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What's your best "I got out of a ticket" story?

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I was on the diagonal street approaching a six-way intersection. The light turned amber, and my friend Keith riding with me said, "Go for it." So I did, but apparently not close enough/fast enough. A cop was waiting at the front of the line on one of the other streets, and he simply turned to follow me and pulled me over. I rolled down the window as he approached, and when he got up to me the first words out of anybody's mouth were from him:

"That wasn't even close!"

He took my license for ten minutes, but saw it was clean so he came back and told me I could go but to take it easy on the speed.
 
Originally posted by: spidey07
It was in a BMW M3 and I was tearing around a very sharp corner at around 70 mph when I should have been going 20. Basically I gunned to top out second then still flooring it in 3rd. Passed a cop that was parked (couldn't see him because the turn was so sharp.

My excuse was since the car was pretty new and I'd never driven a stick before the car kind of got away from me, apologizing profusely. No ticket which is weird because he immediately called for more cars/officers. "learn how to drive that thing son, I can't believe you were going that fast on that corner." 🙂
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Gah, I have a friend who drives like you. I feel sick getting out of the car every time.
 
i was in chicago on business...driving to a bar to meet some people. long story short...me and another guy started playing the roadrage game....yes, stupid....but thats not the point. anyway, i exit to get to the bar, and he cuts off the freeway to follow me. we continue the fun cut each other off game, and when we get to a red light, i do a dick move and cut him off. i look back in the mirror and see a cab behind him....or so i thought! it was a cop!.

this lady cop pulls up next to the other driver and talks to him...then lets him go.

she proceeds to flash me down...and im thinking im screwed because she probably saw just my dick move and not his.

she asks for my license and reg. i give her my license and rental car papers. i explain that i am out of town on busiess and i explain that the other car was doing the same thing.

she lectured me on crazy road rage incidents that lead to shootings and deaths. i made a joke and said that i looked at the driver first, and he was a nerdy white man, and i could beat him up. she laughed, lecutred me some more and then let me off....


im lucky!!!
 
Pulled me over for a fix-it ticket (tail light was out; but I had a spare in the car)

As he walked up toward the car, I could see him glancing at the license plate and a weird look crossed his face. As he got closer to the window, I leaned out and said, "NO. I am NOT "goatgurl." I always hated my wife's license plate. But, he started laughing and let me off without writing the ticket.
 
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Pulled me over for a fix-it ticket (tail light was out; but I had a spare in the car)

As he walked up toward the car, I could see him glancing at the license plate and a weird look crossed his face. As he got closer to the window, I leaned out and said, "NO. I am NOT "goatgurl." I always hated my wife's license plate. But, he started laughing and let me off without writing the ticket.
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Only you could post such a story and actually get away with it without massive shens.
😀
 
2 years ago I worked at a Scout camp (and am going back this year)
Each week we had a night off, and we could drive off the reservation and go to the nearest city (Concord NH)

The two guys who live in the tent next to me had their girlfriends pick them up one week to go out. The just changed their shirts and shorts, but didn't bother changing out of their Scout socks (the really high ones that suck...)

Their car got pulled over for going 70 in a 50.
One of the girls was driving, and my neighbor was in the passenger seat with one of his legs resting on the other. The other two were in the back
The cop comes up and looks in the car, and asked "you boys Boy Scouts?"
They replied, "Yes sir"
He goes (to the girl), "I don't wanna see you endangering these boys again"
He then went off, without even running the license (which he would have found she was only supposed to be driving with one other person in the car)
 
I've got a good one:


Background: I went to school for one semester at University of Arizona (failed miserably), and one of the next door neighbors was moving back to NJ and wanted to know if I would come. Chick + Austin + New Orleans + Daytona = obvious yes.


I'll make it as short as I can:

In Texas there was this big swooping bowl we were driving down and of course there was a Sheriff at the bottom waiting for idiots. I said the usual "shit" when you see a cop and you are speeding, and he obviously pulled me over. I think i was doing like 80+ in a 50 (the hill was enormous).

So he comes up and I give him my info and he gives me the whole speeding chat. Then he says "Well today is your lucky day, I have never seen anyone from Pelham, NH all the way down here before. I grew up in Hudson, NH. I'll be right back."

