uh coming from a lifer... I always thought it was the norm for people to talk about their lives or thoughts in OT...
bradruth
Lifer
- Aug 9, 2002
- 13,479
- 2
- 81
It's commendable that he'd want to help someone, but this lady was mentally unstable and apparently not a very nice person. Regardless, I don't see any situation where I would leave my SO alone in a restaurant like that.
It's one thing to help people. It's another thing to help people who don't deserve it while casting your SO aside.
It's one thing to help people. It's another thing to help people who don't deserve it while casting your SO aside.
Originally posted by: KingNothing
Originally posted by: Tomato
Originally posted by: KingNothing
I was actually referring to the lack of cliff notes.
Based on your story alone, it was very rude for him to leave you at the restaurant alone. However, if you were being obnoxious and stubborn about not going, then you should've just gone with him.
Doh!Fixed.
To be fair, he didn't rush off and leave me, I told him I felt uncomfortable and that I was going to stay at the restaurant. I also said I would feel better about things if he didn't go, but he did choose to do so.
1) That's much less dramatic than your OP made things out to be
2) You still should've gone with him.
Glad we of ATOT could help.
Fixed the OP, hopefully that helps make things more fair. I chose not to go with him because I felt really uncomfortable around the woman. I didn't want to be around a racist, and wanted to avoid the slim possibility she may have had a weapon of some sort.
I'm glad all of you were able to help too, I appreciate the different opinions and input.
Tough situation, but she is someone he doesn't know, and he knows you enough to be your FIANCE. Therefore he should have respected your wishes. I'd be mad, but I wouldn't kill him and bury in the La Brea tarpits or anything. I understand the feeling of helping someone, but safety certainly precludes someone from doing something that could result in possible harm, especially after you asking him not to. I'd pout for a day or two and then let it go -- if I were a female, which I'm mostly not, except at night when I dress up.
I think it was wrong of him for a couple of reason, not wrong for what he did, but how he did it
first I find the whole thing odd, if the manager or waitress told him she does this, y would he still do it? but cant fault him for being too nice i guess
then he should not have done it in Your car...i think thats a big part of it, if it was his car and he wanted to help someone thats fine, but if you dont want someone in your car, that should be the end of it
and he should hav eanswered his cell phone, did he give you any reason why he didnt?
the act wasnt wrong, but leaving u behind to help a stranger that was known to have problems and assualt people (at least verbally) for no reason is odd, especially since there was a cab coming...it wasnt like she was in any danger by being there and she will probably just end up back there again.
first I find the whole thing odd, if the manager or waitress told him she does this, y would he still do it? but cant fault him for being too nice i guess
then he should not have done it in Your car...i think thats a big part of it, if it was his car and he wanted to help someone thats fine, but if you dont want someone in your car, that should be the end of it
and he should hav eanswered his cell phone, did he give you any reason why he didnt?
the act wasnt wrong, but leaving u behind to help a stranger that was known to have problems and assualt people (at least verbally) for no reason is odd, especially since there was a cab coming...it wasnt like she was in any danger by being there and she will probably just end up back there again.
not to mention he is very naive. i guess he should live in the city for a couple of years, then he'd stop caring.
couldn't agree more. That was pretty disrespectful of tomato's feelings and wishes and property.
We all make choices, he made his in light of how much it would disrespect tomato.
how is there any debate in this? taking a homeless old lady out into the woods, raping and killing her is always the right thing to do. how dare you criticize him?
yllus
Elite Member & Lifer
- Aug 20, 2000
- 20,577
- 432
- 126
Good intentions, absolutely absymal implementation. What kind of dolt leaves his fiancee at a restaurant alone and doesn't answer his cell phone after she's obviously nervous about the situation?
I think the situation would have been well served if, when he came back, you took the keys and left him at the restaurant to find his own way home. Assholeish behaviour with good intentions = assholeish behaviour.
I think the situation would have been well served if, when he came back, you took the keys and left him at the restaurant to find his own way home. Assholeish behaviour with good intentions = assholeish behaviour.
kranky
Elite Member
- Oct 9, 1999
- 21,019
- 156
- 106
You might not have liked it, but it's a stretch to call it "blatant disrespect" since you opted to stay. I think the racist thing is irrelevant to the situation.
You felt you would be in danger, he felt differently. Just a difference of opinion.
I realize you were unhappy, but again you chose to stay. He should have answered his cell phone, though, unless he felt you were going to be chewing him out on the phone.
I don't see any disrespect here. I may not have chosen to do what he did, but he chose to do it, you knew what he was doing, and you chose not to go along. He should have told you where he was going and should have answered his cell (again, unless he had reason to believe you would have argued with him on the phone). I would chalk it up to a difference of opinion and let it go.
Both your SO and you were wrong.
This woman should have taken the cab. Your argument was valid but not heard. Like you, I would have been afraid and angry. Unlike you, I would have gotten into the car with my SO. There is some truth in ?safety in numbers.? My fear and anger at his decision during that time would have been secondary to his safety.
This woman should have taken the cab. Your argument was valid but not heard. Like you, I would have been afraid and angry. Unlike you, I would have gotten into the car with my SO. There is some truth in ?safety in numbers.? My fear and anger at his decision during that time would have been secondary to his safety.
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