Whipped men in relationships.

[geckojohn]

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Redhotjrm

Originally posted by: fivespeed5 balance is key.. let not assume that he spends all his time with her.

Thanks fivespeed. People are ASSUMING that I spend ALL of my time with her. As I've previously mentioned, we both have friends, some mutual, some not, and we spend time apart and with friends. The point of my thread is this: I think that some guys are so afraid of the thought of being "whipped" that if at any time their "friends" needed a favor or needed something, they always come before their soulmate/wife/etc. This need not apply to someone who has is dating a girl or something else, I'm talking about a serious relationship. I'm man enough to ask my friends to call me later or do something else if it is MY time with girlfriend. Most friends come and go, some stay forever, and those who are in it for the haul long are not bothered with the fact that some times I need to spend time with my girl.

'My babe and I truly love each other and there are certain things, based on the typical male view of being whipped, that would cause me to appear to be 'whipped'.' By your quote on the intitial post you to are afraid of beign labeled whipped..admit that you are in fact whipped by our standards if you have such strong convictions If i recall correctly in your porn thread you stated u used to enjoy it and in fact do not now because you are with her... your tone and your posts are eerily similar to a convert in any religion...'you have seen the light' your post so far are preachings from the 'good book of loving relationships' sermons on the life of a true pious and porn free man that has shunned and cast aside the flesh pictures. that is why so many are attacking u. You my freind are in for a slap in the face when reality hits home.....i hope she doesnt dump u or worse dump you because your too nice of a guy.....because of your dependance on her you will take a very long time to recover. i have seen it before...so anyhoos admit your 'whipped' it that doesnt bother u as u state in your reply

EXACTLY - you hit it perfectly and pwnd him!

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: Redhotjrm
In response to my "Porn sucks" thread, I'd like to follow up with another thread that will most likely hit deep in the hearts of many.

Here is my view of my relationship: (Caution: I am not forcing any views, I am simply proposing the idea of a man/woman role in relationships.)
My babe and I truly love each other and there are certain things, based on the typical male view of being whipped, that would cause me to appear to be 'whipped'.

I am very courteous and mannery with her... I always open her car door when we go anywhere (grocery store) and then open the door into the place we're going to. She usually orders her own meal, but when we go somewhere and she eats the "regular" I'll order for her and she doesn't mind that.

Now, to the meat: Here is a scenario. My fiancee and I are watching a movie. Since we both work and go to school, time together is sparse and we like to spend it together. I had a friend show up during the movie, he lives about 20 mins away and I kindly asked him to go home because I was spending time with my girlfriend... and he did, no biggy.

I don't ever get on the computer when she is around and she would never do something like that with me around. I feel that I can get on the computer when she leaves late... she is the priority in my life (along with work, school, etc) so why should I choose getting on a computer over her when she is around?

And besides that, as I mentioned in the "Porn sucks." thread, we don't feel watching other people have sex is enjoyable or makes our relationship better in anyway. We have our time apart and with friends, but she is my partner for life, my best friend, lover, etc. and she will always be number one.

Sounds like you two are making efforts to support and grow your relationship.

Good luck.

 

[geckojohn]

yeah

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: Redhotjrm


And besides that, as I mentioned in the "Porn sucks." thread, we don't feel watching other people have sex is enjoyable or makes our relationship better in anyway. We have our time apart and with friends, but she is my partner for life, my best friend, lover, etc. and she will always be number one.

what's most disconcerting and , perhaps, most telling, is your need to proselytize.


Here, swallow this. My wife and I don't often but do occasionally watch porn together and enjoy it. I enjoy it, she enjoys it. we both enjoy teh pr0n. Got it?

That in no way makes our relationship less important, or ourselves less important than you or yours. OK?

Your posts have been phrased as position statements, but the tone comes off as pedantic, one can't help but feel as though you're comparing yourself to your perception of others and finding yourself better.

~~edit after finishing thread.

essentially I agree with boogieman

 

[Ferocious]

You are freakin WEIRD dude.

