what's the "good personality" that women want in a guy?

[IMaN00BieGF]

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Even though girls tend to fall for a**holes, for the most part... Good sense of humor, confidence, well mannered, caring.. takes care of himself.

here we have it, straight from a girl's mouth (or fingers, i guess).
guess that settles the dispute, right?

Not even close.

??

 

[brandonbull]

Arrgghh! It be confidence women seek.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Even though girls tend to fall for a**holes, for the most part... Good sense of humor, confidence, well mannered, caring.. takes care of himself.

here we have it, straight from a girl's mouth (or fingers, i guess).
guess that settles the dispute, right?

Not even close.

??

There is a big difference between what a woman actually wants, and what she thinks she wants.

Same for men as well, obviously.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Even though girls tend to fall for a**holes, for the most part... Good sense of humor, confidence, well mannered, caring.. takes care of himself.

here we have it, straight from a girl's mouth (or fingers, i guess).
guess that settles the dispute, right?

Not even close.

??

There is a big difference between what a woman actually wants, and what she thinks she wants.

Same for men as well, obviously.

Not everyone spends their life in emotional confusion. A lot of people know what they want, get what they want, and don't spend their time complaining about it in YAGTs.

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: HN
confidence

confidence.
aplomb.
drive/ambition.
security.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Even though girls tend to fall for a**holes, for the most part... Good sense of humor, confidence, well mannered, caring.. takes care of himself.

here we have it, straight from a girl's mouth (or fingers, i guess).
guess that settles the dispute, right?

Not even close.

??

There is a big difference between what a woman actually wants, and what she thinks she wants.

Same for men as well, obviously.

Not everyone spends their life in emotional confusion. A lot of people know what they want, get what they want, and don't spend their time complaining about it in YAGTs.

QFT.

You can usually spot the people who need some time to grow up and figure out what they want compared to the ones who are grown up and have an idea of what they want.

**EDIT**
Of course, you do run into girls who intellectually know what they want, but are too immature and really want excitement and adventure over those other things. Sure those things are good, but a mature woman will not regard them emotionally as the end all thing for a relationship. While an immature girl will emotionally become attached to the guy who is a little erratic and inconsistent while knowing in their heads that a funny and mature guy would be better for them (and they will lie to themselves convincing themselves they are mature and well adjusted enough to make that kind of decision when they are not). Some even convince themselves that the guy they like is all of those things, when they are not. Infatuation is blind.

Guys do it too, but in a different way.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Even though girls tend to fall for a**holes, for the most part... Good sense of humor, confidence, well mannered, caring.. takes care of himself.

here we have it, straight from a girl's mouth (or fingers, i guess).
guess that settles the dispute, right?

Not even close.

??

There is a big difference between what a woman actually wants, and what she thinks she wants.

Same for men as well, obviously.

Not everyone spends their life in emotional confusion. A lot of people know what they want, get what they want, and don't spend their time complaining about it in YAGTs.

QFT.

You can usually spot the people who need some time to grow up and figure out what they want compared to the ones who are grown up and have an idea of what they want.

**EDIT**
Of course, you do run into girls who intellectually know what they want, but are too immature and really want excitement and adventure over those other things. Sure those things are good, but a mature woman will not regard them emotionally as the end all thing for a relationship. While an immature girl will emotionally become attached to the guy who is a little erratic and inconsistent while knowing in their heads that a funny and mature guy would be better for them (and they will lie to themselves convincing themselves they are mature and well adjusted enough to make that kind of decision when they are not). Some even convince themselves that the guy they like is all of those things, when they are not. Infatuation is blind.

Guys do it too, but in a different way.

Agreed, but in general, that isn't the demographic we're talking about here for the most part (15-30).

Above all, women want a man. Men being confident, self-assured, able to handle themselves, from which all of the other desireable traits stem. Super-nice guys tend to lack this basic trait. Assholes have it to a toxic degree. There are plenty of ideal guys in the middle who are just right. The nice guy will have to little of this to appease any woman for more than a short period of time, unless she is domineering, which is perfect for her. Assholes have it in spades, and like any addictive drug, that toxicity can be adapted to and soon become necessary, especially by those women weak enough to fall prey to it in the first place.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: BD2003
Agreed, but in general, that isn't the demographic we're talking about here for the most part (15-30).

