When reality settles in...

[AlienCraft]

When we're young, our parents ( and us, too I guess) seem to be in a sort of stasis, in that their aging seems to not be as noticeable to us.

But then one day you notice they're not on their game like they used to be, or even some blatant behavior that only "old" people do and there you have it. You're old and they are REALLY old and none of us will ever resolve that issue in any way other than the "dirt nap".

Things I learned today after spending the afternoon with the old man.....
1. Letting yourself get into bad habits early can lessen the quality of life later on. Not excersizing, poor eating habits, too many late nite snacks of a few kilo calories, all these little things accumulate and you see it only at the end of our time here.
2. That doctor you go to, he didn't go to med school and all the rest of that so you can pick and choose which of the treatments he wants you to do.
3. My father doesn't have it going on like he used to. Between the mini strokes ( just found out about those) and the heart attack, his mental acuity has slipped quite a bit.

I had to explain the digital picture frame gift more than once this afternoon.
This is a guy who developed nuclear atmospheric testing equipment for the USAF back in the day.
He still can run his HAM radio rig, so that's my last benchmark I guess.

Oh well, ain't gonna fret about something I can't do anything about. < Dad's rule #2.

It was a good visit anyway.

 

[child of wonder]

My parents are now in their mid 50's but I'm starting to notice a few things such as wrinkles being much more pronounced, gray hairs, etc.

 

[skyking]

It was a good visit anyway

That is what I focus on. Mom can't really travel anymore, so I don't bring anything up like that. She's in pain, so I quit asking her how she is. We talk baseball and politics and news and family, and I do what I can to make it a good visit.

 

[rh71]

I'm starting a family of my own and I think that's what life is about... moving onward. I've watched my parents watch their parents move on and they get over it in due time. They've enjoyed watching me grow up and I can tell when they lend helping hands as I watch over my pregnant wife. Everyone's turn comes... just enjoy your time.

 

[Saint Nick]

I was really homesick the past couple days and decided to go home for about a week in July to spend time with them

I miss being home, being in high school, and having their protection from things. It almost brings a tear to my eye since I miss it so much ...

 

[IEC]

Yeah, family ain't getting younger here...

Especially with the younger sibling giving grief and gray hairs to the parents...

 

[JEDI]

" That doctor you go to, he didn't go to med school "

WTF?!?!?!?!

as for your topic OP, i wrote something similiar:
THREAD

wow.. cant believe its been a couple of years since i wrote that :Q

 

[RichardE]

Mom has Epilepsy and MS and they both are getting close to 50. I noticed a few years ago how bad the disease actually is on her and how much the stress is taking its toll on my old man. It's rough, especially with them moving about 400 miles away this summer (live in same town at the moment).

/sigh

:beer:

 

[Muadib]

Just be thankful your dad is still around. I lost mine to cancer this year, and I would kill to have one last chance to be able to tell him how to use his vcr.

 

[Kakumba]

Originally posted by: Muadib
Just be thankful your dad is still around. I lost mine to cancer this year, and I would kill to have one last chance to be able to tell him how to use his vcr.

And thats the sad thing. No matter how many times we hear the same things of "Always tell your family you love them", it takes something like a death, or near death to really make it hit home.

Got both my parents still, but one grandparent down, and one on the way out. I know that sounds terrible, but Alzheimer's is pretty final, especially when combined with strokes, infections, and general old age...

 

[Grunt03]

Originally posted by: AlienCraft
Oh well, ain't gonna fret about something I can't do anything about. < Dad's rule #2.
It was a good visit anyway.

That's the way I look at it, dont focus on the things you cannot change, enjoy the time you spend together and build on the Memories of the time you had together.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

My grandmother is knocking on deaths door. She's in her 70's, is losing her mind and has lost 90% of her lung capacity thanks to smoking.

 

[Ultralight]

Dad's health has taken a nose dive with radiation treatment for his prostate cancer. It tore him up. I know he is going down hill when he doesn't mind a bit of not going fishing. He'll be 74 in December.

 

[CPA]

My 14 year old son can now run as fast as me. That's how I know I'm getting old. I can still whoop him in BBall and tackle football though.

 

[xochi]

My dad is 79 mom 77. They have been in an assisted living facility for a little over a year. My father is in cancer treatment and mom has alzihimers. sp? They resisted all forms of outside help coming to the house, would fire them after me or other siblings hired them. But then we had to make it clear that they could not care for themselves at the same capacity as a few years ago. (meals, medicine, etc.) Moving to a facility that prepared all meals and had lite medical service (dispense medicine) became the only option.

It took a few weeks for them to get used to the new environment. They have a one bedroom apartment with kitchen and meals prepared. Dads health is slowly deteriorating and my guess he will have to move to a full service medical facility within the year.

Old age will catch up to us all of us. I'm thankful they had productive lives, were able to travel extensively while in good health and prepared themselves financially for this stage. It?s still sad though.

 

[nanette1985]

Originally posted by: AlienCraft

I had to explain the digital picture frame gift more than once this afternoon.
This is a guy who developed nuclear atmospheric testing equipment for the USAF back in the day.
He still can run his HAM radio rig, so that's my last benchmark I guess.

He's not the only one having trouble with a digital picture frame. One of the relatives gave a digital picture frame to all the mothers in the family, for mother's day. You have no idea what a disaster that has been! Problems all around.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: princess ida



He's not the only one having trouble with a digital picture frame. One of the relatives gave a digital picture frame to all the mothers in the family, for mother's day. You have no idea what a disaster that has been! Problems all around.

Oy, I can only imagine!
Since he barely uses the computer anymore, getting pictures to him will be different than I originally envisioned.

 

[Kreon]

Originally posted by: Kakumba

Originally posted by: Muadib
Just be thankful your dad is still around. I lost mine to cancer this year, and I would kill to have one last chance to be able to tell him how to use his vcr.

And thats the sad thing. No matter how many times we hear the same things of "Always tell your family you love them", it takes something like a death, or near death to really make it hit home.

Got both my parents still, but one grandparent down, and one on the way out. I know that sounds terrible, but Alzheimer's is pretty final, especially when combined with strokes, infections, and general old age...

My god, that is so true

I lost my Dziadziu (grandfather) to cancer in May
It blew

I wish I had been able to spend more time with him
Even explaining to him that long distance doens't cost an arm and a leg anymore
Being able to talk about my future with him


I miss him a lot, we were really close

So spend time with the ones you love before life takes it's debt

Edit: In tune with the OP, realizing I didn't live in this stasis is a shock, watching him go from a strong, healthy 70 yr old guy, to a frail, bedridden, blood gurgling, suffering 71 year old with last stage prostate cancer

:music:Life's a peice of shit, when you look at it, so face the curtain with a bow, and always look on the bright side of life

 

[blackdogdeek]

the day my father helped me move a futon rack into my new apartment and he had to stop to catch his breath, i knew he was old.

 

[dud]

You have NEVER trully lived until the day that you have to bury your parents. On that day my naive eyes were opened. Now that I've lost both of them I ... I guess that haveing all the money that you've ever needed or wanted means nothing.

 

[MrWizzard]

Do something for your dad when it's all over remember him how he used to be.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: dud
You have NEVER trully lived until the day that you have to bury your parents. On that day my naive eyes were opened. Now that I've lost both of them I ... I guess that haveing all the money that you've ever needed or wanted means nothing.

Well, I certainly think about that a good deal more than I used to.
This is the essence of this thread.