When was your most embarrassing moment "breaking wind"

[TackleDummy]

Originally posted by: Schadenfroh
Well, here is what happened in my college calculus final exam last year.

I had me a few tacos the night before and something did not agree with me (my guess, bad sour cream). I had developed ?the trots? less than 20 minutes before class started. I had a C in this class and this grade would push me into A territory if I could finish it. Walked in and started taking it, intestines bubbling. I held nothing back and farted as much as possible (small trickles of crap came with it). The putrid smell overcame many people around me as I heard them inch their desks away from mine. I could barely stand my own stench for the next half hour. I could not think because of the pain, so I asked the prof. to excuse me to the restroom. He allowed me to go, as he could smell my condition. I exploded in the restroom and the splash force from the toilet left a nice ring of sh!t where the water does not flow in the bowl. I am sure the janitor had a field day. I was running short of time and I was not going to finish my test, so I shoved toilet tissue into my ass crack to absorb any moisture as I did not have time to fully wipe. I returned to class as smelly as ever and sat back down. A few people had switched desks while I was out. I was momentarily relieved after my last bowl movement, but it only lasted for a short time. The farts started again, as did the "sharting". The smell remained terrible as people around me turned in their tests way too early. I was forced to return to the restroom and repeated the same thing above. Finally, I returned to the class and finished the test. Turned it in, but I missed a good deal as I was not able to concentrate. Ended up with a B in that class and a whole list of enemies (or at least people who shunned me).

I don't think anyone will top this. You guys should give up.

 

[loup garou]

Originally posted by: mpitts
Brodie: Let me ask you something. Did you ever fart in front of her?

T.S.: Why do you ask?

Brodie: - I never once farted in front of Rene. Then last week, I let one slip. Today she dumps me.

T.S.: You think that that's why Rene dumped you? She's not the shallow type, Brodie.

Brodie: She was goin' down on me.

T.S.: Shut up!

Brodie: What? What can I say? I was feeling very relaxed. When I'm relaxed, I squirt.

T.S: If all she did was dump you, you got off light.

FVCK! I wanted to post that. :|

Anyone remember the guy who posted about coming out of the shower in his towel to his gf waiting for him, said "I love you THIS much!" and tried to squeeze one out, but ended up crapping on the floor? Who was that? I think his thread was deleted. That was probably the funniest thing I've ever read here.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: TackleDummy

Originally posted by: Schadenfroh
Well, here is what happened in my college calculus final exam last year.
.............

I don't think anyone will top this. You guys should give up.

I recall a story of this nature before, which may have been from Schadenfroh, concerning scatological antics. I think it was deemed to be shens, though I may be mistaken.

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: loup garou
Anyone remember the guy who posted about coming out of the shower in his towel to his gf waiting for him, said "I love you THIS much!" and tried to squeeze one out, but ended up crapping on the floor? Who was that? I think his thread was deleted. That was probably the funniest thing I've ever read here.

I DO!!!

 

[SonnyDaze]

Originally posted by: Schadenfroh
Well, here is what happened in my college calculus final exam last year.

I had me a few tacos the night before and something did not agree with me (my guess, bad sour cream). I had developed ?the trots? less than 20 minutes before class started. I had a C in this class and this grade would push me into A territory if I could finish it. Walked in and started taking it, intestines bubbling. I held nothing back and farted as much as possible (small trickles of crap came with it). The putrid smell overcame many people around me as I heard them inch their desks away from mine. I could barely stand my own stench for the next half hour. I could not think because of the pain, so I asked the prof. to excuse me to the restroom. He allowed me to go, as he could smell my condition. I exploded in the restroom and the splash force from the toilet left a nice ring of sh!t where the water does not flow in the bowl. I am sure the janitor had a field day. I was running short of time and I was not going to finish my test, so I shoved toilet tissue into my ass crack to absorb any moisture as I did not have time to fully wipe. I returned to class as smelly as ever and sat back down. A few people had switched desks while I was out. I was momentarily relieved after my last bowl movement, but it only lasted for a short time. The farts started again, as did the "sharting". The smell remained terrible as people around me turned in their tests way too early. I was forced to return to the restroom and repeated the same thing above. Finally, I returned to the class and finished the test. Turned it in, but I missed a good deal as I was not able to concentrate. Ended up with a B in that class and a whole list of enemies (or at least people who shunned me).