Above all, women want a man. Men being confident, self-assured, able to handle themselves, from which all of the other desireable traits stem. Super-nice guys tend to lack this basic trait. Assholes have it to a toxic degree. There are plenty of ideal guys in the middle who are just right. The nice guy will have to little of this to appease any woman for more than a short period of time, unless she is domineering, which is perfect for her. Assholes have it in spades, and like any addictive drug, that toxicity can be adapted to and soon become necessary, especially by those women weak enough to fall prey to it in the first place.

QFT. The middle of the road people tend to have it best. But you can still be a "Super-nice" guy and still be a man, as long as you can stick up for yourself. It is rare in this day and age though.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: BD2003
Agreed, but in general, that isn't the demographic we're talking about here for the most part (15-30).

Above all, women want a man. Men being confident, self-assured, able to handle themselves, from which all of the other desireable traits stem. Super-nice guys tend to lack this basic trait. Assholes have it to a toxic degree. There are plenty of ideal guys in the middle who are just right. The nice guy will have to little of this to appease any woman for more than a short period of time, unless she is domineering, which is perfect for her. Assholes have it in spades, and like any addictive drug, that toxicity can be adapted to and soon become necessary, especially by those women weak enough to fall prey to it in the first place.

QFT. The middle of the road people tend to have it best. But you can still be a "Super-nice" guy and still be a man, as long as you can stick up for yourself. It is rare in this day and age though.

Those are the people that I think of as the middle. I don't know if its rare so much as it is hard to determine when you're looking at one.

 

[clamum]

I don't see why a girl would want a jerk. Someone who acts like an ass? Hahaha. What kind of girls do you people hang out with?

 

[CarlKillerMiller]

It really depends on your age.


College age? Looks and almost nothing else. Money comes in second. "unpredictability" comes in third, as something I've seen women want until they get it. Then the complaints are nonstop.

 

[Special K]

I don't understand the whole confidence thing. No matter how good looking, funny, smart, athletic, etc. you are, there is always someone better than you out there. That alone makes me think the whole confidence thing isn't genuine. I have a hard time feeling confident about anything knowing that there is always someone better than me out there, and it's just a matter of time before the girl meets that person.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: Special K
I don't understand the whole confidence thing. No matter how good looking, funny, smart, athletic, etc. you are, there is always someone better than you out there. That alone makes me think the whole confidence thing isn't genuine. I have a hard time feeling confident about anything knowing that there is always someone better than me out there, and it's just a matter of time before the girl meets that person.

Thats because youre insecure. Confidence does not imply that you think you know everything or are perfect - thats arrogance. Confidence implies you know what youre capable of, you know what youre not capable of, and you are aware and comfortable with this fact. And knowing that everyone else is just a person like you, and if they can do it, so can you.

Everyone telling you to be yourself is really telling you to be confident - ie comfortable with yourself so that you don't second guess everything you do or say and don't automatically defer to what she wants, likes and/or expects.

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: Special K
I don't understand the whole confidence thing. No matter how good looking, funny, smart, athletic, etc. you are, there is always someone better than you out there. That alone makes me think the whole confidence thing isn't genuine. I have a hard time feeling confident about anything knowing that there is always someone better than me out there, and it's just a matter of time before the girl meets that person.

Thats because youre insecure. Confidence does not imply that you think you know everything or are perfect - thats arrogance. Confidence implies you know what youre capable of, you know what youre not capable of, and you are aware and comfortable with this fact. And knowing that everyone else is just a person like you, and if they can do it, so can you.

Everyone telling you to be yourself is really telling you to be confident - ie comfortable with yourself so that you don't second guess everything you do or say and don't automatically defer to what she wants, likes and/or expects.

If that is the case, then why do people always say "oh, he/she is out of my league", etc. It seems they always say this because they feel they aren't good looking enough or whatever, but if what you said is true, then technically they still have a chance, right? Just as long as they are confident in themselves? The whole confidence thing just doesn't make much sense to me.

 

[yhelothar]

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: Special K
I don't understand the whole confidence thing. No matter how good looking, funny, smart, athletic, etc. you are, there is always someone better than you out there. That alone makes me think the whole confidence thing isn't genuine. I have a hard time feeling confident about anything knowing that there is always someone better than me out there, and it's just a matter of time before the girl meets that person.

