Discussion Who all here are against Trans rights in restrooms and showers? I have a question.

[Jaskalas]

Maybe these areas should be neutral with stalls.
That way no one has to deal with it.

 

[Leeea]

I find public bathrooms to be completely terrifying. I do everything in my power to avoid them.


Most likely to be outed by a 12 year old girl. Always awkward.


Have not stepped foot in a locker room in over two decades.


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Statistically, there is a 1 in 2 chance I will eventually be assaulted in a public bathroom, and then a 1 in 5 chance I will be assaulted a second time by the police if they are called.


The paranoia is justified, the monsters are real.

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

Are communal changing rooms still a thing? Every leisure centre I've been to has a load of cubicles for people that's not gendered. How are you supposed to get your kids changed if they have to use a different changing room?

I really think there's an opportunity for discussion regarding (American, at least) changing rooms for middle/high schoolers being open bays, with the only access being from 1-4 adults. Always found that shit weird as hell. Not necessarily less weird as an adult, but man, as an adolescent?

 

[eelw]

It was a rough period. I had been experiencing depression for several months. It honestly felt like I was wearing chains and walking through molasses. Every step and movement is exhausting and just making it worse. I'm religious and I was trying the concept of just being "androgynous." It wasn't working at all. It felt like I was stuck between a rock and hard-place. I was literally making checklists in my head of the do's and do not's. I could do this, but can't do that. It broke me.

If I may ask, but how does your religious faith overlook the intolerance spewed by the church? Like we haven’t seen the Nashville shooter manifesto but one can bet it will say they resented the gay hate taught by the church. We have red states trying to censor what they consider woke but fail to see it’s their religious teaches that potentially is doing more harm than good.

 

[HomerJS]

I find public bathrooms to be completely terrifying. I do everything in my power to avoid them.


Most likely to be outed by a 12 year old girl. Always awkward.


Have not stepped foot in a locker room in over two decades.


-----------------------------------------------------

Statistically, there is a 1 in 2 chance I will eventually be assaulted in a public bathroom, and then a 1 in 5 chance I will be assaulted a second time by the police if they are called.


The paranoia is justified, the monsters are real.

I hate public bathrooms for sanitary reasons. Have a bit of a phobia

 

[Pens1566]

I'm going to get a little personal. It's almost transgender day of visibility and I think sharing some of the dilemmas we face hopefully will help others understand a bit better.

I am transgender and I have intersex genetics. I have a mutated FGFR1 gene that is the likely culprit of my existence with gender dysphoria. This gene is part of sexual differentiation. While I was born with male anatomy, I have always had gender dysphoria. For decades I resisted and fought the feelings, but realized it was a losing battle when I almost took my life about a year ago. I have been on hormones and various antidepressants since about 2014.

I work as a physician and I see hundreds of people a week. Most gender people gender me correctly, even the ones who don't know me. I have been asked out on dates and even had a patient ask me to flash him. I feel based on these experiences, I do a pretty reasonable job of "passing."

I'm not worried about the bathroom. I do fear the locker room. I definitely don't want to go into the men's locker because, well, I have breasts. I also face a dilemma of going into the woman's locker room because I know where I come from and been. I was assigned male at birth and I hated locker room to begin with. I also live in a relatively conservative part of the country with Northern Idaho right next door. The situation sucks because all it takes is one bozo to target me and I can be assaulted or worse.

About 4 years ago, I started having rediculously severe testicular pain to the point of constantly being curled into a pain ball on the ground. For those with the anatomy, imagine being kicked in the area multiple times a day, every day for months. Obviously, they are now gone. I am also in the midst of talking to a surgeon for further surgical interventions.

I have the privilege of having intersex genetics. I can point to a gene and say "see" there it is. I spent $1500 to find that out. I also have other physical traits which confirm this. A lot of other transgender individuals don't have that luxury. So, what do I do? Live as a male? I tried that. It almost took my life. Live as a female? I can tell you beyond every reasonably doubt that transitioning has saved my life. I am happier and more fulfilled. I see it, my family sees it, my community see it.

