposed to having a few friends over and drinking some beer. I allready have a GF, so I don't need to meet any girls..