She's gonna screw around on you real soon when she comes across a rugged man.

A woman don't want a wimp all the time.

 

[ThaGrandCow]

Originally posted by: Redhotjrm
In response to my "Porn sucks" thread, I'd like to follow up with another thread that will most likely hit deep in the hearts of many.

Here is my view of my relationship: (Caution: I am not forcing any views, I am simply proposing the idea of a man/woman role in relationships.)
My babe and I truly love each other and there are certain things, based on the typical male view of being whipped, that would cause me to appear to be 'whipped'.

I am very courteous and mannery with her... I always open her car door when we go anywhere (grocery store) and then open the door into the place we're going to. She usually orders her own meal, but when we go somewhere and she eats the "regular" I'll order for her and she doesn't mind that.

Now, to the meat: Here is a scenario. My fiancee and I are watching a movie. Since we both work and go to school, time together is sparse and we like to spend it together. I had a friend show up during the movie, he lives about 20 mins away and I kindly asked him to go home because I was spending time with my girlfriend... and he did, no biggy.

I don't ever get on the computer when she is around and she would never do something like that with me around. I feel that I can get on the computer when she leaves late... she is the priority in my life (along with work, school, etc) so why should I choose getting on a computer over her when she is around?

And besides that, as I mentioned in the "Porn sucks." thread, we don't feel watching other people have sex is enjoyable or makes our relationship better in anyway. We have our time apart and with friends, but she is my partner for life, my best friend, lover, etc. and she will always be number one.

I'm not going to say that you are whipped, because from your initial post (I haven't read the rest) it just seems like you are devoting 100% to her. In some peoples eyes that may be whipped but I don't get that impression. What I am seeing is that you are just spending ALL of your time with her.

You need to remember that in a healthy relationship, couples spend time with other people too. Give her time to go out with the girls, give yourself time to head out with the guys. Also, it's important for the both of you to spend time with each others friends. Go on a double date with your friend and his girlfriend or vice versa. Head out to a public event as a group of friends (both yours and hers) and actually separate for periods of time.

In a good relationship, spending some time apart gives you stuff to talk about: "You wouldn't believe what John did!!!" or "Melissa did this!!!" If you spend 100% of your time together you're asking to ostracize your friends and lose what you already had. In the short term you may think that spending every free second with your girl is a good thing, but in the end it will lead to many times where you just resent each other for making you lose your friends and her lose her friends.

In summary: What you're doing now may seem good, but in the end doing things like asking your friend to leave will hurt you. What was the harm in letting him spend time with you and your woman? If he's a good friend he'll leave when it's "that time" and he gets the hint, but in the meantime, don't send him away. He may think it's cool this time, but next time he'll think "hey, he's with her, maybe I shouldn't even call/show up/send an IM.

Don't ignore your friends... you'll regret it later.

 

[Ronstang]

You're not only whipped, you are and insensitive rude jerk......except where your master is concerned. She will eventually screw you over and you will more than likey have a breakdown considering you are codependent. Good luck.....you will need every drop of it.

 

[Xenon14]

All of you are misusing the word "whipped." So long as he wants to do those things, he's not whipped. Whipped is having someone do a certain action against his will.

Edit: My comment is objective... I'm not stating whether or not I agree with his actions, I am merely pointing out something that urked me within this post.

 

[Eli]

My girlfriend is laying right next to me. She doesen't care if I'm on the computer, as long as it doesen't encroach on our personal time, which it does not.

 

[Chrono]

Some thoughts. Who determines how much time you should spend with your significant other? Whether it's 1 hour a day or 4+ hours a day, who defines how much is too much? Why label a person as being pussy whipped? I really don't get it. When I think about it, who decides what and how we do things? We do. So now I ask who determines that a person is pussy whipped? What if this guy was a really family oriented guy and wanted to hang with his brother instead and talk or watch a movie? If his friend came over and told him "hey dude, I'm gonna spend some catch-up time with my bro that i haven't seen lately. So, call you later man," what would he be labeled now?
ASShole family guy? ok now. Now, what if the dude hung around his friend most of the time and neglected his family. WTF would you call him now?