Thats because youre insecure. Confidence does not imply that you think you know everything or are perfect - thats arrogance. Confidence implies you know what youre capable of, you know what youre not capable of, and you are aware and comfortable with this fact. And knowing that everyone else is just a person like you, and if they can do it, so can you.

Everyone telling you to be yourself is really telling you to be confident - ie comfortable with yourself so that you don't second guess everything you do or say and don't automatically defer to what she wants, likes and/or expects.

If that is the case, then why do people always say "oh, he/she is out of my league", etc. It seems they always say this because they feel they aren't good looking enough or whatever, but if what you said is true, then technically they still have a chance, right? Just as long as they are confident in themselves? The whole confidence thing just doesn't make much sense to me.

People say "out of my league" as society, especially in grade school, has created a social caste system. So let's say you are in the loser club of the social caste, and you like someone that's hot and popular, you aren't going to get any.

 

[ITJunkie]

Mine 😀

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: virtualgames0

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: Special K
I don't understand the whole confidence thing. No matter how good looking, funny, smart, athletic, etc. you are, there is always someone better than you out there. That alone makes me think the whole confidence thing isn't genuine. I have a hard time feeling confident about anything knowing that there is always someone better than me out there, and it's just a matter of time before the girl meets that person.

Thats because youre insecure. Confidence does not imply that you think you know everything or are perfect - thats arrogance. Confidence implies you know what youre capable of, you know what youre not capable of, and you are aware and comfortable with this fact. And knowing that everyone else is just a person like you, and if they can do it, so can you.

Everyone telling you to be yourself is really telling you to be confident - ie comfortable with yourself so that you don't second guess everything you do or say and don't automatically defer to what she wants, likes and/or expects.

If that is the case, then why do people always say "oh, he/she is out of my league", etc. It seems they always say this because they feel they aren't good looking enough or whatever, but if what you said is true, then technically they still have a chance, right? Just as long as they are confident in themselves? The whole confidence thing just doesn't make much sense to me.

People say "out of my league" as society, especially in grade school, has created a social caste system. So let's say you are in the loser club of the social caste, and you like someone that's hot and popular, you aren't going to get any.

Does a social caste system have much meaning after high school, and to some extent college? I think people pretty much quit using the words "cool" and "popular" after high school, at least where I went. Sure you had your different groups in college, but there were so many people (and no one knew everyone) that the term "popular" really didn't mean much anymore.

 

[torpid]

In my life I have found that a large percentage of "good looking" women really do prefer jerks, and sort of have a complex about it. They want to like nice guys but they have this psychological need to be criticized and put down all the time because their parents were critical of them growing up. Which led them to always try to perfect themselves, which led to them having a good body, clean appearance, decent clothes, etc.

Keep in mind when I say large percentage I mean like 30% or so. There are also attractive women who do all the same things but for themselves and have super awesome boyfriends that I am insanely jealous of and not even just because they got the hot chick. Inevitably these women end up being my coworkers and it drives me insane.

 

[yhelothar]

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: virtualgames0

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: Special K
I don't understand the whole confidence thing. No matter how good looking, funny, smart, athletic, etc. you are, there is always someone better than you out there. That alone makes me think the whole confidence thing isn't genuine. I have a hard time feeling confident about anything knowing that there is always someone better than me out there, and it's just a matter of time before the girl meets that person.

Thats because youre insecure. Confidence does not imply that you think you know everything or are perfect - thats arrogance. Confidence implies you know what youre capable of, you know what youre not capable of, and you are aware and comfortable with this fact. And knowing that everyone else is just a person like you, and if they can do it, so can you.

Everyone telling you to be yourself is really telling you to be confident - ie comfortable with yourself so that you don't second guess everything you do or say and don't automatically defer to what she wants, likes and/or expects.

If that is the case, then why do people always say "oh, he/she is out of my league", etc. It seems they always say this because they feel they aren't good looking enough or whatever, but if what you said is true, then technically they still have a chance, right? Just as long as they are confident in themselves? The whole confidence thing just doesn't make much sense to me.

People say "out of my league" as society, especially in grade school, has created a social caste system. So let's say you are in the loser club of the social caste, and you like someone that's hot and popular, you aren't going to get any.

