I hate it, I absolutely do.
I guess the reason why I choose to go to college was because it was the thing to do and people said that I was a smart kid so i should do it or I'd be wasting myself, etc.
Well, at the end of this year I will have 51 credits. And I am honestly not all that sure whether I want to keep going or not. It sucks, because if I took classes this summer, I would only have 2 more years, so I'm already kinda at the halfway point,
but seriously I think school does nothing but hamper my confidence. maybe I'm smart but I hate schoolwork with such a passion that I always put it off until the last minute, and because of that I dont end up doing as well,
like I'll probably get Bs this semester. And if I was taking harder classes I'd probably get worse.
I just can't stand it, it really makes me feel like crap and a worthless incapable person, because I lack the motivation to do things the right way here, and do a good job. I swear i procrastinate worse than like anyone else i know. I did my assignment in class today (it was due by the end of class) and basically missed the lecture because I was working on that.
And in the free time when i am not doing homework it seems like the quality of my time is sucky because during that time I'm only realizing that I have something I need to do for some day (like u always do in college) and that I'm putting it off, and if I think about that i feel worthless.
And to be quite honest I'm not even sure if the 'fun' dorm life really does much to compensate for it. I mean ppl dont party, drink, have sex, or any of that (and I'm kind of glad they dont here, because thats not really in my morals)
and well what can i say, college life is a drag and makes me feel like the least productive person on this planet. Maybe I should get another job or something (in the on campus one i have now all i do is sit around and get paid $7 an hour. even during this time I dont manage to get any homework done!) so maybe getting a different job would make me feel more productive, i dunno, i guess i just feel like crap. I mean all i do is go to class, put in a really half ass 2 minute effort on all my studying and assignments, and sure i might come out with passing grades, but it just doesnt feel very fufilling if you know what i mean.
I guess the reason why I choose to go to college was because it was the thing to do and people said that I was a smart kid so i should do it or I'd be wasting myself, etc.
Well, at the end of this year I will have 51 credits. And I am honestly not all that sure whether I want to keep going or not. It sucks, because if I took classes this summer, I would only have 2 more years, so I'm already kinda at the halfway point,
but seriously I think school does nothing but hamper my confidence. maybe I'm smart but I hate schoolwork with such a passion that I always put it off until the last minute, and because of that I dont end up doing as well,
like I'll probably get Bs this semester. And if I was taking harder classes I'd probably get worse.
I just can't stand it, it really makes me feel like crap and a worthless incapable person, because I lack the motivation to do things the right way here, and do a good job. I swear i procrastinate worse than like anyone else i know. I did my assignment in class today (it was due by the end of class) and basically missed the lecture because I was working on that.
And in the free time when i am not doing homework it seems like the quality of my time is sucky because during that time I'm only realizing that I have something I need to do for some day (like u always do in college) and that I'm putting it off, and if I think about that i feel worthless.
And to be quite honest I'm not even sure if the 'fun' dorm life really does much to compensate for it. I mean ppl dont party, drink, have sex, or any of that (and I'm kind of glad they dont here, because thats not really in my morals)
and well what can i say, college life is a drag and makes me feel like the least productive person on this planet. Maybe I should get another job or something (in the on campus one i have now all i do is sit around and get paid $7 an hour. even during this time I dont manage to get any homework done!) so maybe getting a different job would make me feel more productive, i dunno, i guess i just feel like crap. I mean all i do is go to class, put in a really half ass 2 minute effort on all my studying and assignments, and sure i might come out with passing grades, but it just doesnt feel very fufilling if you know what i mean.
