Whats with people?

[Lean L]

I used to be a jerk to people. Like a huge jerk. I didn't really like that so now I'm nice to everyone.

Some people really flourish when you treat them well. Others not so much... I've had two recent instances where I'm pretty sure my kindness was taken as weakness. So pretty much I can let many things go but when it piles up I really feel like I'm just gonna pound the next guy who abuses my tranquil nature. Just when I was seeing faith in humanity... Ugh, I'm just gonna buy a punching bag so I don't unleash.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

People are assholes.

 

[SMOGZINN]

I know what you mean. I'm a calm, tranquil, pacifist, and I'll beat up anyone that says otherwise!

 

[olds]

Most people are as dumb as rocks.

 

[Lean L]

Most people are as dumb as rocks.

Yeah what bothers me is that some people are not that stupid... I've left behind most idiots but they still exist even in college.

 

[T_Yamamoto]

Most people are as dumb as rocks.

Like Patrick? He lives under a rock

 

[PingviN]

You need to create a balance between new pacifist you and the old asshole you. Can't be too nice, can't be too much of a dick.

 

[ch33zw1z]

sounds like a typical day for me. try to be nice without being walked on.

 

[Lummex]

That sort of thing boils my blood. My best friend is a lovely person who is literally nice to everyone. When i see that taken for granted or viewed as weakness, I just want to scream, cause she is also one of the strongest people i know. Don't stop being kind, OP

 

[Icepick]

Nice guys finish last? Often, doing the right thing is a more difficult path to tread.

Look at Jesus Christ. Arguably the nicest guy who ever walked the face of the Earth. They hunted him down, nailed his ass to a cross and left him there to die a tortured death. Nobody ever said that doing the right thing would be easy.

 

[qtnguyen87]

Im a pretty nice person, always have and always will. Its easier being nice then to take stupid shit seriously. Just let it go ....wooosa.....woooosa.....

 

[SandEagle]

I used to be really nice to people. Like a huge nice guy. I didn't really like that so now I'm a jerk to everyone.

 

[SlitheryDee]

I think real kindness is rarely taken as weakness. I think obsequiousness is often mistaken for kindness though.

 

[zinfamous]

people are the worst

 

[Lean L]

I think real kindness is rarely taken as weakness. I think obsequiousness is often mistaken for kindness though.

Eh. Maybe for some. This ain't the case though. I still do as I please I just don't give ppl shit for things as much.

 

[Lean L]

You need to create a balance between new pacifist you and the old asshole you. Can't be too nice, can't be too much of a dick.

Maybe. I've been focusing on making others feel welcome recently since it makes me feel good too. It also shows security in yourself if you treat others well. Guess you gotta let some assholes have it when they step out of line.

 

[KidNiki1]

one of my favorite things i heard someone else say was this:

The world is pretty great except for all the people.

 

[Perknose]

I used to be a jerk to people. Like a huge jerk.

[...]

So pretty much I can let many things go but when it piles up I really feel like I'm just gonna pound the next guy who abuses my tranquil nature.

Your tranquil nature? Lol!

It's admirable that you have attempted to be a much nicer person than you used to be. I mean that.

But while you may not act out like a jerk much or almost not at all any more, my bet is that your old jerk self still seethes just below the surface and leaks out in ways other people can't help but notice, even as you think they don't.

Truly nice people don't react with the bitter resentment you're exhibiting right in this thread when others don't act quite like they wish they would.

Just sayin'.

I think real kindness is rarely taken as weakness. I think obsequiousness is often mistaken for kindness though.

Also this.

 

[Lean L]

Your tranquil nature? Lol!

It's admirable that you have attempted to be a much nicer person than you used to be. I mean that.

But while you may not act out like a jerk much or almost not at all any more, my bet is that your old jerk self still seethes just below the surface and leaks out in ways other people can't help but notice, even as you think they don't.

Truly nice people don't react with the bitter resentment you're exhibiting right in this thread when others don't act quite like they wish they would.

Just sayin'.

Also this.

I can't tell what the lol is for.

Thanks.

There's the badside to all of us. I'm not perfect, that goes without saying. Although given my recent interactions with people, I'm fairly certain it wasn't me. Old me would have gotten myself arrested in one of these situations.

Again.. not perfect and this is a trait in every person. The notion of truely nice as you describe it cannot exist. Moot imo as we all become bitter especially when we take the bitter high road.

Although I guess the lesson to be learned here is two fold. (Existing adages)
1) You can't change people, there will always be assholes.
2) Cat paw - Soft and smooth normally but sharp nails when they're needed.