So as I'm saying to myself no f'n way this is happening, I look at him in my rearview and see the guy giggling and shaking his head. He walks back over and before he even gets out a word I asked him if he went to Alvirne High School, and he said yes. I asked him if he knew my mother......they guy starts chuckling and says, "I dated your mother." WHAAAT?

He starts rattling off names of the elder's in my family, and we all started laughing...it was nuts. Turned out that the guy was going to visit my great aunt + uncle 2 weeks later. He was related to me.

This made me think....why the fvck would you ask my mom out if you were cousins, but it was by marriage later on in life.

The guy let me off and he walked away laughing, and I drove away laughing and giddy that I didn't receive an enormous ticket.

So Sheriff Paul Cossette, thank you for being horny for my mother.


 
OK Here's mine.

I got pulled over for having a tail light out. When the cop came over I showed him the new one I bought earlier and told him I just hadn't had time to install it yet.

True story.
 
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Pulled me over for a fix-it ticket (tail light was out; but I had a spare in the car)

As he walked up toward the car, I could see him glancing at the license plate and a weird look crossed his face. As he got closer to the window, I leaned out and said, "NO. I am NOT "goatgurl." I always hated my wife's license plate. But, he started laughing and let me off without writing the ticket.
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so, do you do that every time you get pulled over?
 
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Pulled me over for a fix-it ticket (tail light was out; but I had a spare in the car)

As he walked up toward the car, I could see him glancing at the license plate and a weird look crossed his face. As he got closer to the window, I leaned out and said, "NO. I am NOT "goatgurl." I always hated my wife's license plate. But, he started laughing and let me off without writing the ticket.
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Did she get that to go with your goatse license plate? :Q

I don't have any good stories about getting out of tickets... I got out of a 62 in a 35 because I worked at 7-Eleven (free coffee for cops). Got out of another speeding ticket because I was on my way to work at Subway. ( 😕 )

 
When I was younger, my Uncle (who was a cop) used to give us these courtesy cards. I got pulled over when I went through a yellow-red (though mostly red). This was my first (and only, knock on wood) time being pulled over, and I was young, so I was pretty nervous. He asked for license and registration, so I gave him the information.

However I completely forgot about the courtesy card (that was behind my license). He went and ran my information, then came back to the car. I guess I was still holding my wallet open in the same position. He looked at it and said "What is that?"

My heart jumped because I thought there was something wrong. I said "What?" He said "In your wallet...". So then I realized he was talking about the courtesy card. So I pulled it out and handed it to him.

He let me go with a warning. I was so lucky he saw the card (and even asked for it), because I never would have thought about it!
 
Originally posted by: Mashed Potato

Then he says "Well today is your lucky day, I have never seen anyone from Pelham, NH all the way down here before. I grew up in Hudson, NH. I'll be right back."
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I had one of those, except I was just in PA and he grew up down the road from me. He still gave me a ticket though, probably because I was driving a cube van for work and he knew I wouldn't be paying the ticket (expired registration).
 
Originally posted by: Juno
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Pulled me over for a fix-it ticket (tail light was out; but I had a spare in the car)

As he walked up toward the car, I could see him glancing at the license plate and a weird look crossed his face. As he got closer to the window, I leaned out and said, "NO. I am NOT "goatgurl." I always hated my wife's license plate. But, he started laughing and let me off without writing the ticket.
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so, do you do that every time you get pulled over?
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I don't make a habit of doing things that'll get me pulled over. I'd like to say that I avoid driving that van as much as possible. Unfortunately, son #2 just got his license and now he drives my car more often than I do. The van was totaled in an accident (lots of cosmetic damage), so we were just using it as a work vehicle. It still passed inspection & is still registered, still carry insurance on it, etc. It's become "my" vehicle now, complete with that stupid license plate. I don't know what my wife was thinking.
 
Originally posted by: Kreon
2 years ago I worked at a Scout camp (and am going back this year)
Each week we had a night off, and we could drive off the reservation and go to the nearest city (Concord NH)

The two guys who live in the tent next to me had their girlfriends pick them up one week to go out. The just changed their shirts and shorts, but didn't bother changing out of their Scout socks (the really high ones that suck...)

