- Oct 11, 1999
- 25,195
- 0
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What's the worst thing you've ever told your boss?
- Thread starter Pliablemoose
- Start date
"Fvck off and get out of my office. I have made no more progress than when you were in here 5 fvcking minutes ago"
:laugh: Was a while back, I was driving my stepfather's Corvette and pulled up next to my former boss who drove an old beat-up Cavalier. I couldn't help it, I asked how the Cav was treating him and such, alluded that the 'Vette was mine, then blew his doors off when the light turned green 
- Nov 27, 1999
- 65,428
- 408
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I call myself a 'f-ing idiot' regularly and my boss is myself. So far, I haven't fired myself.... so far....
"If you want to drive a fvcking BMW that is fine. Pay for it with your own motherfvcking money and not with the company's. There is no goddamn reason I should get less of a profit bonus because you can't drive a fvcking truck like the rest of us. The very most you should take is what a truck would cost every month. If you think I'm out of line I'll walk the fvck off this jobsite right now. Then how the hell will you pay for that fvcking poor excuse for a penis."
Shortly after boss/ owner showed me his leased BMW. Impulse buy because we were working across the street from the dealeship. He ended up charging the company $350 a month (what a truck cost) and paying the rest of his $800+ a month payment out of his pocket. The worst thing is he leased it and he was averaging 35-50 thousand miles a year.
Shortly after boss/ owner showed me his leased BMW. Impulse buy because we were working across the street from the dealeship. He ended up charging the company $350 a month (what a truck cost) and paying the rest of his $800+ a month payment out of his pocket. The worst thing is he leased it and he was averaging 35-50 thousand miles a year.
Short line:
"I don't care what you think you want, you pay me to be right."
Long story:
Boss: The new product is late to market. We have customer's waiting.
Me (engineer): No, it's right where I told you it would be six months ago.
Boss: You don't understand the reality of business.
Me: You don't understand the reality of reality. On the theor that any significantly advanced technology is indisitnguishable from magic, Gary and Don (the other two engineers on the project) and I really can do miracles, but even walking on the water was done one step at a time. :laugh:
"I don't care what you think you want, you pay me to be right."
Long story:
Boss: The new product is late to market. We have customer's waiting.
Me (engineer): No, it's right where I told you it would be six months ago.
Boss: You don't understand the reality of business.
Me: You don't understand the reality of reality. On the theor that any significantly advanced technology is indisitnguishable from magic, Gary and Don (the other two engineers on the project) and I really can do miracles, but even walking on the water was done one step at a time. :laugh:
I once sent my current boss an e-mail saying he was a lazy, worthless bastard with all of the mental capacity of a turnip, and that he could keep his damn religion to himself if he had to talk to me at work.
That is not word for word, as it was years ago I sent it. It captures the spirit, though.
That is not word for word, as it was years ago I sent it. It captures the spirit, though.
My boss was vacuuming the office one day... I decided to make fun of him and talk crap about he vacuums at home. I forget. He fired me on the spot. No joke.
OREOSpeedwagon
Diamond Member
- May 30, 2001
- 8,485
- 1
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"jesus christ, kiss my ass and call it a love story"
one of his lines he uses all the time.. got pissed at him and threw it back at him in a sarcastic tone. we both ended up laughing though
one of his lines he uses all the time.. got pissed at him and threw it back at him in a sarcastic tone. we both ended up laughing though
him : "So you know my niece, Emily?"
me : "You're related to her?"
him: "uh... yeah, why?"
me: "Dude, shes a total slut. She had sex with 4 of my friends at the same time."
him: "thanks, i really needed to know that....."
me : "You're related to her?"
him: "uh... yeah, why?"
me: "Dude, shes a total slut. She had sex with 4 of my friends at the same time."
him: "thanks, i really needed to know that....."
had a boss once I told him if he wants to steal customers equipment go ahead, the next day I found the stuff he wanted me to steal for him so I walked out the door.
"Fvck You" in reference to wading through a den of fvcking birds and spiders. I don't fvcking like spiders, so I said fvck you when he was trying to get me to help him with some sh!t in an old building.
I wasn't. I still work for the same boss.
Came within a breath of telling him to "Shut the fsck up!" a couple of days ago when he was trying to force his retarded religion on me again.
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