When is it ok for a teacher to have a relationship with a former student?

[fleabag]

As long as she is hot & she lets the student toss her salad, then its ok.

What the fuck does being hot and tossing a salad have anything to do with anything? I don't understand how food preparation and being with an attractive woman has anything in common.. Is this what you're talking about?

I worked as a sous chef at a restaurant at one point and let me tell you, I've tossed a lot of salads and there is nothing particularly special about doing that. Is this salad tossing just another stupid 4chan meme or something? dumb...D:

 

[nageov3t]

..

 

[Perknose]

I worked as a sous chef at a restaurant at one point and let me tell you,

A dishwasher is not a sous chef. They just put that Hasbro fireman's hat on you and told you otherwise for the lulz.

 

[fleabag]

A dishwasher is not a sous chef. They just put that Hasbro fireman's hat on you and told you otherwise for the lulz.

dat dont mak no since.

 

[eits]

is it wrong? no.

is it just creepy? yeah. he was her teacher and watched her grow up for a few years. it's just a bit disturbing.

 

[grrl]

Wow, I strongly disagree, Dr. P! It's a line a teacher should never cross with a student while both are in the same school, ever, imho.

How can you think otherwise?

I suspect DrPizza is assuming everything is okay once the girl has graduated.

 

[SaDiZTiKStyLeZ]

My ex had stated she saw nothing morally wrong with having sexual relations with a child as young as 14, and just gets a little more taboo younger than that. She was molested at a young age. She is currently a 5th grade teacher.

 

[DrPizza]

I suspect DrPizza is assuming everything is okay once the girl has graduated.

Not quite. If there are absolutely zero outward signs that there's something sneaky going on prior to graduation, and they start dating a few months later, AND their ages are within 4 or 5 years, then it's not creepy & I don't think would draw too much criticism from a community.

But, where there appears to be "something sneaky going on", and they start dating "officially" at the girl's graduation party, and the guy is 20 years older than the girl, then I find it absolutely unacceptable.
By "something sneaky going on" - people aware that there's been at least some flirting going on - when dating commences immediately after graduation, the community is going to interpret it as something very well may have been going on during the student/teacher relationship. And, that is VERY unacceptable in any community I've ever been a member of.

However, a 40 year old teacher, commencing dating an 18 year old former student about a month after her graduation - completely undermines his respect within the community. If you want to date 18 year olds when you're 40, go for it. But you better plan on a different profession.

 

[grrl]

<snip>

That's actually what I thought, I should have written "so long as they only start dating after graduation."

 

[ArizonaSteve]

When I was in secondary school (England), one of the music rooms became something of a lunch break hangout. The music teacher was in his mid 40's, short, not exactly attractive and lived with his parents. Most days he could be found in the storage cupboard (with the door ajar) making out with one of the 16 year old students.

He moved on from his job, with little notice given (wonder why?). We spent the last two weeks watching soft porn movies instead of getting music lessons.

 

[grrl]

When I was in secondary school (England), one of the music rooms became something of a lunch break hangout. The music teacher was in his mid 40's, short, not exactly attractive and lived with his parents. Most days he could be found in the storage cupboard (with the door ajar) making out with one of the 16 year old students.

He moved on from his job, with little notice given (wonder why?). We spent the last two weeks watching soft porn movies instead of getting music lessons.

In my high school the middle-aged music teacher was dating a student, the always 'proper' minister's daughter!

 

[Bateluer]

Legally, as soon as the student graduates from the school. Ethically, I'd say a little bit longer after, maybe a year or two. That's just me though, it'd be weird.

 

[uberman]

I think it's interesting to note that "Gary Edward "Garrison" Keillor (born August 7, 1942) is an American author, storyteller, humorist, columnist, musician, satirist, and radio personality...To Ulla Skaerved (a former exchange student from Denmark at Keillor's high school whom he famously reencountered at a class reunion), from 1985 to 1990."

He married a former student.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garrison_Keillor

According to Wikipedia, he really gets around.

 

[l0cke]

But, I've seen a 30+ coach marry an 18 year old girl shortly after her graduation. VERY weird. And the type of thing that makes people think twice about having such a coach employed by the school district (I think his coaching days were finished.)

Did you go to my school? One of the gym teachers here married a cheerleader right after graduation, and he was over 30 at the time. He still works here D: