My question is why do you care so much about what other people are doing with their personal lives? I agree it seems terrible when a kid is leeching off his parents at 25, but his parents raised him that way so they are only getting what they deserve.
iRONic
Diamond Member
- Jan 28, 2006
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Amen!! Check out time is 18.
My oldest starts college out of state this fall. I co-signed for her student loan. Her brother and stepsister are out in two years when they finish high school. They're aware of this and so far none of them think I'm an uncaring bastard.
It's time to find out if they can make it on their own. If they fail, I'd rather help them back up on their feet now, not when they're 30.
One point I haven't seen made...living at home instead of the dorms during college, especially the first couple of years, kills so much of the fun.
I lived at home between fresh and soph and didn't have a problem with that, but the rest of my college summers I went to Europe or had an internship. Coming home for more than a month after you're ~20 would be awkward.
I lived at home between fresh and soph and didn't have a problem with that, but the rest of my college summers I went to Europe or had an internship. Coming home for more than a month after you're ~20 would be awkward.
I live in the apt next to my parents. I'm using the kitchen as a storage place because my momma brings the food over to me from the other apt. She also pours my orange juice and picks up my laundry. I love my mom.
Just curious. How about if the kid doesn't want to go to college but rather get a job and live with you, pay rent, his portion of the bills, etc.... Would u still say no you're 18 you need to leave and be on your own now?
Circlenaut
Platinum Member
- Mar 22, 2001
- 2,175
- 5
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I'd live with my parents if they weren't retiring to brazil. Traditionally in brazil a man or women doesn't leave the house until they're married. My mom actually feels bad for leaving me before I get married. After my parents sell their house in florida they're paying all of my college bills. They already have 2 properties in brazil fully paid off and my mom will have her Brazillian Social security so she really doesn't NEED that money. She said she'd rather invest it in me then just let it sit. I think this is the reason kids stay with their parents. They're not so much "mooching" as they are preparing themselves for a better future in which the family name can be held higher. It's like starting a business. The more capital a person has the more oppertunity they have. So the more money a person has to start their lives then the better off they'll be. For some reason living with your parents is only shameful in the U.S. It's something perfectly normal pretty much everywhere else in the world.
Agreed.
I think it's because in America we tend to place SO much positive emphasis on indivuality that we then carry it over to individuation from the family seeing it as good and desirable. Other cultures are much more communal and therefore don't have this social characteristic.
STFU and stop worrying about what other people do with their lives. This has been posted so many times, and every thread is just a way to stroke the OP's ego.
Not everyone lives in an area that has very low living costs. If you live in any major metropolitian areas like NYC, LA, San fran, Chicago, Boston, it's incredibly hard to make enough to support yourself at a young age. You go to NYC at 21 years old and see how hard it is to support yourself without living in the south bronx.
There is also many cultures outside of the US that have a very different idea of when their children should leave the house. Not eveyone believes that once you turn 18 you should be kicked to the curb to fend for yourself. I suppose that's a trait of a very shallow American culture.
The scruffy old hardnosed "when you're 18, you're out" mentality BoomerD has is such a cliche generational gap misunderstanding. Back in thoes days it was so much easier for kid to leave the house and get a job at a factory or join the military. The manufacturing economy was booming and so was the military. It's very different today. BoomerD said he dropped out of high school and enlisted in the USMC, as far as I'm concerned you went from your parents being the providers to the government being the provider. The military gave you everything you needed and completely supported your life. As far as I'm concerned that's just another cop out way of saying "I'm not ready for the real business world yet, so I'm going to join the forces and allow the government to support me", I'm not saying that isn't commendable joining the forces, but that's hardly joining the "real world".
If you dropped out of high school in these current times and tried to go get a job, you would end up flipping burgers for minimum wage not even making enough money to pay rent on the sh!ttiest of living quarters. There are so few places that will hire a completely uneducated schmuck and pay them a decent living wage. It just doesn't happen anymore, the American economy is very different than it was 30+ years ago and most of that generation completely fails to comprehend that. Sure you can always join the military, as long as you don't get killed and are in the forces for life you should be fine. Though what happens if you leave the forces? Most likely you will leave with nominally more education (mabey you get your GED, oooo big accomplishment) than you went in with, and the job market will be even more demanding than when you went into the forces. Best scenario is that you obtain some sort of 4 year degree while in the forces, though that scenario represents the vast minority of thoes who have enlisted. Well, you're truely a MAN now, right?..
BoomerD, so you're formally uneducated and work as a union crane operator. You're probably close to twice as old as I am, but make just about the same amount. Does that make you a complete failure (or mabey just a very late bloomer), or does that make me a loser for having to do some bouncing back and forth with the parents? I think I'll go with my path of being a loser and being retired by the time I reach your age.
Not everyone lives in an area that has very low living costs. If you live in any major metropolitian areas like NYC, LA, San fran, Chicago, Boston, it's incredibly hard to make enough to support yourself at a young age. You go to NYC at 21 years old and see how hard it is to support yourself without living in the south bronx.
