- May 18, 2001
- 7,882
- 380
- 126
Wow.
For lunch today, the wifey and I got a hankering for some pizza from our local Pizza Hut. We were out walking the dog in the local park and needed to make a quick stop by her parents' house, so we decided we would call it in from there, then pick it up on the way home. The ever-helpful Pizza Hut employee on the phone took our order, then told us to pick it up in 20 minutes.
Approximately 20 minutes later...
We arrived at the restaurant a minute or two early, because it hardly ever takes 20 minutes to actually get a Pizza Hut pizza. I went inside and was greeted by two persons whom I will call Granny Mae (an elderly lady who most likely had escaped from an asylum where she had been committed for eating her neighbors' kids) and El Skeletor Boy (a lanky, freakishly skinny aberration of evolution who is guaranteed to never experience the sublime pleasures of being with a naked woman).
I told them my name, and that I had called in an order. With glazed-over eyes Granny Mae continued to communicate with the aliens from Dimension X, but momentarily regained enough clarity to mumble something about "dammit, don't make me tell you again..."
It was ever more obvious to me that my hopes of lunch depended on El Skeletor Boy. So I glanced in his direction with an expectant look. He gave me a nervous smile and tried to pretend he couldn't see me, all the while fussing over little loose bits of pepperoni and cheese lying on the counter. Finally, he must have sensed that Granny Mae wasn't up to the challenge of dealing with people, and grudgingly concluded that he was going to have to help me so I could go away.
So he looked for my pizza. Was it among the boxed pizzas on the counter? Nope. Was it lying on that conveyor belt that feeds the pizzas through the oven? Guess again. Was it next to the oven, waiting to be cut? Not even close. Where, oh where could my pizza be? Was it on the floor? Not at the moment. Was it in the fridge? I don't think so.
El Skeletor Boy was becoming agitated by the awkwardness of the situation, and began to wildly flail his stick-like appendages in the air, all the while mumbling geeky curses to himself. I was afraid that he was going to run into something and break off little pieces of himself. Finally, he went to the back of the room to an area where I couldn't see.
I waited. Then I waited some more. I was beginning to suspect that El Skeletor Boy had ditched Granny Mae, and was heading with all due speed back to the crypt from which he had been spawned.
Finally, El Skeletor Boy emerged victorious, with a big toothy grin stretched from ear to ear. "Can you wait a few minutes, please? Granny Mae accidently put your pizza in the other oven - the one we never turn on."
Again, I say "wow".
For lunch today, the wifey and I got a hankering for some pizza from our local Pizza Hut. We were out walking the dog in the local park and needed to make a quick stop by her parents' house, so we decided we would call it in from there, then pick it up on the way home. The ever-helpful Pizza Hut employee on the phone took our order, then told us to pick it up in 20 minutes.
Approximately 20 minutes later...
We arrived at the restaurant a minute or two early, because it hardly ever takes 20 minutes to actually get a Pizza Hut pizza. I went inside and was greeted by two persons whom I will call Granny Mae (an elderly lady who most likely had escaped from an asylum where she had been committed for eating her neighbors' kids) and El Skeletor Boy (a lanky, freakishly skinny aberration of evolution who is guaranteed to never experience the sublime pleasures of being with a naked woman).
I told them my name, and that I had called in an order. With glazed-over eyes Granny Mae continued to communicate with the aliens from Dimension X, but momentarily regained enough clarity to mumble something about "dammit, don't make me tell you again..."
It was ever more obvious to me that my hopes of lunch depended on El Skeletor Boy. So I glanced in his direction with an expectant look. He gave me a nervous smile and tried to pretend he couldn't see me, all the while fussing over little loose bits of pepperoni and cheese lying on the counter. Finally, he must have sensed that Granny Mae wasn't up to the challenge of dealing with people, and grudgingly concluded that he was going to have to help me so I could go away.
So he looked for my pizza. Was it among the boxed pizzas on the counter? Nope. Was it lying on that conveyor belt that feeds the pizzas through the oven? Guess again. Was it next to the oven, waiting to be cut? Not even close. Where, oh where could my pizza be? Was it on the floor? Not at the moment. Was it in the fridge? I don't think so.
El Skeletor Boy was becoming agitated by the awkwardness of the situation, and began to wildly flail his stick-like appendages in the air, all the while mumbling geeky curses to himself. I was afraid that he was going to run into something and break off little pieces of himself. Finally, he went to the back of the room to an area where I couldn't see.
I waited. Then I waited some more. I was beginning to suspect that El Skeletor Boy had ditched Granny Mae, and was heading with all due speed back to the crypt from which he had been spawned.
Finally, El Skeletor Boy emerged victorious, with a big toothy grin stretched from ear to ear. "Can you wait a few minutes, please? Granny Mae accidently put your pizza in the other oven - the one we never turn on."
Again, I say "wow".
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