What's the dumbest/stupidest thing you've ever said??

[bigrash]

Everything I say is either dumb or stupid, so pick one.

 

[PenguinPower]

The first Thanksgiving after I married my wife, my mom asked, "Akiko, how do they celebrate Thanksgiving in Japan? Is there any special type of food that we should make this year?"

I think the blank stare and silence lasted for about 45 seconds, until my Mom said, "I'm sorry. I forgot we only celebrate Thanksgiving in North America."

 

[SaDiZTiKStyLeZ]

I don't remember verbatim, but I do remember enough.

My ex was going on about how good looking her mother is for her age. I agreed & she played it up like I didn't agree enough or something. So I took it to the next step in sarcastic tone of "Yea. You're mom is banging, she'd get the dick. I'd fuck the shit out of her! Of course she's damn good looking! While we're at it, I'd fuck both of your sisters too!"
She was momentarily taken aback, but played along with it. She was accustomed to my weird shocking off the wall humor by this point.
I don't think it was that day, but a few days later we were having family dinner.
I don't remember how it came up, but she shared what I said to her mother, father & sister. Fucking awkward & I immediately broke into a sweat. I'm not sure what her point of putting me on the spot like that was all about. But I explained the conversation we were having at the time so her quoting me wasn't so out of context.
Until that point, a mildly small meal I was having, quickly seemed to have been the biggest most time consuming meal I had in my entire life, but I tried to hurry up & finish & make my exit from the table. Went straight to cleaning dishes, then into hiding the rest of the evening. lol

We were together 8 years. I'm not sure I'll be able to find another like her that can put up with my off the wall shit...

 

[7window]

A guy once asked me where the US embassy is here in the US.

 

[Saint Nick]

"You'd be hot if you didn't wear all that makeup,"

 

[Northern Lawn]

I was playing Bad Company 2, conquest mode. It's where you have to capture all the flags and they are either American or Russian (or something like that).

So I just made a comment asking, "Why are there are no Canadian flags?"

Someone answered "Because Canada has never conquered anyone."

So I said, "Canada conquered America in The War of 1812".

They just laughed, LOL!

 

[7window]

I went to a jewish family house and I said "merry christmas" to everyone. They gave me a blank stare. I ask if I said anything wrong.

 

[drum]

If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college. /Lewis Black

 

[Schfifty Five]

how much time you got buddy?
<--- see posts 1 - 13,800.

ROFL.

 

[kranky]

Mine was in this thread: http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=116203 and I'll copy it here.

There are three women in our neighborhood who often hang out together when watching their kids playing in the yard next door. We're not close friends but we all know each other. I was raking leaves on Saturday in our yard and was near where they were standing. One of the women is holding a catalog. We say hello and chit-chat for a minute and they return to their discussion. I can easily hear them talking as I rake.

Mary is about 5'7" 140 a bit chunky
Donna is about 5'3" 110 very thin
Patty is about 5'5" 170 more than a bit chunky

Mary: Donna, I don't know what you're worried about.
Donna: I don't know... I'm not sure that's going to look right.
Patty: It'll look great, Donna. You have the right build for it
Mary: That's a great dress! You should order it.
Donna: I'd have to not eat for a month to get into that dress
Mary: Hey, don't go all anorexic on us!

kranky: Geez, Donna, if anyone goes anorexic it shouldn't be you.

I was trying to throw Donna an off-hand compliment that she didn't need to lose any weight. What it came out like was "You're the only one standing there who isn't a cow." Patty spins around and heads back into the house with the other two following her, and Donna looks back at me over her shoulder with a glare that would freeze a blitzing linebacker.

 

[sandorski]

I asked a girl about 21 or so when she was due. She wasn't.

I had mistaken her for someone else who was newly pregnant.

Sorta did the same to my Sister in Law, then remembered being told a few years earlier that she had her tubes tied. It was awkward, but she was good about it.

 

[clamum]

Oh god I don't even know. Too many to pick from, but my memory is shit so I can't recall any at the moment. Maybe that's a good thing.

 

[IronWing]

Standing on a beach in San Diego: "You know I think this is the same ocean we saw in Los Angeles."

Standing at an overlook on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, directed to a park ranger: "Can you point out Half Dome for me?"

 

[Krazy4Real]

If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college. /Lewis Black

LOL!

 

[rayfieldclement]

I said something about Maxim and Playboy Magazine on the P&N board whether they endorsed pedophillia. I misstated Kim Smith's age and Megan Ewing's age. They were older than I thought.

 

[dud]

About 25 years ago I considered a loan from my CU. I visited my local branch, asked for the loan manager and waited. after the LM greeted me (this is where it goes downhill) I was escorted into her office. After seating ourselves I decided to start our meeting with some "small talk". I asked the LM how long it was until she was "due" (she was overweight).


The LM was NOT pregnant ....

 

[KaOTiK]

At work one day a girl I work with starts talking to me.
She says so guess where Frank took me out too last night (Frank was my best friend).
I said xxxx restaurants name and she goes how did you know?
Not even thinking, I say that is where he takes all his bitches.
It didn't even register I said it till the next day Frank calls me and is like WTF man, she played it off cool and didn't let on at all when talking to me.

In my defense, he ended up having a daughter with her and she (not the daughter) has been nothing but hell for him when they dated and since they broke up. I just tell him I saw it coming and was trying to help him out early on