There is also many cultures outside of the US that have a very different idea of when their children should leave the house. Not eveyone believes that once you turn 18 you should be kicked to the curb to fend for yourself. I suppose that's a trait of a very shallow American culture.
The scruffy old hardnosed "when you're 18, you're out" mentality BoomerD has is such a cliche generational gap misunderstanding. Back in thoes days it was so much easier for kid to leave the house and get a job at a factory or join the military. The manufacturing economy was booming and so was the military. It's very different today. BoomerD said he dropped out of high school and enlisted in the USMC, as far as I'm concerned you went from your parents being the providers to the government being the provider. The military gave you everything you needed and completely supported your life. As far as I'm concerned that's just another cop out way of saying "I'm not ready for the real business world yet, so I'm going to join the forces and allow the government to support me", I'm not saying that isn't commendable joining the forces, but that's hardly joining the "real world".
If you dropped out of high school in these current times and tried to go get a job, you would end up flipping burgers for minimum wage not even making enough money to pay rent on the sh!ttiest of living quarters. There are so few places that will hire a completely uneducated schmuck and pay them a decent living wage. It just doesn't happen anymore, the American economy is very different than it was 30+ years ago and most of that generation completely fails to comprehend that. Sure you can always join the military, as long as you don't get killed and are in the forces for life you should be fine. Though what happens if you leave the forces? Most likely you will leave with nominally more education (mabey you get your GED, oooo big accomplishment) than you went in with, and the job market will be even more demanding than when you went into the forces. Best scenario is that you obtain some sort of 4 year degree while in the forces, though that scenario represents the vast minority of thoes who have enlisted. Well, you're truely a MAN now, right?..
BoomerD, so you're formally uneducated and work as a union crane operator. You're probably close to twice as old as I am, but make just about the same amount. Does that make you a complete failure (or mabey just a very late bloomer), or does that make me a loser for having to do some bouncing back and forth with the parents? I think I'll go with my path of being a loser and being retired by the time I reach your age.
sygyzy
Lifer
- Oct 21, 2000
- 14,001
- 4
- 76
SampSon - The problem with your rant is that you are giving all these spectacular examples that are the exception rather than the rule. Most adults that live at home never meet any of those requirements. And for every person that you feel sorry for and think they have it tough because they *gasp* have to work and pay rent, there are others who are doing it on a daily basis.
Living at home with your parents is not mooching or stealing. Sounds like there is a lot of jealous people in this thread. Boo hoo hoo you should move out at 18 because I had too, boo hoo hoo live isn't fair. Get over it. If I had a job closer to home I would consider living there to build up some savings. Because bills split between 3 people is easier than split between 2. My parents would actually save money every month if I moved in. HOw is that mooching.
If my parents didn't want me I guess that would be a different story, it seems there are a lot of people in this thread who really want to distance themselves from their children. Moving out has nothing to do with how successful you are in life. "uh oh johnny still lives at home and he's 19, he must be a spoiled little brat"
If my parents didn't want me I guess that would be a different story, it seems there are a lot of people in this thread who really want to distance themselves from their children. Moving out has nothing to do with how successful you are in life. "uh oh johnny still lives at home and he's 19, he must be a spoiled little brat"
Wow the Ego is strong in some these posters.. "Oh look @ me, I moved out @ 18. My E-penis is HUGE!!!!"
Seriously, this is one point where I agreed with my mom. US's view on parenting is completely f*cked up. Coming from asian perspective, it's the norm for the parents to support and help (to a degree) their kids until they have their own family and house. In return, the kids are expected to support their parents when they're old. I guess I come from family-orientated culture, so outlook is might be different.
Your argument makes no sense BoomerD. Why is it "mooching"? If the parent had been supporting the kid for past 18 years and had good relationship with them, why not extend it a bit, so the kid has a brighter start? If they're unemployed and not pursuing college, then you can say they're mooching, but not everyone is. Your view on raising kids is screwy at best. You treat parenting as some form of prison sentence or eternal burden.
Wow.. how romantic, joining Marines for a FREAKING SONG. Yup, okay, that's really great for you. So how does that pertain to the topic at hand? It doesn't. Thanks for your great personal story though, too bad the marine recruiter who kept annoying me couldn't find someone like you to fill his numbers.
Back on topic, why the hell would you dump your kid in the deep-end so he can learn to swim. Are you retarded?! You're going to end up going in to save the kid anyway. Really.. that's stupidest argument ever. To learn to swim, sane people usually start from kiddie pool or had someone/something help them float. Just like in real-life. You don't drop off your kid at a street corner @ 18 and say to him "Ok, you're on your own". If the kid wants to go schooling, you try your best to see support him. If kid wants a job, you try your best to let it be easier for him, so he doesn't have to blow most of his paycheck to rent & utility. People will experience PLENTY of hardship as life goes, as a parent you should try to slowly "ween" the kid into life. If you've treated your kids well, they'll treat you back the same way when you need them later in life.
