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What's your favorite crazy bible verse?

Pliablemoose

Pliablemoose

Lifer
Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB

If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.
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()🙂
 
yeah, something in Deut or Numbers, relating to stoning a wife who has slept with your friend/brother/father/son/yourself...whatever verse it was that explains how to successfully accuse the 'ol battle axe into a verdict of some cold, hard stoning!


...oh wait, they were all like that.

right proper book, that Bible.
 
The Old Testament God didn't mess around. The arrival of Jesus changed everything. You can thank Jesus for modern Western civilization.
 
Pliablemoose said:
()🙂
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I have a hard time not thinking that Moses was Confessing with that Verse. That "potential" situation sounds more like German Porn than something that would occur in Real Life.

My favorite verse-- (some NT Book:chapter:Verse) "Jesus said"

Mainly because, even if it is inaccurate or an outright Lie, it is innocuous enough not to get worried about.
 
RoloMather said:
The Old Testament God didn't mess around. The arrival of Jesus changed everything. You can thank Jesus for modern Western civilization.
Click to expand...

hmmm. he has a point. :hmm:

but if you wanna thank someone for modern western civilization, thank the Greeks (predating Jesus by ~700 years), who thoroughly whipped the invading Persians in the Peloponnesian war, preventing what otherwise would well have been an utter transfiguring of the western world.
:sneaky:
Jesus was allowed to tame the resulting rabble, which basically learned only how to GTFO of here, and leave the rest of the mess where it is...and where it remains to this day. 🙁
 
zinfamous said:
hmmm. he has a point. :hmm:

but if you wanna thank someone for modern western civilization, thank the Greeks (predating Jesus by ~700 years), who thoroughly whipped the invading Persians in the Peloponnesian war, preventing what otherwise would well have been an utter transfiguring of the western world.
:sneaky:
Jesus was allowed to tame the resulting rabble, which basically learned only how to GTFO of here, and leave the rest of the mess where it is...and where it remains to this day. 🙁
Click to expand...

Look at Muslims now and Sharia law and tell me Jesus has no influence on Western civ. Imagine if we lived under Old Testament laws.
 
sandorski said:
I have a hard time not thinking that Moses was Confessing with that Verse. That "potential" situation sounds more like German Porn than something that would occur in Real Life.

My favorite verse-- (some NT Book:chapter:Verse) "Jesus said"

Mainly because, even if it is inaccurate or an outright Lie, it is innocuous enough not to get worried about.
Click to expand...

jesus never actually lied about anything, or made stark, sweeping accusation about any class of person. that's what he was suckered into after his....death, or whatever happened.

if you take out his words only, tossing out the remainder of the NT--even what's printed in fundy bibles (KJV)--they're always the same, and they can always be summarized thusly:

"Be cool, my brothas and sistahs! relax, stop all this hati'n and feuding, just chill out. don't listen to all that greedy-ass establishment; they're charging for your salvation!"

yada yada. I guess you can say he certainly did get a littlepreachy over the long haul (proclaiming he was son of god, on top of Chiaphus, and hell....even God at one point, but you know...we all slip up!), but overall he had a pretty chill message of "be cool! everyone is all-right!"

I guess that sure as shit pissed off the warlords; not to mention Roman authority.
😉
 
Did this come from the Bible? I think Jules is God.

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the Valley of Darkness; for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children. And, I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And, you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"
 
http://bash.org/?178890

#178890 +(13047)- [X]
*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...
 
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