<< whatever TP my roommate happens to buy >>
When I lived in a townhouse with 5 other guys I swear I was the only person that bought TP. We had 5 bathrooms, 6 guys. If one of them ran out, they'd go tear through my bathroom looking for TP. But I wised up after a few months of that and started hiding the TP in my bedroom behind my bed.
Current roommates have been known to go through my room looking for the TP. I swear, that stuff is like a commodity. They'll run to the gas station to buy cigarettes, but won't buy their own TP. Pisses me off sometimes.