Their car got pulled over for going 70 in a 50.
One of the girls was driving, and my neighbor was in the passenger seat with one of his legs resting on the other. The other two were in the back
The cop comes up and looks in the car, and asked "you boys Boy Scouts?"
They replied, "Yes sir"
He goes (to the girl), "I don't wanna see you endangering these boys again"
He then went off, without even running the license (which he would have found she was only supposed to be driving with one other person in the car)
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Did they have NH licenses or plates?
 
Two incidents both involve me falling asleep behind the wheel.

1st. I feel asleep behind the wheel on the freeway was weaving all over the road since I was asleep and rammed into the meadian. Cop shows up the accident, and never gives me a ticket even though I admited to falling asleep behind the wheel, and clearly I was as fault for the accident given I was the only one involved.

2nd. Fast forward 4 years later, I fall sleep on the freeway again. Again I am weaving all over the place, when I am waken up by the sound sirens. I am being pulled over, I exit the freeway. The cop ask me if I have been drinking. I tell him no I fell asleep. He shines a light into my eyes, and says ok. He then ask me when is my exit, and I tell him the next one up. He tells me drive safely and not to fall asleep again. He also tells me be carefull about driving sleepy again and lets me go.
 
Originally posted by: ICRS
Two incidents both involve me falling asleep behind the wheel.

1st. I feel asleep behind the wheel on the freeway was weaving all over the road since I was asleep and rammed into the meadian. Cop shows up the accident, and never gives me a ticket even though I admited to falling asleep behind the wheel, and clearly I was as fault for the accident given I was the only one involved.

2nd. Fast forward 4 years later, I fall sleep on the freeway again. Again I am weaving all over the place, when I am waken up by the sound sirens. I am being pulled over, I exit the freeway. The cop ask me if I have been drinking. I tell him no I fell asleep. He shines a light into my eyes, and says ok. He then ask me when is my exit, and I tell him the next one up. He tells me drive safely and not to fall asleep again. He also tells me be carefull about driving sleepy again and lets me go.
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Remind me again where you live? :shocked:
 
Told the cop I'm a virgin and my girlfriend called and said she had a very special present for me. He smiled, gave me the fist pound, and let me go.
 
Was driving back home from Cedar Point, about 1.5 hours worth of drive from where i live in Michigan. Of course, I am driving my buddies red firebird. We are both exhausted, but I am driving because he is so tired. As I am coming up this hill, I think to myself "better slow down this is a speed trap". At that point I am already over the hill though and sure enough local cop at the bottom. He pulls me over, as I am doing 70 in a 55. Walks up and asks me the usual questions.

I proceed to tell him in a tired stupor, "Yeah, I knew you'd be there, didn't slow down in time" ROFL. He takes my license, and asks me if I had a brother. I'm thinking oh shit, as my older brother was notorious for having ghetto bass speakers and driving like a jackass around town. So naturally I think I am going to get a nightstick without lube. Instead he asks me "No, do you have another brother?"

"Yes sir, younger brother named Nathan"

"Ah yes, good kid...had him in my D.A.R.E class. Well you try and slow down, and have a nice day"

I still thank my mom's accidental pregancy spawn for that little event.
 
I was going 85+ in a 65 in Alabama on my way to Panama City, Florida for Spring Break. I got pulled over by a state cop and he started out pretty angry and asked for my license etc.

He went back to his car and came back a few minutes later and asked me to "Step out of the car please". I was pretty sure I was screwed at this point and starting to freak out a little bit. When we got in front of his car he asked me if I was in the Military because he had seen my military ID in my wallet when I pulled out my Driver's License. He started chatting with me about when he was in the Army. After a few minutes he says " I will give you two options. One I will give you a ticket for reckless driving and you will have to appear in court or Two I will give you a seat belt violation because I can't remember if you were wearing you seatbelt when I approached your car." I told him I would take option 2 and he said good choice and to try to slow it down.

 
Originally posted by: Quintox
Told the cop I'm a virgin and my girlfriend called and said she had a very special present for me. He smiled, gave me the fist pound, and let me go.
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LOL if thats true
 
got pulled over for speeding. had cleaned the guy's teeth the day before. i mentioned that fact, and he said, "and you didn't even hurt me", and promptly let me go on my way.

i will pull out any stops/connections i have. why not?
 
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