Where to get medical help for a teen?

[thecoolnessrune]

I know a girl who is 14 years old, she's 5'2" About 6 months ago she decided to be a vegetarian. I disagreed with it, but set it up so that she could responsible about it. Let's just say she hasn't. She doesn't eat enough, and takes caffeine pills. Fast forward to now. She's 109 lbs. which I understand is in BMI range but her rips are completely visible. She's starting to have pains in her sides and her hips. Additionally, she almost never eats anymore, and pukes constantly anytime she takes a bite of anything. I'm really worried for her, but her father doesn't give two shits about her condition. She won't go to a hospital because she's worried her father will get really mad at her. She doesn't know where to seek counseling but I'm afraid it's almost past the point of using counseling to help.

How can I reverse this path of destruction she's on?

 

[BigJ]

School guidance counselor.

 

[BoomerD]

Why is this any of your business? You said:

I disagreed with it, but set it up so that she could responsible about it.

What is your involvment?
Contacting her parents would be a good next move. They're the only ones who have any legal say in her medical treatment without getting some kind of court order.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Why is this any of your business? You said:

I disagreed with it, but set it up so that she could responsible about it.

What is your involvment?
Contacting her parents would be a good next move. They're the only ones who have any legal say in her medical treatment without getting some kind of court order.

My involvement is strictly her friend. Her mother is in jail, and her father.. Well as I said, she refuses to talk to him cause she's worried about his reaction. Since the mother's in jail, I can't say I trust the father any better..

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Why is this any of your business? You said:

I disagreed with it, but set it up so that she could responsible about it.

What is your involvment?
Contacting her parents would be a good next move. They're the only ones who have any legal say in her medical treatment without getting some kind of court order.

My involvement is strictly her friend. Her mother is in jail, and her father.. Well as I said, she refuses to talk to him cause she's worried about his reaction. Since the mother's in jail, I can't say I trust the father any better..

OK, then a school counselor may be the only/best hope, but it may be a waste of time. IF she's already made up her mind to do this, no one is likely to change her mind.

 

[Epic Fail]

5'2" 109lbs sounds ok, unless she stops eating for days at a time.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
I know a girl who is 14 years old, she's 5'2" About 6 months ago she decided to be a vegetarian. I disagreed with it, but set it up so that she could responsible about it. Let's just say she hasn't. She doesn't eat enough, and takes caffeine pills. Fast forward to now. She's 109 lbs. which I understand is in BMI range but her rips are completely visible. She's starting to have pains in her sides and her hips. Additionally, she almost never eats anymore, and pukes constantly anytime she takes a bite of anything. I'm really worried for her, but her father doesn't give two shits about her condition. She won't go to a hospital because she's worried her father will get really mad at her. She doesn't know where to seek counseling but I'm afraid it's almost past the point of using counseling to help.

How can I reverse this path of destruction she's on?

1) what qualifications do you have to 'set it up'

2) not your call...she is a minor as well so I'd stay clear. If you are truly concerned and the parents really won't do anything call your local government office on child care issues.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: yamadakun
5'2" 109lbs sounds ok, unless she stops eating for days at a time.

She goes for 3 day spells drinking water and taking caffeine pills..

 

[Epic Fail]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune

Originally posted by: yamadakun
5'2" 109lbs sounds ok, unless she stops eating for days at a time.

She goes for 3 day spells drinking water and taking caffeine pills..

Start with her parents.

 

[FoBoT]

if her parents don't care, then call Dept Social Services/Child Protective Services

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune

Originally posted by: yamadakun
5'2" 109lbs sounds ok, unless she stops eating for days at a time.

She goes for 3 day spells drinking water and taking caffeine pills..

Are you her shadow lately? How old are you btw?

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune

Originally posted by: yamadakun
5'2" 109lbs sounds ok, unless she stops eating for days at a time.

She goes for 3 day spells drinking water and taking caffeine pills..

Are you her shadow lately? How old are you btw?

No, not her shadow, and i'm 18 btw.. But what does that have to do with an anorexic? Or do you have to be under 18 to be concerned about someone? That is if you're male.. Obviously if you're female you can do no wrong in helping young people

 

[alkemyst]

it has to do with I think you are hanging around chicks too young for you offering wisdom you don't have.

 

[ShadowOfMyself]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
it has to do with I think you are hanging around chicks too young for you offering wisdom you don't have.

How about focusing on the matter at hand instead of attacking the poster

Seriously, I hate the age argument... Everyone matures at a different age, its just impossible to compare, just because at 18 you might have been inexperienced and naive doesnt make it so that someone else is/was as well

Also her parents seem to be the irresponsible ones, not him, at least hes trying to help some... The whole pedo thing is also blown out of proportions, you cant help someone just because they are underaged? give me a break!

