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Why am I putting myself through this... *update 2* ah the rollercoaster that is my life

Deeko

Lifer
Yes, I am having more problems with my girlfriend. She told me tonight she still loves me, but doesn't feel in love with me(i hate when girls say that, its such crap), she thinks she may have never been in love it was just infatuation, we are too young to be getting this involved, and that she has felt all this for a month. What the hell, nothing seemed to be wrong, everything was finally good again. She was in california for the week, she gets back today, and throws this in my face. I have never felt this crappy in my life. Well, I hope you guys are right and its best I don't have a relationship when I go to college, cuz at this rate it doesn't look like I'm going to. Not my choice though 🙁
 
It aint worth it. Unless she is "the one" why bother? You have bigger fish to fry.
 
Methinks she found a new infatuation in California.

But seriously, I'd dump that grease right into the garbage. She's basically too weak to dump you herself; too "nice".

And you might miss her now, but not when you get to college. Unless you're heading to an all-boys school, you will find many hotties on campus.
 
Its not that hard...you have to realize, my feelings for her haven't faltered. If anything, I love her more than I ever did before. And for the last month, she hasn't felt the same...rgh it makes it even harder that she waited that long to say something...i was really close to saying something like if she is gonna dump me she should do it, rather than dragging it out...but I can't bring myself to say something like that.
 
what omega said. unless she is 'the one' don't waste your time, plenty more where she came from.
 
Deeko, I feel for ya.. It's possible that she knows as well as you do that you're going off to college, and has the same concerns and worries about it that you do. She may be pre-emptively preparing herself for that.

Dunno... can't say because I don't know you guys. Good luck, though..
 
I'm guessing she found someone in CA too. But it's probably best that it ends now before you go to college. Trust me, you'll forget about her when you go to college. You'll be meeting too many new people to remember her.
 
Be a man.

Tell her OK, You understand her feelings and would not want to stand in her way of finding herself.

Get the hell out of the way of a moving truck before you get smooshed.

 
Originally posted by: djheater
Be a man.

Tell her OK, You understand her feelings and would not want to stand in her way of finding herself.

Get the hell out of the way of a moving truck before you get smooshed.


Ditto.

If she doesn't feel the same why bother with it? Your going to College and there will be a lot of girls out there! If she did feel the same then maybe you could have worked it through college depending on how you felt about her.
 
I thought about posting this originally.

There is no reason to assume that she cheated on you. It is entirely normal, almost to the point of cliche, for people to have that type of reaction in an early relationship. She is probably convinced (like most adolescent's and young adults) that friendship is different and exclusive of romantic love. As she matures she will realize how stupid that is. In the meantime there is nothing you can do about it. The more you try and alter the situation to satisfy your desires the more mental anguish you will cause yourself. Realize that you can not in any way alter her behavior or force her to realize the nature of her mistake, it's something she must learn for herself. That being said my original post stands as my advice.

Build a bridge and get the fvck over it.
 
Things are kinda better today. She doesn't like want to break up with me or anything. She just doesn't feel 'in love', even though she 'loves me deeply'(what the hell does that mean?). She doesn't know if she just thinks she is feeling that cuz I'm going away soon, or if she never really was in love, I have no idea what she is talking about....ugh.
 
You're coming to Drexel... relationship-worthy girls are rare here. You generally have to trek it over to Penn just to find someone decent. Just keep that in mind before you pull the plug on this one entirely. 😀

CK
 
Yea that's one thing I was considering...for one, guys outnumber girls 3:1 there, and the girls that ARE there aren't all the best 🙂 There are a few nearby schools though...but still...I don't want to worry about it at all
 
That's life. Deal with it. You're gonna have to put up with a lot more sh*t than that. Ok I'm only 18 myself but it's tough I know.

Me and my GF, well, we got it all good except one iddy biddy problem: we're not allowed to be together (yet anyway) thanks to her ultra strict mom who has nothing against me but doesn't like her. My last few months in HS (I graduated now but I'm going to a local college; she still has a bit to go) we were basically ultra depressed and kinda went on an off every few days. Her "best friend" wasn't much help either. The pain was too much; we didn't even talk on the phone all summer; but she asked that I do this for her and I said I understand. Now I'm counting down the days (3 weeks or so) til I get to see her again (after all, she did ask me if I could go a summer without her and I said I could).

You may not realize this, but I know exactly what you're looking for: a final solution.

Deep down I bet you either want her to get really pissed at you and tell you she never wants to see you again so you can get it overwith, or to tell you she does want to be together.

It's all the time in-between that's the killer. In the words of Adema,

"I was amazed at the torment that you put me through".
 
In relationship wise ive always felt that if she has any problems with you, and doesnt want to work it out, not matter how much it hurts just let her go. Even if you want to stay with her, it will give her time to think about what she wants. Besides if you do Really care about her then maybe its for the best. Sometimes youve got to let go.
 
Dude, you will be so much happier single! Yes, the companionshit...... errrr.... companionship is nice sometimes, but the opposite sex (this goes both ways!) is always going to be unpredictable and will hit you when you least expect it. The best way to get over her is say goodbye and don't see each other anymore. She obviously isn't happy.... not that it's your fault, but it never works unless both hearts are in a relationship.

All IMO.

Jugs
 
It might be something else... I got almost that exact same speach three nights ago from my gf,and we are no longer together. I found out from her sister today that she said all of that because my father is in rough shape and she feels like I should spend all the time I've been spending with her with him instead. She felt like I wouldn;t understand that if she told me that, so she had to hurt me bad enough to know try and win her back, even though I guess it's really hurting her too...

Before you rip the girl's head off, think of it like this. It sucks for you, and it's probably over, but there could very well be something going through her head and she's actually trying to do you a favor and hurting herself worse to make you happy. Not all women are evil, she might be trying to do the best for you
 
Originally posted by: djheater
Be a man.

Tell her OK, You understand her feelings and would not want to stand in her way of finding herself.

Get the hell out of the way of a moving truck before you get smooshed.

Not exactly the words I would have chosen, but jheater's pretty much covered it.

You'll also find that both teenage men and women have terrible problems with "buyer's remorse", always concerned they might be able to do better than the one they're with -- "If you like me, then you must not be as desireable as I thought" -- and then the flip side is tending to idealize someone who isn't interested in them -- "If you don't like me, then you must be desireable". Sounds to me like she might be on one side of this, and you might be on the other (somewhat).

Anyway, you don't really want a "high school sweetheart" when going away to college. Tough it out for a few more weeks as friends, and say goodbye. And enjoy college!.
 
We went out today...avoided this subject though. She did seem really distant...she kissed her 2 year old nephew more than me. And we used to constantly be latched on to each other, holding hands or arms or whatever, today if I didn't move nearer to her she made no effort to move nearer to me. I feel like I'm losing her 🙁 This is horrible, like the one guy I said I do wish things would get back to normal, or end...but if she breaks up with me, I would be totally crushed, if thats whats gonna happen I wish there were a way for me to fall out of love with her...but that's not likely, and I don't really want it to anyway 🙁 Urgh
 
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