Who's right, me or her?

[Pastore]

We are both 18. So my girlfriend is all pissed off at me. She has wanted to go camping for a while now. I keep telling her that my dad will not let me go. She keeps saying, "When are you going to start growing up, and start thinking for yourself?" I am sorry that I have respect for my father in his wishes. It is something that he believes should not happen, and I respect that, whether or not I agree with it.

So I told her I am going to be hanging out with some friends on Wednesday night. She asks me if I am going to be staying the night. I told her, "No, my dad wouldn't like me out over night at his house." Again she starts flipping out about me making my own decisions. It is not my place to be deciding what I can do when it is ultimately my fathers, in my opinion.

I am not going to lie to my dad about this. He is honest with me, and I am glad that we have that in our relationship. My girlfriend doesn't understand this because she goes behind her mothers back all the time and does things she wouldn't like.

Who is right?

 

[Evadman]

You are male, there fore always wrong. Sorry to be the berrer of bad news.

 

[IJump]

I think the fact that you honor your father's wishes and are honest with him is cool, especially if you still live at home.


If your girlfriend doesn't understand, maybe it is time to find a new one.

 

[gogeeta13]

you are both wrong..

she needs to stop controlling you so much

and

you need to grow a pair and get out on your own, dont be a _father's_ boy, look what happened in the christian religion..

 

[Jarwa]

Originally posted by: Evadman
You are male, therefore always wrong. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

That is correct.

But anyway, I think you are in the right. She can just get over it. If she can't get over it, then so be it. Life goes on...............

 

[Pundit]

Your father shouldn't be controlling you. You are sentient and self-determined. Or you should be. If you want to go camping, then you should go. If you agree with your father's reasoning behind not going, then don't go.

 

[mskalak]

If you still live at home, your right.

 

[EvilYoda]

I agree, in part, with Gogeeta.....your g/f is way too controlling, to bring up something every time. If she can't accept that you live different lives, maybe you should find someone who can understand something so simple as that. As for your father, I have similar parents......I've lied to them before, and I still lie occasionally, but cherish the fact that you have someone who cares. Ditch your girl, if need be (I'm not pretending to know everything), you can't find a new father.

In time, your father will let you do things you can't do now, but at that point, at least you'll have a good relationship with your father (which, it sounds like, is more than can be said about your girl), and enjoy your life at the same time.

 

[Stallion]

doesn't matter if your 18 or 80, if you live at home and your parents are paying the bills it's his way or the hiway. That's how I see it anyways.

I'm glad you respect your dads wishes, it's nice to see someone who listens to the parents for once.

 

[wnied]

Your right to be as honest as you are with your father. Dont mess up a good thing to impress someone else. Your girlfriend is just that, a girfriend. Shes not your wife or fiancee. If she cannot understand your relationship with your father, then its her loss. More and more people do things today that they regret later on in the future.

Stick with your principles and do what you feel is best for you.
Always remember that Blood is Thicker than water.
~wnied~

 

[zimmie6576]

No matter who is really right, in her eyes you will always be wrong. No matter what.

 

[kru]

first off, it's "Who's right...she or I?"

on the one hand, if you're financially dependent on your father and living under his roof, then you have to respect his rules. the fact that you seem to be doing so out of genuine respect for him is very cool. don't listen to your girlfriend. you ARE making a decision...and your decision is to respect your father. i'd say kick her to the curb...someone like that wouldn't constitute long-term relationship material in my book.

 

[Stiler]

umm one thing, why is your daddy telling you not to spend the night at someones house and not to go camping? thats kinda....awkward.

 

[thereds]

Originally posted by: Stiler
umm one thing, why is your daddy telling you not to spend the night at someones house and not to go camping? thats kinda....ackward.

ackward?

 

[b0mbrman]

Originally posted by: Evadman
You are male, there fore always wrong. Sorry to be the berrer of bad news.

It's funny cuz it's true

 

[Cyco]

Originally posted by: Stallion
doesn't matter if your 18 or 80, if you live at home and your parents are paying the bills it's his way or the hiway. That's how I see it anyways.

I'm glad you respect your dads wishes, it's nice to see someone who listens to the parents for once.

Pretty much what I was thinking.

 

[Chi11yDog]

Originally posted by: Evadman
You are male, there fore always wrong. Sorry to be the berrer of bad news.

What he said.

 

[kami]

Hmm...you're 18 and an adult. So I'd say in a way she is right. Respecting your parents is one thing, but being told that it's bad to sleep over at a buddies house when you are legally an adult is frankly ridiculous.

 

[johnjohn320]

Yeah, as someone else said, I think you're both wrong. Your girlfriend should respect that you will follow your father's wishes, and shouldn't try to control that.

However, she's got a point: When are you gonna grow up? I'm presuming you're in high school, it's time to start making some desicions, I'm not saying sneak out at night or lie to your father, but you didn't mention anywhere in your post why your father has seemingly over-protective standards. (He'll let you have a girlfriend, but not spend the night at a bud's house? He'll let you post on an internet message board and put your personal info out there, but not go camping?).

Seems like both of you need to grow up a little, just my opinion.

 

[Stallion]

Well if he is an adult and wants to do what, he wants and go where he wants , then he need to move out and get his own place just like most adults.

It's all about respect. Plain and simple. Your dad raised you with some morals and now you are using your best judgement. Nothing wrong with that.

so until you move out I say your doing the right thing by listening to your dad.

Besides,what is the next thing she is going to complain about?

Sorry but she sounds like trouble and a nag if she judges you this harshly for doing your fathers wishes. I hope my son and daughter respect my wishes when they are living with me.

 

[FoBoT]

you are right

especially if you still live in your fathers house

Good Man!!!!

 

[datalink7]

You are right.

But your father needs to grow up.

 

[eakers]

did you explain to her that your decision is to respect your father's wishes?

but even if you do that you'll still be wrong.

*kat. <-- girls! sheesh!

 

[Ionizer86]

First off, like the others said, your gf sounds like she's slightly overly demading when it comes to asking you to break your father's wishes. I don't know, but it's probably not too nice of her to want you to break your dad's wishes. He did raise you, and he really cares for your well-being, so he implements some restrictions.

I think that maybe if you want a bit more freedom, have a chat with your dad, explaining why you think you should be allowed a little bit more freedom. It's really good that you're being honest with your father. That's definitely good, and if you speak to him nicely, he should understand how you feel, and why you deserve to be allowed to sleep out once in a while, as long as nothing bad happens.

Your gf is slightly demanding, but I don't know what to say, because I don't have the exact words she used when telling you what she feels. That's probably better for you to have your own opinion of her, positive or negative.

Well, sorry to bore you with too much typed stuff

 

[Pastore]

Yes, I told her I wasn't going to go behind my dads back, and she said that was stupid and immature.