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
it has to do with I think you are hanging around chicks too young for you offering wisdom you don't have.

I dont directly hang around any of them. It's not my preference. Anyone around here that's seen me post long enough knows I don't really have an affinity for mankind, I find too much fault in people. I have my own faults to deal with to have to put up with other people's crap. There's something though about seeing a kid mess herself up like that that makes me want to try to help.

As for offering wisdom I don't have, isn't knowing where to go showing more wisdom than knowing it yourself? I helped formulate her a way to live by with the help of one of my college professors, who is a registered nurse, an M.D., and has a Ph.D. in psychology. She worked at Tallahassee Memorial hospital for 10 years, and was a combat medic during Vietnam, Korea, and Desert Storm. She has also spent the last 25 years as a vegetarian. I can without a doubt tell you that she knew exactly what needed to be done to set up a proper diet.

Aside from that, I do believe most people here would scoff in light of the hypocrisy of someone such as yourself claiming a person doesn't have the wisdom to offer anything. You yourself have unfortunately been caught in such a situation on more than one occasion. Though I'm hardly in the mood to start shit throwing.

 

[eakers]

This needs to end now or she will have a miserable life.

School guidance councellor. You need to tell someone. Do not wait until she is on deaths door, that will only make it worse.

 

[AmdEmAll]

Why don't you take a seat. Take a seat, right over there.

That weight seems normal for her height. But she is on a path to having real issues. I'd say the parents need to be told, and if they don't give a shit the authorities can get involved.

 

[NanoStuff]

Don't worry, recently scientists discovered a cure for anorexia.

More food.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself

Originally posted by: alkemyst
it has to do with I think you are hanging around chicks too young for you offering wisdom you don't have.

How about focusing on the matter at hand instead of attacking the poster

Seriously, I hate the age argument... Everyone matures at a different age, its just impossible to compare, just because at 18 you might have been inexperienced and naive doesnt make it so that someone else is/was as well

Also her parents seem to be the irresponsible ones, not him, at least hes trying to help some... The whole pedo thing is also blown out of proportions, you cant help someone just because they are underaged? give me a break!

I have already answered that part of it. He needs to get her an impartial professional to assist.

At 18, there is no way he is a capable nutritionist nor able to make medical deductions of someone else by playing telephone game with one of his teachers.

To me in my opinion and seeing some of the posters other discussions, he is playing with fire...there is obviously an ulterior motive.

Even in his last post he basically claims to hate people, yet something about this 14 year old caught his eye enough to see her without much clothes on during winter.

To coolness...where have I been ever shown wrong in a statement I have made here that wasn't someone focusing on a typo?

Also you seem to know a lot more about both the 14yo and your professor than most would gather through casual discussion. Wisdom would have been to send HER to someone, not you guessing her symptoms..etc. Your professor offering to treat her as such was equally doing a disservice esp. offering treatment as a doctor to a patient they never saw.

 

[Chunkee]

she is 14....she clearly is having some problems...depression more than likely and severe self esteem issues. at her age, the window is closing for her to be reached... DO something, tell somebody.

jC

 

[AreaCode7O7]

A school counselor can work with her, her parents, and make the decision to call CPS if things aren't improving. Definitely go there first.

 

[warmodder]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself

Originally posted by: alkemyst
it has to do with I think you are hanging around chicks too young for you offering wisdom you don't have.

How about focusing on the matter at hand instead of attacking the poster

Seriously, I hate the age argument... Everyone matures at a different age, its just impossible to compare, just because at 18 you might have been inexperienced and naive doesnt make it so that someone else is/was as well

Also her parents seem to be the irresponsible ones, not him, at least hes trying to help some... The whole pedo thing is also blown out of proportions, you cant help someone just because they are underaged? give me a break!

I have already answered that part of it. He needs to get her an impartial professional to assist.

At 18, there is no way he is a capable nutritionist nor able to make medical deductions of someone else by playing telephone game with one of his teachers.

To me in my opinion and seeing some of the posters other discussions, he is playing with fire...there is obviously an ulterior motive.

Even in his last post he basically claims to hate people, yet something about this 14 year old caught his eye enough to see her without much clothes on during winter.

To coolness...where have I been ever shown wrong in a statement I have made here that wasn't someone focusing on a typo?