 

[Chrono]

Here's a simpler question. Maybe some of you can enlighten me on this. Who determines these "pussy whipped" standards and why should EVERYBODY follow them? Maybe he likes being with his girlfriend all the time while some of you would rather be with your friends instead? Isn't it preference?

Now aren't there bigger issues? WTF cares about how much time he spends with his girlfriend anyway? It's his time, right? Doesn't he have a choice to use it accordingly to how he wants to spend it? I don't see why how he spends his time is a big concern for all of you to label him as being pussy whipped. Many of you who don't have g/f's but enjoy playing MMORPG's. I ask you this, why the hell do you spend all your time on a video game when you can be doing other things that are so much more productive? WTF do you guys spend countless hours surfing these forums? I personally don't give a crap about what you guys do with your lives, so stfu about his life. You guys can masturbate all day, play evercrack, dance with gay dudes, I simply don't care. I know a lot of you other people don't care as well. One more thing, so what if he blew his friend away? Who told his friend to come over unannounced anyway? If I was doing something with somebody already and someone showed up unannounced, I would be annoyed by that. But of course you all don't care wtf I think. So now it's my turn to stfu.

 

[imported_Papi]

how bout you people fight over it and Ill watch.

 

[KGB1]

Your sound like an introverted morman goody two shoes. I swear only American's and Arab's have this kind of attitude. Ever been out of the man? I'll tell you in Asia, Europe, Australia, South America they don't have an attitude towards life like you do. My god man loosen up, you are not holier than thou and you don't need to "clear" the air about how your relationship is and such...

 

[boyRacer]

Originally posted by: Chrono
Here's a simpler question. Maybe some of you can enlighten me on this. Who determines these "pussy whipped" standards and why should EVERYBODY follow them? Maybe he likes being with his girlfriend all the time while some of you would rather be with your friends instead? Isn't it preference?

Now aren't there bigger issues? WTF cares about how much time he spends with his girlfriend anyway? It's his time, right? Doesn't he have a choice to use it accordingly to how he wants to spend it? I don't see why how he spends his time is a big concern for all of you to label him as being pussy whipped. Many of you who don't have g/f's but enjoy playing MMORPG's. I ask you this, why the hell do you spend all your time on a video game when you can be doing other things that are so much more productive? WTF do you guys spend countless hours surfing these forums? I personally don't give a crap about what you guys do with your lives, so stfu about his life. You guys can masturbate all day, play evercrack, dance with gay dudes, I simply don't care. I know a lot of you other people don't care as well. One more thing, so what if he blew his friend away? Who told his friend to come over unannounced anyway? If I was doing something with somebody already and someone showed up unannounced, I would be annoyed by that. But of course you all don't care wtf I think. So now it's my turn to stfu.

i don't care what he does with his life... i just gave my opinion in the very 2nd post of this thread... and he gave his opinion beforehand. its a public forum and i also care less what the you guys do with your free time but when you start a thread and tell us what you do with it... of course people will give feedback on it... some of them you won't like... some you will. no one ever told him to listen to whatever suggestions he is being given... and look... he isnt. i think that's how this thing works.

 

[Tinkerhell]

I think its nice that you have respect for your fiance and that you two love spending so much time together.

 

[Lonyo]

I'm reminded of Ned Flanders.

Dude, honestly I think its fine to have your life like it is, but, man, I'm feeling just "grr".

Get over yourself.

 

[clamum]

My friends all think I'm whipped but I really enjoy hanging out with her. A lot more than I do hanging out with them. I could give a fvck less what others think about our relationship.

 

[guapo337]

Congrats. Do we care?

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: guapo337
Congrats. Do we care?

What is your problem?

 

[Chrono]

Well, I'm glad a lot of you agree with me. Who the F*ck cares about what you do with your own life right? Ok, now back to other funny, yet, strange topics.