I have personally seen a transgender patient who was being sex trafficked. I have seen transgender individuals attacked. Just for being, just for their being alive.

As you can see, I am an open book. I have no problems answering deep or very personal questions and to be honest, I welcome honest questions. I would rather have someone with a sincere question have it answered by me than to get it from a questionable source.

Please comment, please PM me. My only request is to please be civil.

Thank you for sharing this. I hope it reaches some here and helps to educate them. Stay strong.

 

[Zorba]

Are communal changing rooms still a thing? Every leisure centre I've been to has a load of cubicles for people that's not gendered. How are you supposed to get your kids changed if they have to use a different changing room?

Every newish gym I've been to has a Men's, Woman's, and a family. Some ban all kids in the adult ones and some just ban opposite sex kids in the adult ones. In the adult ones, changing is in the open but the showers are private.

Old gyms don't have the family areas and some still have community showers. I think those are quickly going away though.

ETA: Even water parks are similar, change in the open, private shower. I'd take my daughter in with me until she was 5, then I'd send her to the woman's and wait for her.

 

[Zorba]

In Europe they have unisex bathrooms. We can switch to those and have all stalls.

The Everett Washington airport has nothing but single hole unisex bathrooms and it sucks donkey balls.

 

[K1052]

The Everett Washington airport has nothing but single hole unisex bathrooms and it sucks donkey balls.

I'd encountered a few places lately that have separate urinal rooms next to the room with the unisex toilet rooms. Seems to work pretty well and relives the pressure on the stalls. Relatedly having a lot more stalls is more fair to women I think who often have to wait in ridiculous lines just to pee.

 

[coldmeat]

It's all manufactured to keep you arguing and to get the left to come out and champion for drag queens and trans people, two issues most people don't really care about while their livelihoods are slowly dwindling away.

 

[Zorba]

I'd encountered a few places lately that have separate urinal rooms next to the room with the unisex toilet rooms. Seems to work pretty well and relives the pressure on the stalls. Relatedly having a lot more stalls is more fair to women I think who often have to wait in ridiculous lines just to pee.

Yeah, that'd be fine the issue in Everett is that they are all private bathrooms, so they take forever to turn over.

 

[kitkat22]

If I may ask, but how does your religious faith overlook the intolerance spewed by the church? Like we haven’t seen the Nashville shooter manifesto but one can bet it will say they resented the gay hate taught by the church. We have red states trying to censor what they consider woke but fail to see it’s their religious teaches that potentially is doing more harm than good.

I've blown a few minds by saying this, but I am Mormon. What I have seen is a slow evolution of Christian based religions. There are many people and churches willing to love others who are different. I have been surprised by many who I thought would have given me a hard time. They haven't given me a hard time and to my surprise have reached out with kindness and support. In my congregation I am fully supported by my our woman's group and our leadership. I actually had a meeting with our Stake President just a few days ago to work on arranging a presentation on how to love and interact with LGBTQ individuals. I also had a zoom conference presentation where a higher level leader in our church participated and closed the meeting with a prayer.

I suspect a lot of these positive interactions are primarily from my approach. My personality tends to be very calming. Sadly, I have seen other people in other congregations have a completely opposite experience. These tend to be in more conservative areas. There is one person who tends to be very vocal and likes to ruffle feathers that, I believe, has caused more harm than good. To no surprise, her leaders have been very restrictive. There are others who unfortunately have faced similar experiences by no fault of their own.

The LDS church has put out a "Life Help" section on their website - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org...duals/lifes-challenges/hope-and-help?lang=eng. For a conservative religious group, this is impressively progressive. The challenge I see is getting the basics communicated to the people who go and evolving the culture. This is one of the biggest reasons why I stay and push to stay. I want the culture to change.

Interestingly, there is scriptures in the Bible supports individuals who are intersex or transgender. Isaiah 56 and Matthew 19 are the two that come to mind. In these cases, they refer to eunuchs, however, from my study, the term "eunuch" needs to be broader. The Bible scholars need to reevaluate their prior interpretations.