 

[Soundmanred]

Nice people usually don't get taken advantage of, pussies do.
There's a difference.

 

[Lean L]

Nice people usually don't get taken advantage of, pussies do.
There's a difference.

You tease... what's the backstory here? Gang- related?

 

[Perknose]

I can't tell what the lol is for.

Thanks.

There's the badside to all of us. I'm not perfect, that goes without saying. Although given my recent interactions with people, I'm fairly certain it wasn't me. Old me would have gotten myself arrested in one of these situations.

Again.. not perfect and this is a trait in every person. The notion of truely nice as you describe it cannot exist. Moot imo as we all become bitter especially when we take the bitter high road.

Although I guess the lesson to be learned here is two fold. (Existing adages)
1) You can't change people, there will always be assholes.
2) Cat paw - Soft and smooth normally but sharp nails when they're needed.

Decent answers. :thumbsup:

As to the bolded, the key is taking satisfaction and being at peace when you take the high road. If the high road you take leaves you bitter, you're doing it wrong, and your resentment will subsequently leak out.

I'm sure as hell not holding myself up as a paragon of this wisdom, just so you know. But calm on the outside with roiling bitterness inside is a recipe for eventual disaster.

The real key is not sublimating or ignoring any bitterness, but transcending it. This is going to sound corny, but this comes by having true compassion for the idiots who annoy you. You wouldn't want to be them, right? You can't be pissed at someone you merely feel sorry for. No one can get under your who is inconsequential to you.

No one can treat you in a way you don't accept. No one can really shit on you unless you present a static, accepting target. Don't engage assholes. Get small, get invisible, get elsewhere . . . just don't react and engage.

Every active asshole situation you could be in requires your participation. Don't participate.

Our happiness and serenity comes from within ourselves. It is absolutely not dependent on other people. If you are dependent on how other people behave to maintain your equilibrium and calm, you will always be at the mercy of the inevitable, random asshole.

And other really deep stuff.

 

[Soundmanred]

You tease... what's the backstory here? Gang- related?

No, it's actually true.
I'm a nice guy, everyone thinks so, but I'm not about to be walked on and people know it.
It simply doesn't happen.

Not sure WTF the "gang" thing is you're talking about...

This is part of what I mean:

No one can treat you in a way you don't accept. No one can really shit on you unless you present a static, accepting target.

 

[Lean L]

Decent answers. :thumbsup:

As to the bolded, the key is taking satisfaction and being at peace when you take the high road. If the high road you take leaves you bitter, you're doing it wrong, and your resentment will subsequently leak out.

I'm sure as hell not holding myself up as a paragon of this wisdom, just so you know. But calm on the outside with roiling bitterness inside is a recipe for eventual disaster.

I've been doing well for a while but it seems like once in a while the assholes bare down on you at once and that's when it seems like everyone is shit. Although given the timespans here, the overall number isn't too high. 2 in like 1 year's time...

The real key is not sublimating or ignoring any bitterness, but transcending it. This is going to sound corny, but this comes by having true compassion for the idiots who annoy you. You wouldn't want to be them, right? You can't be pissed at someone you merely feel sorry for. No one can get under your who is inconsequential to you.


No one can treat you in a way you don't accept. No one can really shit on you unless you present a static, accepting target. Don't engage assholes. Get small, get invisible, get elsewhere . . . just don't react and engage.

Every active asshole situation you could be in requires your participation. Don't participate.

Our happiness and serenity comes from within ourselves. It is absolutely not dependent on other people. If you are dependent on how other people behave to maintain your equilibrium and calm, you will always be at the mercy of the inevitable, random asshole.

And other really deep stuff.

Yeah the depending on self thing I've tried to get better at for a while. Kinda like Buddhism (I just want to retain pleasures lol). It is exponentially harder to act out than to just know about.

This really reminds me of the onion article about the woman screaming at a cashier.

 

[Perknose]

Yeah the depending on self thing I've tried to get better at for a while. Kinda like Buddhism (I just want to retain pleasures lol). It is exponentially harder to act out than to just know about.

This really reminds me of the onion article about the woman screaming at a cashier.

Yup, it's exponentially harder to live out day to day than to understand -- life wisdom has to somehow migrate from your head to your heart. Our heads can be talked out of anything, but once we embrace wisdom with our hearts, well, our hearts can't be further fooled, our hearts are constant, they abide.

And, yes! That onion vid is perfect!