When you find out your "parents" aren't your real parent.

[Zivic]

I don't look fully Korean, I look mix. I have big eyes like white people but an overall asian face. I have both asian and white facial feature.

because what % korean you are, or how "white" your eyes look all are factors in how you deal with situations in your life and how you make your decisions......

 

[Greenman]

No you misunderstood me. I always had a sinking feeling that something was seriously wrong with my life but it wasn't until my mom passed away that the pieces of the puzzles started to fit together. It started with my uncle and aunt telling me a piece of information that was hidden from me and it wasn't until my mom passed away that they were able to come forth with this information. Since then I been doing a lot of research and wonder what else did my parents lied to me about. I did confront my dad about this information and he confirm it was true and that both him and my mom never wanted me to find out.

I don't look fully Korean, I look mix. I have big eyes like white people but an overall asian face. I have both asian and white facial feature. When I took a strand of my dad hair DNA and was able to do DNA on it and found out he wasn't my real dad, that when things became a whole lot complex.

So the bottom line is you were adopted as an infant and your parents didn't want you to know you weren't their natural child, and your a mutt.
The second part is easy, the vast majority of people in the US are mutts. So get over it, join the party, and accept that your not a purebred.
Your parents not wanting you to know you were adopted isn't a bad thing, they did it to protect you, not to hurt you.

The simple reality is you have one and only one course of action, sack up and accept who you are. If you don't like the man you are, that's not your parents fault, and there is only one person who can change that. So make the only choice you have, and make the best of it.
I wish you well.

 

[nakedfrog]

No you misunderstood me. I always had a sinking feeling that something was seriously wrong with my life but it wasn't until my mom passed away that the pieces of the puzzles started to fit together. It started with my uncle and aunt telling me a piece of information that was hidden from me and it wasn't until my mom passed away that they were able to come forth with this information. Since then I been doing a lot of research and wonder what else did my parents lied to me about. I did confront my dad about this information and he confirm it was true and that both him and my mom never wanted me to find out.

I don't look fully Korean, I look mix. I have big eyes like white people but an overall asian face. I have both asian and white facial feature. When I took a strand of my dad hair DNA and was able to do DNA on it and found out he wasn't my real dad, that when things became a whole lot complex.

"All through my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was."
"No," said the old man, "that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that."

― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

 

[Bart*Simpson]

I grew up being told the family was Irish and had similar feelings as the OP. Did the DNA thing and found I'm 98% Scot and 2% Afghan (someone had a warbride in the 1700's).

Screws with your head to find this out after fifty years.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

I grew up being told the family was Irish and had similar feelings as the OP. Did the DNA thing and found I'm 98% Scot and 2% Afghan (someone had a warbride in the 1700's).

Screws with your head to find this out after fifty years.

Why? You're still the same person you were the moment before you learned that information.

 

[thehotsung8701A]

I grew up being told the family was Irish and had similar feelings as the OP. Did the DNA thing and found I'm 98% Scot and 2% Afghan (someone had a warbride in the 1700's).

Screws with your head to find this out after fifty years.

Thank you mate, it help to have someone that understand. I don't know if this thread is a good idea, seem some posters think that everyone life is the same but it isn't. People just don't understand but that cause they never been through it or don't quite understand what I and perhaps you are going through. It help to have someone that have experience what I am going through. To say that what your nationality is does not matter who you are could not be more falsely wrong. It matter a whole lot, it changes your life concept and perspective and to found out the truth, it hurt more than most people can imagine.

 

[Zivic]

I grew up being told the family was Irish and had similar feelings as the OP. Did the DNA thing and found I'm 98% Scot and 2% Afghan (someone had a warbride in the 1700's).

Screws with your head to find this out after fifty years.

I feel for you. I bet it has taken some time to get passed this, years most likely if you even have been able to.

Stay strong.

 

[Zivic]

Thank you mate, it help to have someone that understand. I don't know if this thread is a good idea, seem some posters think that everyone life is the same but it isn't. People just don't understand but that cause they never been through it or don't quite understand what I and perhaps you are going through. It help to have someone that have experience what I am going through. To say that what your nationality is does not matter who you are could not be more falsely wrong. It matter a whole lot, it changes your life concept and perspective and to found out the truth, it hurt more than most people can imagine.

if finding out what % you are and/or are not "hurt more than most people can imagine" means you have a pretty darn good life. Having that be at the top of your list of problems would mean you have nothing else worthwhile to concern yourself with. Congrats

 

[John Connor]

I'm part polock, German, Austrain, Irish and a dash of Prussian. ie, Mut! Mostly German.

 

[Bart*Simpson]

Why? You're still the same person you were the moment before you learned that information.

No, I'm not. Your identity may not hold that much meaning for you but for me I've spent a lifetime identifying as Irish, eating Irish food, listening to Irish music (which I still enjoy), and etc.

My identity has been Irish.

Now I find that my family are lowland Scots who lived in the north of Ireland for about 100 years before moving on to the USA. They never mingled with actual Irish people and the fact that they were not really Irish is reflected in the absence of many Irish customs and behaviors in my family.

Now I have to get used to being a Scot and while I harbor a deep love of all things Irish I am now the outsider looking in.

 

[Bart*Simpson]

Thank you mate, it help to have someone that understand. I don't know if this thread is a good idea, seem some posters think that everyone life is the same but it isn't. People just don't understand but that cause they never been through it or don't quite understand what I and perhaps you are going through. It help to have someone that have experience what I am going through. To say that what your nationality is does not matter who you are could not be more falsely wrong. It matter a whole lot, it changes your life concept and perspective and to found out the truth, it hurt more than most people can imagine.

You're most welcome.

