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What's the difference between an 'emotional affair' and a friend?

B

Bird222

Diamond Member
Watching the show 'Divorce' I had this question. What do you say the difference is between having an 'emotional affair' and having a friend of the opposite sex?
 
"a significant other with jealousy issues."

Haha, truth!

"Men and women cannot be friends. If you have to ask (or think about it), it is."

That's just silly. I have plenty of female friends - no sex, flirting, or anything resembling it included.
 
If you don't know the answer, you're not good relationship material.
But at least you asked, so maybe you're on the path to relationship success.

"Emotional affair" is when an outsider assumes the role of S/O in your mind, and you bond on a level or manner not appropriate for non-spouses. Basically it's because you didn't observe boundaries, or control your thoughts, and let things get too intimate.
 
SaltyNuts said:
"a significant other with jealousy issues."

Haha, truth!

"Men and women cannot be friends. If you have to ask (or think about it), it is."

That's just silly. I have plenty of female friends - no sex, flirting, or anything resembling it included.
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Even if you do flirt with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean you want to have a relationship with them or anything. Flirting is a natural way of also feeling good about yourself, whether with casual banter or flipping your hair. I have many female friends and I flirt with them and they flirt back but its just a normal part of social interaction.
 
In today's society, we want our spouse to be the perfect friend, lover, parent, teammate, etc.
That is impossible. I see nothing wrong with having a friend who is the opposite sex.
 
FeuerFrei said:
If you don't know the answer, you're not good relationship material.
But at least you asked, so maybe you're on the path to relationship success.

"Emotional affair" is when an outsider assumes the role of S/O in your mind, and you bond on a level or manner not appropriate for non-spouses. Basically it's because you didn't observe boundaries, or control your thoughts, and let things get too intimate.
Click to expand...
That's a nice explanation and all but there are people that have close friendships with people of the opposite sex. Are they not supposed to confide in that person?
 
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An emotional affair is when you are getting emotions you need from another person other than your spouse. Typically it happens when someone is withholding emotions from a spouse and that spouse seeks those emotions, whatever they may be, from another person. That could be a friend and it could be something more. It doesn't always lead to direct infidelity.
 
I don't know but some fat girl's husband got really mad at me after becoming friends with her wife -- then girlfriend -- at work. I did not want to tape that.
 
Imp said:
I don't know but some fat girl's husband got really mad at me after becoming friends with her wife -- then girlfriend -- at work. I did not want to tape that.
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So you didn't want to videotape it...sounds like he had a right to be mad though...even if you didn't want to tape the sex.
 
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You get a promotion at work and a big-ass raise. Who do you call first to share the joy?

If you call somebody else before your spouse, that makes me wonder.
 
Bird222 said:
That's a nice explanation and all but there are people that have close friendships with people of the opposite sex. Are they not supposed to confide in that person?
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There is that. Men and women like to tell each other their problems, i.e. confide in the opposite sex. There are reasons for that (but that's a whole 'nother post). Confiding typically involves sharing secrets - private thoughts and feelings, personal issues. Now transparency is good at times, but if you keep turning to the "friend" for counsel, consolation, assuaging of fears, hugs, laughs, one-on-one time, it'll tend to turn intimate. Man + woman, it just feels right. Plus there's risks to you, any time you open up. So choose wisely. Keep those mental barriers up. I'd say it's safest to confide in those you don't feel physical attraction to, someone you feel no need charm/impress, and someone in a relationship (or not in one ... can't decide ... dammit). For some guys - with their tendencies and thought patterns - it may mean no one of the opposite sex. It can be a fine line to walk and some choose to stay safely on one side out of consideration for their S/O.

I've counseled women before with relationship issues and it does tend to foster a connection between us to the detriment of their partner, IMO (even though we lived 126 miles apart). First time she called I asked if she didn't have any girl friends to talk to about her marriage crisis. She said they were all too busy choosing curtain colors. hehehe
 
[DHT]Osiris said:
Men and women cannot be friends. If you have to ask (or think about it), it is.
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I kind of tend to agree with this. I don't really have any close female friends other than my wife. I have casual friendships with some women I work with but it hasn't involved anything more than going to lunch occasionally or walking around the building for exercise or chatting about stupid shit like the Walking Dead or our kids. I also have casual friendships with my wife's friends but no close female relationships other than my sister and my mom (and my wife of course). I'm also not interested in fucking any of these women (other than my wife of course). 😉
 
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