Also you seem to know a lot more about both the 14yo and your professor than most would gather through casual discussion. Wisdom would have been to send HER to someone, not you guessing her symptoms..etc. Your professor offering to treat her as such was equally doing a disservice esp. offering treatment as a doctor to a patient they never saw.

This is good advice. Be careful with her. She's no doubt vulnerable, taking advantage of that would be a HUGE mistake. Get her help, make sure she isn't on the path towards destruction, but be careful because you could get burned even if your mind isn't thinking that way. People will naturally be suspicious.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Chunkee
she is 14....she clearly is having some problems...depression more than likely and severe self esteem issues. at her age, the window is closing for her to be reached... DO something, tell somebody.

jC

agreed.

you can't sit idly by. it doesn't sound like you should tell her father, but someone else who is better able to assist her at school or in the community, like others have said.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself

Originally posted by: alkemyst
it has to do with I think you are hanging around chicks too young for you offering wisdom you don't have.

How about focusing on the matter at hand instead of attacking the poster

Seriously, I hate the age argument... Everyone matures at a different age, its just impossible to compare, just because at 18 you might have been inexperienced and naive doesnt make it so that someone else is/was as well

Also her parents seem to be the irresponsible ones, not him, at least hes trying to help some... The whole pedo thing is also blown out of proportions, you cant help someone just because they are underaged? give me a break!

I have already answered that part of it. He needs to get her an impartial professional to assist.

At 18, there is no way he is a capable nutritionist nor able to make medical deductions of someone else by playing telephone game with one of his teachers.

To me in my opinion and seeing some of the posters other discussions, he is playing with fire...there is obviously an ulterior motive.

Even in his last post he basically claims to hate people, yet something about this 14 year old caught his eye enough to see her without much clothes on during winter.

To coolness...where have I been ever shown wrong in a statement I have made here that wasn't someone focusing on a typo?

Also you seem to know a lot more about both the 14yo and your professor than most would gather through casual discussion. Wisdom would have been to send HER to someone, not you guessing her symptoms..etc. Your professor offering to treat her as such was equally doing a disservice esp. offering treatment as a doctor to a patient they never saw.

I honestly find your post disheartening, and I dont usually feel that way.. Damn these allergies..

First of all, I find your comment about her offensive, considering that I have a girlfriend who I care deeply for, and as I'm certain you've seen from me by now, would never ever ever, consider cheating on my girl. You should also know (and i'm certain shadow does) that I have *extremely* high standards on the visual appearance of a woman, and I abhor the advent of anything low cut, halter topped, boy short, anything of that nature. I would NEVER do anything as disgraceful as to try to cop a look at a girl I have no romantic attachment to. I found out through her bf who happens to be a very close friend of mine. He was worried about her and he is not one to worry. *If* he is worried then I know there must be some reason to. I would NEVER look at any girl except my gf in such a manner and I would *especially* never consider my best friends girl as a candidate. The thought of that is sickening.

I don't like people, and am thoroughly disgusted by people such as you, who themselves don't have a clue about things such as decency and maturity, who say that love can only be achieved after having sex with 15 girls and being at least 30 years old. I lived my life being far above my age group in maturity, and I continue to be the biggest party pooper of my generation and I honestly love it. Just because I dont oogle the latest coed cheerleaders does not mean I don't understand what love is, or have the desire to help someone whom I think needs it.

And what the hell is wrong with enjoying the company of my professor? She has been a wonderful educational benefit to me and one of the few people I can get along with. Of course I have no romantic attachment to her, the woman is in her 50's and lets face it, after 3 wars as a combat medic, you aren't going to look like Miss America either. She is just a wonderful person to be with for conversation and learning. Why does it have to be more than that?

You know as well as I do my gf is young, but that has nothing to do with the current situation and you know it. What about sending the girl to somone? For a diet plan? Oh, so I suppose that means Richard Simmons and Jenny Craig are illegal and immoral too right? My professor knows just as much about vegetarianism as most doctors and was plenty capable of helping to show her things to eat to achieve complete proteins etc.

The school counselor is what I'm going to try to push for. If anyone wishes to continue discussion they are free to, including you alchy..

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: Chunkee
she is 14....she clearly is having some problems...depression more than likely and severe self esteem issues. at her age, the window is closing for her to be reached... DO something, tell somebody.

jC

I would agree with the depression part. She's actually a very chipper person. However, she's also a very heavy tease, which I hate in women, but I do think that has to do with her desire for attention.. Which honestly needs broken more than anything. But I wouldn't know where to turn for help with that. She won't listen to me about such things, and Psychiatrists aren't cheap. Additionally, it seems for now there is no parent willing to help her monetarily anyways.