I laughed so hard reading this that I just farted....ROFL&F!!!! :laugh:

 

[Viperoni]

Was receiving skids with my boss, and he had to go back to his office to get a knife to cut the shrinkwrap.
I had been drinking budweiser the night before.
I let out a good one 5 seconds before he came back, he walks into it, lets out the most stiffled "Oh God" I've ever heard and almost falls backwards trying to escape it's deathly stench. I actually fell on the floor laughing at his reaction.

 

[Schadenfroh]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: TackleDummy

Originally posted by: Schadenfroh
Well, here is what happened in my college calculus final exam last year.
.............

I don't think anyone will top this. You guys should give up.

I recall a story of this nature before, which may have been from Schadenfroh, concerning scatological antics. I think it was deemed to be shens, though I may be mistaken.

Link? I did not copy this from anywhere else, but I did link this story in another thread to this thread. Ask anyone in Business Calculus 8:30 AM, T/TH at my college The prof. retired that year, not sure if it was related.

that other thread is here:
http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview...atid=38&threadid=1948846&enterthread=y

 

[krunchykrome]

I was doing situps in the gym with a weight plate across my chest and POOOOF

 

[HN]

layup during bball game. mid-air, loud, lots of spectators

 

[NuclearNed]

This isn't my fart story, but considering it happened at my house, I'm claiming it.

Back in 1998 we lived in a condo for a short while. Right next door to us and attached to ours was a condo that was owned by Siemens (the company). They would bring some of their staff from Germany to the U.S. for extended periods of time, and this condo is where some of them lived.

Anyway, my wife and I hosted a party for several of our "couples" friends, and our condo was pretty packed. We had all sorts of food that people had brought, and apparently something there didn't agree with my good buddy Wes. He had seismic intestinal trouble all night. At one point, he was standing in the foyer next to the front door, when the urge to rip one hit him hard. Trying to be discrete, he opened the front door, stuck his butt out in the open air, and let 'er fly. Only when it was over did he turn around to notice that his still protruding backside was more or less rubbing against my stunned German neighbor, an innocent bystander who had picked an unfortunate time to be standing there trying to find his front door keys.

Wes said "how's it going?" then quickly got back inside and slammed the door.

 

[Spineshank]

Originally posted by: suicidalpigeon
During sparing in Tae-Kwon-Do, I ripped a huge one while I was in the middle of giving this guy a butterfly kick.

Ive taken karate for 10 years and dont know what a butterfly kick is.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: NuclearNed
This isn't my fart story, but considering it happened at my house, I'm claiming it.

Back in 1998 we lived in a condo for a short while. Right next door to us and attached to ours was a condo that was owned by Siemens (the company). They would bring some of their staff from Germany to the U.S. for extended periods of time, and this condo is where some of them lived.

Anyway, my wife and I hosted a party for several of our "couples" friends, and our condo was pretty packed. We had all sorts of food that people had brought, and apparently something there didn't agree with my good buddy Wes. He had seismic intestinal trouble all night. At one point, he was standing in the foyer next to the front door, when the urge to rip one hit him hard. Trying to be discrete, he opened the front door, stuck his butt out in the open air, and let 'er fly. Only when it was over did he turn around to notice that his still protruding backside was more or less rubbing against my stunned German neighbor, an innocent bystander who had picked an unfortunate time to be standing there trying to find his front door keys.

Wes said "how's it going?" then quickly got back inside and slammed the door.

:laugh:

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Fist time I had sex with my GF. I let one rip right in the middle. I was mortified... she was cracking up.

"Are you done?"
"Nope."
"Well..."
"Ok"
*brap* *brap*
"Feel better?"
"Yup"
"Good... Get back to work"

 

[DaShen]

while praying in a group. it was really embarassing

 

[MisterJackson]

During sex here too. A few times later my ex did the same thing. I let her slide though, didn't call her out on that one. And yes, she farted.

 

[Reckoner]

Originally posted by: DaShen
while praying in a group. it was really embarassing

LOL

 

[meltdown75]

A few years back I was sitting in the office and had some bad cramps. I knew I shouldn't let one go but for some reason I did.

It was a real roaster and it almost burned my ass on the way out. That's when I knew my co-workers were in for some trouble.

The guy sitting next to me just looked at me bewildered and said, "Good lord man, was that YOU?" The girl on the other side began to laugh because he was so grossed out.

40 feet away, a co-worker rose from his desk wondering who was eating egg salad. When he found out it was someone's ass he just left, never seen him look so disgusted. "Smells like something crawled up your ass and died."

