Why do girls fail at the sneeze?

NuclearNed

Raconteur
May 18, 2001
7,860
353
126
Were they asleep on the day that sneezing was taught in school? A girl in the next cubicle just did a "girl sneeze": quiet, suppressed as much as is humanly possible, and accomplishing nothing. It sounded something like a bunny whispering "shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo".

I nearly blow my head off during a good sneeze. Actually, I don't know when in recent memory I've had a just single sneeze - they always come in at least pairs, and the really good ones are in even greater multiples. Letting loose a rip-roaring sneeze is one of those unsung pleasures in life.

I'm definitely not a misogynist, but girl sneezes are full of the fail.
 

40Hands

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2004
5,042
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I hear ya. Girls are notorious for this! I always thought it couldn't be good to repress a sneeze like they do.
 

Nik

Lifer
Jun 5, 2006
16,101
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Girl: 'chew! 'chew! 'chew! 'chew! 'chew! 'chew! 'chew!
Guy: BLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKHEEEEUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH and slobber and snot and spit go everywhere
 

effowe

Diamond Member
Nov 1, 2004
6,012
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81
I try to avoid sneezing by plugging my nose when I feel one coming on, otherwise it's a big loud mess.
 

ggnl

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2004
5,095
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I try to keep my sneezes at a moderate decibel level in the office. Not silent by any means, but definitely not like at home. Am I half full of fail?
 

Vehemence

Banned
Jan 25, 2008
5,943
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My chest nearly caves in, my neck strains, and about half a casserole is projected out of my face whenever I sneeze. People in the next building can hear it and are concerned. Fuck stifled sneezes.
 

Martin

Lifer
Jan 15, 2000
29,178
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I never did figure out how to do the stifled sneezes. Nor do I want to, it looks pretty unpleasant to do.
 

mugs

Lifer
Apr 29, 2003
48,920
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Originally posted by: ggnl
I try to keep my sneezes at a moderate decibel level in the office. Not silent by any means, but definitely not like at home. Am I half full of fail?

I really don't think your coworkers would care about you sneezing at full volume.
 
Feb 19, 2001
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Actually I can pull a girl sneeze if I need to, and I usually do that during like midterms/exams or whatever. I try to supress the sneeze regularly but not so much. There have been times where I just let it all fly and I shake my head as I have to wipe down my Dell monitor ><
 

BassBomb

Diamond Member
Nov 25, 2005
8,390
1
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I know people who try to retain or stop themselves from sneezing. If I ever did that it feels sooo bad and they look like in so much pain.

Personally I blare out like the OP does when I sneeze. I yell louder at home for jokes though, but at work I'll just sneeze naturally.

Honestly who gives a crap about being "silent" when sneezing
 

oddyager

Diamond Member
May 21, 2005
3,398
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Originally posted by: BassBomb
I know people who try to retain or stop themselves from sneezing. If I ever did that it feels sooo bad and they look like in so much pain.

Personally I blare out like the OP does when I sneeze. I yell louder at home for jokes though, but at work I'll just sneeze naturally.

Honestly who gives a crap about being "silent" when sneezing


Because when a lady sneezes she's not trying to turn her nostrils inside out. Me, I try to blow the office down when I do.
 

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,280
1,787
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I used to work with a guy who we called the Sneezanator. People in other rooms 100s of feet away could hear him sneeze.
 

CrazyLazy

Platinum Member
Jun 21, 2008
2,124
1
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Depends on the girl, some of them are skilled and can do a stealth sneeze. The majority just fail though and the sneeze ends up sounding like a dieing animal.
 

MagnusTheBrewer

IN MEMORIAM
Jun 19, 2004
24,122
1,594
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Women stifle their sneezes because their sneezonators are hardwired to their pee and fart controllers. Did no one take basic female anatomy?
 

FeuerFrei

Diamond Member
Mar 30, 2005
9,144
929
126
As long as they don't yell when they sneeze. That's extra obnoxious. Some people think they have to use their vocal cords.

Stifled sneezes don't really bother me. 0_o
 

darkxshade

Lifer
Mar 31, 2001
13,749
6
81
Right before a major sneeze, I would grab my nose and let err rip as my brain explodes and shoot like ketchup out my ears. yeah!
 

ra1nman

Senior member
Dec 9, 2007
333
4
81
....whenever my dad sneezed it ended up as
"HA-CHING"

Me sneeze
"HA-CHOO"

My parents were Filipino, does that make me americanized?
LOL
 

imported_Imp

Diamond Member
Dec 20, 2005
9,148
0
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Most girly sneezes are these small, successive, mini-blasts. Others squeeze the nose.

I have a perfect, wet sneeze. Not loud, like I'm yelling (hate that), through the teeth and towards the floor.
 
Feb 6, 2007
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Girls also don't have stinky sneezes. You know the sneezes where, after it dissipates, there's a very specific odor that you never smell anywhere else except after a particular sneeze? I've never known a girl to get that, only men. I think it's a case of having so much testosterone that it comes spewing forth from your nose myself; it is a terribly masculine smell.

So yeah, girls pretty much just fail all over when it comes to sneezing.
 

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,653
205
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BBW to the chik pig: I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll SNEEZE your house down...