I imagine Barry Soetoro went through a similar struggle when he realized he wasn't the son of an Indonesian Muslim man but instead the son of a Kenyan Muslim man. And thus he readopted his birth name of Barack Obama.

 

[nakedfrog]

I guess I just can't fathom putting that much stock in one's genetic heritage... something you have literally no control over.

 

[Bart*Simpson]

I guess I just can't fathom putting that much stock in one's genetic heritage... something you have literally no control over.

Then you can't relate to it. I've never understood why anyone listens to rap music but it doesn't mean their interest in it is irrelevant just because I don't understand it.

 

[Zivic]

Then you can't relate to it. I've never understood why anyone listens to rap music but it doesn't mean their interest in it is irrelevant just because I don't understand it.

I don't quite get the comparison...
I would argue we can't relate because we have actual issues/problems in our lives that need our attention rather than obsessing about what % the specific kind of white we are.....

 

[Bart*Simpson]

I don't quite get the comparison...
I would argue we can't relate because we have actual issues/problems in our lives that need our attention rather than obsessing about what % the specific kind of white we are.....

Thank you for making this about racism when it wasn't.

 

[Zivic]

Thank you for making this about racism when it wasn't.

I made it about the fact that you have some serious first world problems if you are obsessed about what side of the island your ancestors came from....

 

[soulcougher73]

Thank you for making this about racism when it wasn't.

Race. Not racism. Big difference.

 

[Bart*Simpson]

I made it about the fact that you have some serious first world problems if you are obsessed about what side of the island your ancestors came from....

You have some serious first world problems given your sophomoric grasp of geography.

 

[Zivic]

You have some serious first world problems given your sophomoric grasp of geography.

just happy I got out the 9th grade

 

[Bart*Simpson]

just happy I got out the 9th grade

You can always go back and finish it. No shame in that at all.

 

[Zivic]

You can always go back and finish it. No shame in that at all.

Considering the last 36.5 yrs I thought I was czech and russian and now I recently found out I am Polish. As a Pollack, I think I should just consider myself lucky I made it of elementary and middle school. the 9th grade now seems like quite the accomplishment. I used to think I was stupid for never finishing high school, but now that I know that my people have never been accused of being overly intelligent I think I am doing just fine with the hand I have been dealt

 

[Bart*Simpson]

Oh, my bad. I thought you were serious about the 9th grade thing.

Sarcasm sometimes eludes me.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

No, I'm not.

Yes you are. You were you before and you are you after and you are still you now. You were always from a line of scots.

Your identity may not hold that much meaning for you but for me I've spent a lifetime identifying as Irish, eating Irish food, listening to Irish music (which I still enjoy), and etc.

My identity means everything to me -- so much that I do not let it change because of some kind of misinformation about where my ancestors previously lived, nor do I allow any other facts about those ancestors to constrain my identity.

My identity has been Irish.

Now I find that my family are lowland Scots who lived in the north of Ireland for about 100 years before moving on to the USA. They never mingled with actual Irish people and the fact that they were not really Irish is reflected in the absence of many Irish customs and behaviors in my family.

Now I have to get used to being a Scot and while I harbor a deep love of all things Irish I am now the outsider looking in.

I think you should worry less about being what you think you should be as a consequence of your ancestry and worry more about being what you should be right now in the present as a consequence of your immediate environment.

 

[thehotsung8701A]

if finding out what % you are and/or are not "hurt more than most people can imagine" means you have a pretty darn good life. Having that be at the top of your list of problems would mean you have nothing else worthwhile to concern yourself with. Congrats

I'm trying to see how I can make you understand. But first off let me just say, a good life and myself never go together. No matter what I do, bad things always happen to me from developing mental illness and losing all my friends (death) to losing my mom and grandma....yeah I don't think so.

What % I am completely matter. Not know who you are or what your identity is a huge reason I develop mental illness in the first place. Obviously you have to be an outsider to understand what that like. All my life I never fit in anywhere. I never felt close to anyone. Which made me unique and mysterious but it also ruin what was left off me. Had I known the truth, things would have be remarkably different. A whole 360 turn. I have more problems than most people will ever know. Half the time I don't even know why I exist and have to drink everyday to combat the feeling of lonely, anger, regret, and most of all pain. Lot and lot of pain.

I really don't have much else to say. I'm as tough as anyone out there but I feel cheated. I'm tire and I'm just done.

 

[Zivic]

I'm trying to see how I can make you understand. But first off let me just say, a good life and myself never go together. No matter what I do, bad things always happen to me from developing mental illness and losing all my friends (death) to losing my mom and grandma....yeah I don't think so.

What % I am completely matter. Not know who you are or what your identity is a huge reason I develop mental illness in the first place. Obviously you have to be an outsider to understand what that like. All my life I never fit in anywhere. I never felt close to anyone. Which made me unique and mysterious but it also ruin what was left off me. Had I known the truth, things would have be remarkably different. A whole 360 turn. I have more problems than most people will ever know. Half the time I don't even know why I exist and have to drink everyday to combat the feeling of lonely, anger, regret, and most of all pain. Lot and lot of pain.

I really don't have much else to say. I'm as tough as anyone out there but I feel cheated. I'm tire and I'm just done.

if you knew the truth you'd likely be exactly where you are now blaming something else in your life as to why you ended up where you did.

you know now, so why don't you use that knowledge and change your life now? I'll tell you why you won't.... because it doesn't matter.

We all have problems. The two remaining grandparents I had; that I had known, died when I was in my mid teens and my mother died at 54 from lung cancer and never smoked. She never got to meet any of her grandchildren. we had as suicide in the family just a couple yrs back as well...

those are problems... not knowing exactly what percent asian or white you are is not... look in the mirror, that's who you are.