For me, I am loved by God. I am privileged to be able to point to an intersex gene for my case which gives me backing to push back against rhetoric. The Isaiah 56 puts it very nicely. Keep the commandments and there is a place for everyone. My favorite is when people try to pull Deut 22:5 out on me. First, they're my clothes and I'm a woman. I'm not crossdressing.

From my perspective, we are at a start. It's going to take long time to evolve a deep set culture. I want to help evolve that culture. It takes a lot of patience and time. The fact I am having discourses with leaders and being heard and respected is a very good start.

 

[iRONic]

I'm a transgender woman and I have used the women's restroom with no issues from anyone. I'm not a "dude" as you put it. I also don't look like a "dude." I go in, do my business and get out. Just an FYI, throwing fist would be considered assault.

I’m a straight white man in a fucking wheelchair. My wife and I march straight into the woman's bathroom if we can't find a family bathroom in the facility we’re visiting. She’d probably get some looks if we did that in the men's room!

 

[iRONic]

I'm gonna leave this right here. I've debated whether to post it for months. This is my first-born child and proudest thing I’ve ever done. They identify as Two-Spirit trans and transitioned as an adult.

"My Story Is One of Many": The Criminalization of Testosterone HRT

FOLX contributor Stann Fransisco (hey/hem/hez) recounts hez experience with being criminalized and jailed for traveling in the rural South with hez testosterone HRT prescription.

folxhealth.com

 

[nakedfrog]

I don't pass particularly well as a woman most of the time, but no one in the last two years has expressed a concern with me being in the women's restroom. I have opted to use the men's room at an interstate rest stop because I thought maybe that would be safer, no idea what kind of nutjobs I'll encounter at a rest stop--and I don't know which one is actually safer for me in those instances, honestly.

I don't think we even need to. Women's bathrooms are already all stalls. Mens have urinals but a trans male isn't going to use them, and anyway, men don't care that much about that stuff.

Some trans men can and do, FYI.

I've blown a few minds by saying this, but I am Mormon. What I have seen is a slow evolution of Christian based religions. There are many people and churches willing to love others who are different. I have been surprised by many who I thought would have given me a hard time. They haven't given me a hard time and to my surprise have reached out with kindness and support. In my congregation I am fully supported by my our woman's group and our leadership. I actually had a meeting with our Stake President just a few days ago to work on arranging a presentation on how to love and interact with LGBTQ individuals. I also had a zoom conference presentation where a higher level leader in our church participated and closed the meeting with a prayer.

I suspect a lot of these positive interactions are primarily from my approach. My personality tends to be very calming. Sadly, I have seen other people in other congregations have a completely opposite experience. These tend to be in more conservative areas. There is one person who tends to be very vocal and likes to ruffle feathers that, I believe, has caused more harm than good. To no surprise, her leaders have been very restrictive. There are others who unfortunately have faced similar experiences by no fault of their own.

The LDS church has put out a "Life Help" section on their website - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org...duals/lifes-challenges/hope-and-help?lang=eng. For a conservative religious group, this is impressively progressive. The challenge I see is getting the basics communicated to the people who go and evolving the culture. This is one of the biggest reasons why I stay and push to stay. I want the culture to change.

Interestingly, there is scriptures in the Bible supports individuals who are intersex or transgender. Isaiah 56 and Matthew 19 are the two that come to mind. In these cases, they refer to eunuchs, however, from my study, the term "eunuch" needs to be broader. The Bible scholars need to reevaluate their prior interpretations.

For me, I am loved by God. I am privileged to be able to point to an intersex gene for my case which gives me backing to push back against rhetoric. The Isaiah 56 puts it very nicely. Keep the commandments and there is a place for everyone. My favorite is when people try to pull Deut 22:5 out on me. First, they're my clothes and I'm a woman. I'm not crossdressing.

From my perspective, we are at a start. It's going to take long time to evolve a deep set culture. I want to help evolve that culture. It takes a lot of patience and time. The fact I am having discourses with leaders and being heard and respected is a very good start.