The guy on the other side of the cubicle was so disgusted that he threw out his Coke and half-eaten apple because he thought they were contaminated.

I just sat in it, red-faced and never been so embarrassed by a fart in my life. The girl next to me just laughed and laughed for about 15 minutes. It took a few months for the legend to fade from the daily office talk rotation.

 

[Ktulu]

Most embarrassing moment of flatulence was about a month ago at a staff meeting. As we were going around talking about our tasks and weekly goals and accomplishments I let out a cough, no big deal right? Well the force from the cough loosened up a very potent gas bomb, the conference room was quite for a good minute. It actually would have been something to laugh about had our Director of IT not been there.

 

[6StringSamurai]

Originally posted by: meltdown75
...The girl on the other side began to laugh because he was so grossed out.

um... lol....

 

[JohnAn2112]

Originally posted by: meltdown75
A few years back I was sitting in the office and had some bad cramps. I knew I shouldn't let one go but for some reason I did.

It was a real roaster and it almost burned my ass on the way out. That's when I knew my co-workers were in for some trouble.

The guy sitting next to me just looked at me bewildered and said, "Good lord man, was that YOU?" The girl on the other side began to laugh because he was so grossed out.

40 feet away, a co-worker rose from his desk wondering who was eating egg salad. When he found out it was someone's ass he just left, never seen him look so disgusted. "Smells like something crawled up your ass and died."

The guy on the other side of the cubicle was so disgusted that he threw out his Coke and half-eaten apple because he thought they were contaminated.

I just sat in it, red-faced and never been so embarrassed by a fart in my life. The girl next to me just laughed and laughed for about 15 minutes. It took a few months for the legend to fade from the daily office talk rotation.

OMFG LOL!

 

[chr6]

yoga class.

while most people were kind and trying to ignore it, i couldn't stop laughing.

 

[Dacalo]

Originally posted by: Schadenfroh
Well, here is what happened in my college calculus final exam last year.

Thanks for a good laugh! :laugh:

 

[xSkyDrAx]

Originally posted by: meltdown75
A few years back I was sitting in the office and had some bad cramps. I knew I shouldn't let one go but for some reason I did.

It was a real roaster and it almost burned my ass on the way out. That's when I knew my co-workers were in for some trouble.

The guy sitting next to me just looked at me bewildered and said, "Good lord man, was that YOU?" The girl on the other side began to laugh because he was so grossed out.

40 feet away, a co-worker rose from his desk wondering who was eating egg salad. When he found out it was someone's ass he just left, never seen him look so disgusted. "Smells like something crawled up your ass and died."

The guy on the other side of the cubicle was so disgusted that he threw out his Coke and half-eaten apple because he thought they were contaminated.

I just sat in it, red-faced and never been so embarrassed by a fart in my life. The girl next to me just laughed and laughed for about 15 minutes. It took a few months for the legend to fade from the daily office talk rotation.

So is this how you came up with your user name? The great meltdown of 75?

 

[Pocatello]

<Shrek>Better out than in, I always say</Shrek>

 

[ATLien247]

Originally posted by: Schadenfroh
Well, here is what happened in my college calculus final exam last year.

I had me a few tacos the night before and something did not agree with me (my guess, bad sour cream). I had developed ?the trots? less than 20 minutes before class started. I had a C in this class and this grade would push me into A territory if I could finish it. Walked in and started taking it, intestines bubbling. I held nothing back and farted as much as possible (small trickles of crap came with it). The putrid smell overcame many people around me as I heard them inch their desks away from mine. I could barely stand my own stench for the next half hour. I could not think because of the pain, so I asked the prof. to excuse me to the restroom. He allowed me to go, as he could smell my condition. I exploded in the restroom and the splash force from the toilet left a nice ring of sh!t where the water does not flow in the bowl. I am sure the janitor had a field day. I was running short of time and I was not going to finish my test, so I shoved toilet tissue into my ass crack to absorb any moisture as I did not have time to fully wipe. I returned to class as smelly as ever and sat back down. A few people had switched desks while I was out. I was momentarily relieved after my last bowl movement, but it only lasted for a short time. The farts started again, as did the "sharting". The smell remained terrible as people around me turned in their tests way too early. I was forced to return to the restroom and repeated the same thing above. Finally, I returned to the class and finished the test. Turned it in, but I missed a good deal as I was not able to concentrate. Ended up with a B in that class and a whole list of enemies (or at least people who shunned me).

Trading your dignity for a B... priceless!