Seriously, you sound like you've had tough time in life and doesn't like the fact that others had better times than you. Jealousy perhaps?
Seriously, this is one point where I agreed with my mom. US's view on parenting is completely f*cked up. Coming from asian perspective, it's the norm for the parents to support and help (to a degree) their kids until they have their own family and house. In return, the kids are expected to support their parents when they're old. I guess I come from family-orientated culture, so outlook is might be different.
Your argument makes no sense BoomerD. Why is it "mooching"? If the parent had been supporting the kid for past 18 years and had good relationship with them, why not extend it a bit, so the kid has a brighter start? If they're unemployed and not pursuing college, then you can say they're mooching, but not everyone is. Your view on raising kids is screwy at best. You treat parenting as some form of prison sentence or eternal burden.
Wow.. how romantic, joining Marines for a FREAKING SONG. Yup, okay, that's really great for you. So how does that pertain to the topic at hand? It doesn't. Thanks for your great personal story though, too bad the marine recruiter who kept annoying me couldn't find someone like you to fill his numbers.
Back on topic, why the hell would you dump your kid in the deep-end so he can learn to swim. Are you retarded?! You're going to end up going in to save the kid anyway. Really.. that's stupidest argument ever. To learn to swim, sane people usually start from kiddie pool or had someone/something help them float. Just like in real-life. You don't drop off your kid at a street corner @ 18 and say to him "Ok, you're on your own". If the kid wants to go schooling, you try your best to see support him. If kid wants a job, you try your best to let it be easier for him, so he doesn't have to blow most of his paycheck to rent & utility. People will experience PLENTY of hardship as life goes, as a parent you should try to slowly "ween" the kid into life. If you've treated your kids well, they'll treat you back the same way when you need them later in life.
Seriously, you sound like you've had tough time in life and doesn't like the fact that others had better times than you. Jealousy perhaps?
I lived with my parents until I was 18, they moved and I moved in with my grandparents and lived there for 2 years. I have been saving money so my fiance and I can buy a house when we get married.
I wasn't ranting. Just pointing out how much of a typical low brow, blue collar fool BoomerD comes off as.
Also what "spectacular examples" are you speaking of in my post? Care to point them out instead of generlizing my entire post by beating around the bush?
If you are speaking about people living in metropolitan areas, they are hardly exceptions. People who drop out of school and try to live on uneducated workers wages are hardly an exception. Thoes who join up in the military, the examples I cited are hardly an exception. So what exactly are you talking about? It seems you are implying that college educated 20-somethings living at home while making much more than a decent living wage are the rule. I think you are mistaken.
I don't feel sorry for anybody, I'm not sure how you even begin to gather that from my post. I am just pointing out different situations people live in that result in longer living terms with the parents than the ridiculous "accepted social norms" of this society. Actually if the way you view it is the "rule" then the accepted social norm is now living with the parental units much longer than in the past. I really don't feel sorry for anybody, I'm rather coldhearted in that sense. So what exactly is your point?
As for thoes who work and pay rent on a daily basis, good for them, that's called life. Eventually it happens to the vast majority of American adults. So I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to get at in your post, or why you're being condescending. Though thanks for playing.
iRONic
Diamond Member
- Jan 28, 2006
- 8,417
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Yep. Our kids have known for years that we're starting semi-retirement after they get out of high school. We're going to Arizona for the winter months and back here for the summers until we fully retire.
The younger two kids(16 and 17) know they aren't going to college. They also know that they won't survive in a way they're accustomed to living by flipping burgers at Mickey D's. They are working towards careers. My son as a welder, his stepsister in the nursing/CNA field.
Neither my wife or me have college educations. I'm a self-employed lisenced A & P technician/aviation consultant and my wife is a developer. Our kids see our success came from hard work. They have never been without anything they've wanted but we haven't just given it to them. They worked for their ipods, airsoft guns, cars, big toys, etc. In doing so they learned how to get stuff. How to be successful.
We've always made them try to understand that the biggest gift we can give them are the tools to be self sufficient. At this point we're fairly sure they will be successful.
I am 36 years old and have lived at home my whole life. I have been sick for the past 10 years or so. I took care of my mother when she was real sick only to have her pass away a couple years later. The death of my mother made it hard for me and when my dad got sick I just couldn't help him the way I wanted to. Like I said I have lived at home my whole life and my life has been hard. I stopped drinking when I was 19 (until the past 9 months), never have done drugs and tried to be a good son to my parents. I can't help the illnesses that I have had, but I am forever grateful to my parents for trying to do what they could to help me. I miss my parents so much and wish they were still alive, even if they were sick. Now I have no one. I did help my parents to the best of my ability. They also helped me some. Love is a very precious thing. I wish I had someone in my life that loved me like my parents did. You can call me whatever you want, but it doesn't change the fact of what I was able to share with my parents up until they died.
Perry
Perry
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