Situation:
My fiance and I went to eat lunch at a restaurant today. After we finished, as we went up to the front to pay a bill, there was a commotion involving waitresses, the manager and an elderly lady. The manager was telling the woman to please leave, and she was screaming, "ONLY AN INDIAN WOULD PUT AN OLD WOMAN OUT ON THE STREET! ONLY YOU INDIANS WOULD KICK AN OLD LADY OUT ON THE STREET!!"
I asked one of the waitresses what was going on, and she said, "This woman came in yesterday, and we took her in and gave her a free meal. She told a few different stories, and we're not sure she's completely there. We told her to call the police or to go elsewhere for help, but she convinced some people to take her and her bags somewhere. Those people came back later and warned us that she would ask for a place to stay, beg for money, ask to be driven to the airport or to another city, and that she was very mentally unstable. We would recommend staying away from her, she's been insulting our guests and now our manager with a lot of racial insults. If she doesn't get what she wants from someone, she'll use a racial slur towards that person. She's insulted "Arab towel-heads", "n******", etc."
I was nervous and told my fiance we had to go, but the homeless woman asked my fiance to help her carry her bags and drive her somewhere. My fiance always tries to be a gentleman, so he began carrying all her bags to our car. Honestly, I didn't not feel completely comfortable with the situation, and asked my fiance to please let her wait for her cab (the restaurant had called a cab for her) and for us to go. He ignored me, took the woman's bags to our car (my car), and drove away.
I was upset because:
1. My fiance blatantly disrespected me by leaving when I had asked him to please not leave... especially with a racist.
2. My fiance would have put me in danger had I gotten into the car as well (if the woman was mentally unstable, she could have had a knife, a gun, whatever... I was erring on the side of caution).
3. My fiance left me for almost half an hour, disappeard to god knows where, didn't pick up his cell phone and left me in the restaurant crying to a waitress.
He eventually came back, and his side of the story was that he just wanted to help a homeless woman, and despite everyone else telling him not to help, he did because he felt it was the right thing. He didn't feel he was in danger, and despite the fact she was a racist, he felt she needed help so he helped her.
Maybe I'm being irrational or over-emotional, but I really feel as if he shouldn't have gone. We just had an argument over it, and I guess I was curious about ATOT's opinion... please bear in mind I'm not adverse to helping out a homeless person or someone in need, but in this specific situation I didn't feel comfortable or safe about it.
Thoughts?
Cliff notes, as requested:
1. Crazy old racist lady in a restaurant, is hysterical calls the manager a "dirty Indian".
2. The restaurant had called a cab for her, but she asked my fiance to put her bags into my car and give her a ride somewhere.
3. I tell fiance not to go because I don't feel safe/comfortable with the situation. I said I would stay at the restaurant if he went, but that I would prefer he let the lady wait for her cab. He takes off. Half an hour later he comes back, says that even if the lady was a racist she needed help so he helped her.
5. I felt disrespected, he felt like he was doing the right thing.
EDIT: Clarifications...
1. I chose not to get in the car and to stay at the restaurant, fiance did not just up and leave me.
2. Fiance did not hear his cell phone ring, woman was hysterically talking/screaming the whole way.
RESOLUTION:
1. After fiance dropped the old woman off, she was distraught and told him not to go... he said he had to, and she went over to a family in a Benz, knocked on the window, and begged them for help. As my fiance was leaving, the man who was driving the Benz rolled down the window and said, "Just calm down, just calm down. Now, what can I do to help you get to Arizona?"
2. Fiance and I talked, he conceded some points as did I, and we agreed that in the future, we will consult each other to resolve things as a team, together.
My fiance and I went to eat lunch at a restaurant today. After we finished, as we went up to the front to pay a bill, there was a commotion involving waitresses, the manager and an elderly lady. The manager was telling the woman to please leave, and she was screaming, "ONLY AN INDIAN WOULD PUT AN OLD WOMAN OUT ON THE STREET! ONLY YOU INDIANS WOULD KICK AN OLD LADY OUT ON THE STREET!!"
I asked one of the waitresses what was going on, and she said, "This woman came in yesterday, and we took her in and gave her a free meal. She told a few different stories, and we're not sure she's completely there. We told her to call the police or to go elsewhere for help, but she convinced some people to take her and her bags somewhere. Those people came back later and warned us that she would ask for a place to stay, beg for money, ask to be driven to the airport or to another city, and that she was very mentally unstable. We would recommend staying away from her, she's been insulting our guests and now our manager with a lot of racial insults. If she doesn't get what she wants from someone, she'll use a racial slur towards that person. She's insulted "Arab towel-heads", "n******", etc."
I was nervous and told my fiance we had to go, but the homeless woman asked my fiance to help her carry her bags and drive her somewhere. My fiance always tries to be a gentleman, so he began carrying all her bags to our car. Honestly, I didn't not feel completely comfortable with the situation, and asked my fiance to please let her wait for her cab (the restaurant had called a cab for her) and for us to go. He ignored me, took the woman's bags to our car (my car), and drove away.
I was upset because:
1. My fiance blatantly disrespected me by leaving when I had asked him to please not leave... especially with a racist.
2. My fiance would have put me in danger had I gotten into the car as well (if the woman was mentally unstable, she could have had a knife, a gun, whatever... I was erring on the side of caution).
3. My fiance left me for almost half an hour, disappeard to god knows where, didn't pick up his cell phone and left me in the restaurant crying to a waitress.
He eventually came back, and his side of the story was that he just wanted to help a homeless woman, and despite everyone else telling him not to help, he did because he felt it was the right thing. He didn't feel he was in danger, and despite the fact she was a racist, he felt she needed help so he helped her.
Maybe I'm being irrational or over-emotional, but I really feel as if he shouldn't have gone. We just had an argument over it, and I guess I was curious about ATOT's opinion... please bear in mind I'm not adverse to helping out a homeless person or someone in need, but in this specific situation I didn't feel comfortable or safe about it.
Thoughts?
Cliff notes, as requested:
1. Crazy old racist lady in a restaurant, is hysterical calls the manager a "dirty Indian".
2. The restaurant had called a cab for her, but she asked my fiance to put her bags into my car and give her a ride somewhere.
3. I tell fiance not to go because I don't feel safe/comfortable with the situation. I said I would stay at the restaurant if he went, but that I would prefer he let the lady wait for her cab. He takes off. Half an hour later he comes back, says that even if the lady was a racist she needed help so he helped her.
5. I felt disrespected, he felt like he was doing the right thing.
EDIT: Clarifications...
1. I chose not to get in the car and to stay at the restaurant, fiance did not just up and leave me.
2. Fiance did not hear his cell phone ring, woman was hysterically talking/screaming the whole way.
RESOLUTION:
1. After fiance dropped the old woman off, she was distraught and told him not to go... he said he had to, and she went over to a family in a Benz, knocked on the window, and begged them for help. As my fiance was leaving, the man who was driving the Benz rolled down the window and said, "Just calm down, just calm down. Now, what can I do to help you get to Arizona?"
2. Fiance and I talked, he conceded some points as did I, and we agreed that in the future, we will consult each other to resolve things as a team, together.
Facebook
Twitter