One of my friends from high school is a Mormon, and has been nothing but supportive of me She's had a little bit of a crisis of faith in the last few years trying to square up the love of God & Jesus with the way the church has behaved in the past, and is still a believer.

 

[Pohemi]

I'm gonna leave this right here. I've debated whether to post it for months. This is my first-born child and proudest thing I’ve ever done. They identify as Two-Spirit trans and transitioned as an adult.

"My Story Is One of Many": The Criminalization of Testosterone HRT

FOLX contributor Stann Fransisco (hey/hem/hez) recounts hez experience with being criminalized and jailed for traveling in the rural South with hez testosterone HRT prescription.

folxhealth.com

Were they ever actually arrested or charged with anything? I'd contact a lawyer about unlawful detention, though I'm sure that already crossed their mind. DoJ might look into it...maybe not, but there's a chance. This is exactly the kind of behavior by LEOs that needs to be brought to light.

 

[nakedfrog]

I'm gonna leave this right here. I've debated whether to post it for months. This is my first-born child and proudest thing I’ve ever done. They identify as Two-Spirit trans and transitioned as an adult.

"My Story Is One of Many": The Criminalization of Testosterone HRT

FOLX contributor Stann Fransisco (hey/hem/hez) recounts hez experience with being criminalized and jailed for traveling in the rural South with hez testosterone HRT prescription.

folxhealth.com

Thanks to you, and your kid for sharing. And this is one of the stories with a "good" ending

 

[iRONic]

Were they ever actually arrested or charged with anything? I'd contact a lawyer about unlawful detention, though I'm sure that already crossed their mind. DoJ might look into it...maybe not, but there's a chance. This is exactly the kind of behavior by LEOs that needs to be brought to light.

Nope, neither one. The bail bondsman I contacted during this crisis was the most helpful. Straight up told me that's how the shithole burg is funding the police force.

The pandemic turned out to be what kept them from having to go back and deal with these assholes. They did not want even more trauma over the situation.

 

[Lanyap]

There is a valid reason why women don't want men in their public restrooms. Men let out big stinky wet farts when they pee. They also fart alot when they poop and wait a long time until they flush. When women fart they toot so you barely hear it. When they poop you can't smell it because they flush immediately.


This actually reminds me of a funny personal story. I was at work and had to go to the restroom. I must have eaten something really bad because I majorly stunk up the bathroom. Couple of guys walk in the restroom and one said "dude, courtesy flush please!"

 

[MrSquished]

They should just make special bathrooms for Trump Voters - just a row of litterboxes for both women and men.

Leave the regular bathrooms to all decent folk.

 

[nakedfrog]

There is a valid reason why women don't want men in their public restrooms. Men let out big stinky wet farts when they pee. They also fart alot when they poop and wait a long time until they flush. When women fart they toot so you barely hear it. When they poop you can't smell it because they flush immediately.


This actually reminds me of a funny personal story. I was at work and had to go to the restroom. I must have eaten something really bad because I majorly stunk up the bathroom. Couple of guys walk in the restroom and one said "dude, courtesy flush please!"

LOL
Women do fart, believe it or not. How much time have you spent pooping in a public women's restroom?
I've had some jobs that involve cleaning restrooms, and the most horrifying stench I ever encountered was in the women's restroom.
Also... trans women are not men.

 

[shortylickens]

There is a valid reason why women don't want men in their public restrooms. Men let out big stinky wet farts when they pee. They also fart alot when they poop and wait a long time until they flush. When women fart they toot so you barely hear it. When they poop you can't smell it because they flush immediately.

"That has got to be the most ridiculous load of pig crap I have ever seen!"​

 

[Oyeve]

I only have a problem with trans in sport. I couldn't care less if they piss and poo in the same room as me.

 

[Pohemi]

I only have a problem with trans in sport. I couldn't care less if they piss and poo in the same room as me.

And that is just as ignorant.

 

[Oyeve]

And that is just as ignorant.

Why?