Does a social caste system have much meaning after high school, and to some extent college? I think people pretty much quit using the words "cool" and "popular" after high school, at least where I went. Sure you had your different groups in college, but there were so many people (and no one knew everyone) that the term "popular" really didn't mean much anymore.

Of course it does.
The adult social caste system has to do with money, power, and fame. Like a girl might say, oh he's a CEO of a fortune 500 company.. he's out of my league.

 

[b0mbrman]

Originally posted by: jagec
Outlaw biker FTW!

Guitar instructor...unemployed guy...

 

[Caligynemania]

Uhm, it depends on the woman? In general, have some integrity and it will shine through whatever other problems you may have.

 

[0roo0roo]

ladder theory ftw!
personalty is the fallback when u don't have the looks😉

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: Special K
I don't understand the whole confidence thing. No matter how good looking, funny, smart, athletic, etc. you are, there is always someone better than you out there. That alone makes me think the whole confidence thing isn't genuine. I have a hard time feeling confident about anything knowing that there is always someone better than me out there, and it's just a matter of time before the girl meets that person.

Thats because youre insecure. Confidence does not imply that you think you know everything or are perfect - thats arrogance. Confidence implies you know what youre capable of, you know what youre not capable of, and you are aware and comfortable with this fact. And knowing that everyone else is just a person like you, and if they can do it, so can you.

Everyone telling you to be yourself is really telling you to be confident - ie comfortable with yourself so that you don't second guess everything you do or say and don't automatically defer to what she wants, likes and/or expects.

If that is the case, then why do people always say "oh, he/she is out of my league", etc. It seems they always say this because they feel they aren't good looking enough or whatever, but if what you said is true, then technically they still have a chance, right? Just as long as they are confident in themselves? The whole confidence thing just doesn't make much sense to me.

Because there are limits to how confident people are. There are very few guys that are so utterly alpha male that they can get with anyone...I'm certainly not one of them. But technically yep, you always have a chance, but you usually need at least one redeeming quality that can be put on paper other than your game. I've seen some ugly fat messes with some hot women, they usually have a heaping load of game and confidence, and just enough money or power to back that up.

The whole confidence thing will make perfect sense to you when you actually are confident. It's not an act - it has to be genuine. You have to know, deep down in your core, that you are just as good as everyone else despite your flaws, that she is just a woman, not a goddess, and if she doesn't go out with you, she's the one that's missing out.

 

[GeneValgene]

Originally posted by: virtualgames0
People say "out of my league" as society, especially in grade school, has created a social caste system. So let's say you are in the loser club of the social caste, and you like someone that's hot and popular, you aren't going to get any.

maybe this video will explain things better

 

[PingSpike]

I always thought "good personality" was girl code for "cock the size of a tree trunk". I mean...why else would they list an attribute that was otherwise so subjective and banal?

 

[ValkyrieofHouston]

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: ValkyrieofHouston

Originally posted by: fritolays
I can be a bit awkward, not the best conversationalist, and show the true inexperienced side of my personality when it comes to dealing with women but I don't think these few faults will be the end of it for me

Wow, well where does a gal start? LOL

Acceptance, a good sense of humor, easy going (no anal tight wads), confidence helps but is not a deal breaker, intelligence a must, must have a job, must be clean and clean up after ones self, LOL...

A guy has got to be fun to be with... otherwise a girl might as well play with her dog! GRIN

I don't think having a lot of money (at least in my opinion) is what is most important in approaching a woman. If she is that shallow you don't need to have her in your life in the first place! But you must at least demonstrate that you are capable of standing on your own two feet, and have a stable job, a little money in the bank, a vehicle... and are able to afford a little fun now and then.

Women who are confident and easy going will see right through BS, and I assure you those kind of women do not like *ssholes and won't tolerate them. It is women who lack self esteem that gravitate toward *ssholes or abusive men.

So, good luck in finding a lady of your choice... hope you find someone for you!

Women don't know what they want. Their hormones control them, but their brains still think theyre in control.

Same for men, but when we let our dicks do the talking, things usually seem to turn out alright.

No, those aren't women and men, those are little girls and little boys! LOL

So, I take it you have been hanging out with little girls lately, or very immature women? 😉