Why can't I remember names?

JEDI

Lifer
Sep 25, 2001
29,391
2,738
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I'm at a client meeting. The only reason why I remember the client's name and his staff that's involved in the project is because their names are in the email list.

I met the client's boss and 5 min after he says his name, i don't remember it :( It was by luck that i noticed a plaque on the wall w/the boss's name.

and this isn't the only time. whenever i meet someone, i do not remember that person's name unless it is written down somewhere.

Does anyone have this problem?

Any sugestions?
 

BCYL

Diamond Member
Jun 7, 2000
7,803
0
71
Use their name as soon as they say it... after you use it a couple of times it will be easier to remember...
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,020
156
106
Exchange business cards as soon as you meet someone. When I do that at a meeting I just leave the cards in front of me so I can sneak a look at them if necessary.

If you can't do that, then if you carry a legal pad to take meeting notes you can write their names very small at the top of the page (so they can't see it, but you can).
 

eakers

Lifer
Aug 14, 2000
12,169
2
0
this will sound retarded but i always associate people with a little story then after our meeting or whatever i tell myself the story using their name so i never forget it.

for example, my friend sarah's story is that she was dans girlfriend sarah who was always sick. (she was sick the first 2 times i met her)
 

Luagsch

Golden Member
Apr 25, 2003
1,614
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i have the same problem. it's hard for me to remember names as i associate people in a visual way. i remember the face of about everyone i talked to, but when it comes to names i s*ck bigtimes....
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,844
1,049
126
Originally posted by: BCYL
Use their name as soon as they say it... after you use it a couple of times it will be easier to remember...
I think this is the best way to go. The only downside is that you sound like a dork if you meet 5-10 new people at once and you go around saying Hi _____.... Nice to meet you _______... How are you ______... etc. ;)

 

ChefJoe

Platinum Member
Jan 5, 2002
2,506
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I have trouble with people's names. Even if I want to remember, it takes a while. The saying it a few times suggestion helps, I think the business card/write it on a notepad one is a good suggestion too. I normally end up repeating the names over and over again in my head for the rest of the day, maybe jotting down the name and what they looked like (how they were dressed at the time usually works for me) and leaving that note somewhere on my desk for a week. After all that, I seem to remember the name.
 

An excellent book is you're interested in how these 'slips' of the memory occur is The Seven Sins of Memory: How the Mind Forgets and Remembers by Daniel Shachter. I had to read it for my psych class and it's excellent and also very entertaining.

It explains why we remember the past as a happy time, even if it wasn't. It also explains such simple things as how we have to remember the beginning of a sentence in order to remember the end. An example:

The course was so hard that he never shot under 90 strokes.
The course was so hard that he never got an A- on a test.

You have to remember the beginning of the sentence in order to apply the word 'course' in the correct way.

Fascinating stuff.
 

captains

Diamond Member
Mar 27, 2003
4,065
1
0
i have that problem too.....a girl walked in one day and looked pretty good....she said her name and like 2 min later i couldnt remember it........what i think your problem is...like mine is that what ever they had to say or do just wasnt important enough to draw your attention to them....they are the suck and u had better things on your mind at the time
 

Mallow

Diamond Member
Jul 25, 2001
6,108
1
0
5 sec after someone tells me their name I forget. However, I will remember their face for a good 20 years. If I know I need to remember a name I chant it to myself and that usually works.
 

captains

Diamond Member
Mar 27, 2003
4,065
1
0
I chant it to myself and that usually works



ummmmmm
rolleye.gif
 

dighn

Lifer
Aug 12, 2001
22,820
4
81
same here. my memory is especially crappy for rememberig names. funny thing, when i was in highschool, i saw my physics teacher who i knew for almost two years and i coudln't remember his name! though my memory isn't bad for other things.
 

BD2003

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
16,815
1
81
Once you hear the name, youve got about 15 seconds to commit it to long term memory before you lose it.

I find it far far easier to remember the names of beautiful women than I do ten guys I just met.

Just make it a thing to repeat the name in your head a few times, and you wont forget anymore.
 

SP33Demon

Lifer
Jun 22, 2001
27,928
143
106
Originally posted by: captains
what i think your problem is...like mine is that what ever they had to say or do just wasnt important enough to draw your attention to them....they are teH suck and u had better things on your mind at the time

 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,020
156
106
If you meet someone and forget their name, the best thing to do is just be upfront and say "I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name." No shame in that, and the one moment of awkwardness is easier to live with than the indefinite period of fear because you still don't know their name. Remember "Mulva". :)

There's something strange about the way my brain is wired, because when I can't remember someone's name I won't draw a blank - I'll get it confused with another name that has the same number of letters. If I meet someone named Carol, if I don't remember the name later on I might think it's Linda or Julie. Most people might come up with Connie or Candace instead, but not me. :confused: :eek:
 

There was a guy at the country club I worked at who called me Kevin one day (my name is Mike). I didn't want to embarass him, so I just sort of ignored it hoping it'd go away.

Needless to say, the whole thing spiraled out of control and he ended up calling me Kevin for about two years, and the other members sometimes asked me about it. It was a huge joke between the staff members, and everyone made fun of me because I didn't have the heart to tell him my name was Mike.

So, long story short - make sure you get peoples' names right.
 

isaacmacdonald

Platinum Member
Jun 7, 2002
2,820
0
0
apathy. That's why.

I'm the same way. I remember arcane facts, procedures, names of streets, but when it comes to new "clients" I'm terrible. It's difficult to fake yourself into caring.
 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,596
20
81
I can't remember people's names either, unless they wear nametags (talking about working at Walmart anyway). That increases my chance of remembering by about 8%, but it helps. I learn better by reading than by hearing. If I would read something in a book and take a test on it, I'd do great. Lecture - I wouldn't remember much of anything. Reading lets me process information at whatever speed I need; I guess my mind runs at variable bitrate. Audio is realtime - I don't do realtime all the time.
 

Salvador

Diamond Member
May 19, 2001
7,058
0
71
I know.. That's weird, isn't it? I always have trouble with names as well, but never forget a face. I think it's because you're always worried about making a good first impression. You end up thinking about yourself instead of what the guy or girl is saying. I guess you really need to be in tune with what they are saying when they say their name.

Sal
 

JEDI

Lifer
Sep 25, 2001
29,391
2,738
126
Originally posted by: jumpr
There was a guy at the country club I worked at who called me Kevin one day (my name is Mike). I didn't want to embarass him, so I just sort of ignored it hoping it'd go away.

Needless to say, the whole thing spiraled out of control and he ended up calling me Kevin for about two years, and the other members sometimes asked me about it. It was a huge joke between the staff members, and everyone made fun of me because I didn't have the heart to tell him my name was Mike.

So, long story short - make sure you get peoples' names right.

Friends episode?
 

Looney

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
21,938
5
0
Originally posted by: eakers
this will sound retarded but i always associate people with a little story then after our meeting or whatever i tell myself the story using their name so i never forget it.

That's actually a mnemonic trick to help with remembering names. Of course, i'm too lazy to even come up with a story... so i'm very forgetful with names too.