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Why do girls have to bullsh!t guys?

QueHuong

Platinum Member
Oi, just got shot down less than half an hour ago 🙁

There's this very pretty girl I'm working with. 5'2", blonde with beautiful puppy dog eyes. I've only started to work here, so we don't know each other well at all...but we would joke around a bit and I would make a lot of eye contact with her and she would return it - it was either because I was looking at her or because she likes me too. Then she tells me "She likes me" - it was during a playful joke so I knew she meant as a friend, but I was still hopeful that she likes "likes" me.


And the geeks here, who probably never talked to a girl other than sisters and mother, were always dealing out advices about how to approach the girl and just go for it. I think that's good advice, but I wonder how many actually do what they say.

Anyway, I decided to just ask her out because I couldn't stop thinking about her - if she says yes, GREAT. If no, then I'll get over it. But I was thinking how the absolute worse answer was "I have a bf" because then that would make me wonder if she's just BSing me because she doesn't have the guts to turn me down, or whether or not if she would go out with me if she didn't have a bf.

Yesterday (Thurs) was her birthday, and I only found out Wed. She was gone on a birthday trip, but gets back today (Fri). So I bought her a rooster decoration thing and bought her a belated b-day card. Her name is "Dawn" so in the card, I wrote "The rooster is for the 'Dawn' of each new day." Cheesy, I know.


So I gave her the present, and she likes it. So I decided to ask her out directly, which was very difficult for me. Her answer: "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND." DAMMIT! I would rather that she would just tell me nicely "No." That boyfriend reply is just an insult to me - here, Computer Geek Me, worked up a lot nerve to ask a girl who I like A LOT (and thus would be devastated if she says no) and who's working closely with me until the middle of September every weekday...that was a big step for me....and here she gives me an excuse. Perhaps she really does have a boyfriend - but at least show me some respect by giving me a forthright answer to my question: "Will you go out with me?" It's a simple yes or no. But the reason I don't think she has a boyfriend is because I asked her if she went on her trip with anyone, and she only said grandparents. I'm always hearing girls tell guys to just be honest and approach the girl with their feelings. Why the heck won't girls be just as honest?

I'll be seeing her again Monday and I'm just gonna have her tell me "No" because it's the only other acceptable answer for a guy had kept all of his crushes a secret. Anyone else who got rejected or got a BS answer empathize with me? 🙁
 
rolleye.gif
 
Why would you doubt that she has a boyfriend?

If she's like you described, she probably doesn't have a problem getting them.

Viper GTS
 
Like I said, maybe she really does have a bf, but "Will you go out with me?" begs for a yes or no answer. And I don't have any pics of her.
 
Every girl I have ever really liked a lot has had a boyfriend. I usually try to find out whether or not they have a boyfriend by talking to them first before I start thinking anything.
 
Originally posted by: MindStorm
Like I said, maybe she really does have a bf, but "Will you go out with me?" begs for a yes or no answer. And I don't have any pics of her.

Yeah, I figured, I was just kidding...

But I'm sure she said "No, I have a boyfriend"...and at least this way, she didn't directly turn you down. She has a boyfriend.../wanders off to stroke ego.
 
Even so... this is taking place in the workplace, isn't it?

Tisk.

Leave that sh|t at the door when you go to work.


Or is this some girl that you're "working with" in a casual scene? If so, oh well. 😛
 
Originally posted by: MindStorm
Like I said, maybe she really does have a bf, but "Will you go out with me?" begs for a yes or no answer. And I don't have any pics of her.
Would you be happier if she said, "no, because I already have a boyfriend"?

 
OH MY GOD...perhaps people should start reading in between the lines - I thought most of you guys are smart here.

I asked her if she went on her birthday cruise with anyone...she just said grandparents.

Here's the explanation for my thinking she doesn't have a bf...typed out explicity for those slower people:

Do most girls spend their romantic birthday cruise with her grandparents, as opposed to bf? Like I said, maybe she's that type of nice girl, but MOST girls would be spending time with their bfs. Anyone else who do not understand?

And I also acknowledged that she may have a bf...but I would rather have an honest, frank "no."

 
have you considered the possibility that she does have a bf? I dunno...but I don't think she'd take her bf w/ her on a trip if her gramps planned the b-day thing.

-Ed
 
It seems like you thought this out because most of your post sounded like you thinking out loud. You said yourself that you wonder if she didn't have a bf, would she have said yes?

It seems like you are more upset at not knowing whether or not she would have gone out with you if she was sans boyfriend. I guess that is upsetting, but it shouldn't matter. You should just be sad that she said she has a bf which is the equivalent of saying no. If you really want to know the "real" answer ask her. Chances are she'll tell you "Of course I would go out with you if I didn't have a bf." Then you would be wondering if she was lying, again.

P.S. I like your card/joke. That is something I would have thought of. Real witty and corny but some girls like that.
 
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Even so... this is taking place in the workplace, isn't it?

Tisk.

Leave that sh|t at the door when you go to work.


Or is this some girl that you're "working with" in a casual scene? If so, oh well. 😛

It's a part-time college job...so I consider it casual. I just do stupid busy work and file stuff.
 
It's supposed to be easier on your ego if she says that instead of a "No, you ugly geek."

So accept it and move on.

 
Do most girls spend their romantic birthday cruise with her grandparents, as opposed to bf?

Do you find it odd that someone would spend their birthday with their family? Perhaps the grandparents planned and paid for it all.
 
Sounds like she made the right decision. Judging from your post, you would have made an obscessive, clingy and insecure boyfriend. Try to look at the situation from a third person perspective. You barely even know her and are already playing detective and trying to find some hidden meaning behind all this. Maybe she really does have a boyfriend. Maybe she just got out of a relationship and doesn't want one. Maybe she's a lesbian. Or maybe she just thinks you're a loser. Who cares? Move on.
 
Originally posted by: sygyzy
It seems like you thought this out because most of your post sounded like you thinking out loud. You said yourself that you wonder if she didn't have a bf, would she have said yes?

It seems like you are more upset at not knowing whether or not she would have gone out with you if she was sans boyfriend.

Exactly - that's why I didnt' like the "Bf" answer. I would have appreciated the "No" because it tells me, "No, I don't want to go out with you." No ambiguity there...so I can get over her quickly.

And to the person who said he's sure she said "No, I have a bf." I was there...she just said "I have a bf."

 
Originally posted by: MindStorm
...but "Will you go out with me?" begs for a yes or no answer.
did you actually ask her like that? i mean, being forward is the way to go, but personally, i have never or would ever ask this way. "Would you like to go get something to eat after work?" or a variation of that would work better in my eyes. Oh well, i dont know the whole situation between you two, just adding my .02
 
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