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What's the best way to put inappropriate people in their place?

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Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Geez. You need to start carrying a cassette recorder. When someone says these things, take out the recorder and ask them to repeat what they just said so you have it on record when you make your sexual harrassment report with your employer. I'm absolutely serious.
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The hell with that, carry one with VOX and just hand the HR superiors the tape at the end of each day.

- M4H
 
It doesn't matter if he's not coming onto you sexually, he's creating a sexually hostile workplace by making hostile remarks regarding your figure. These people need to learn that is completely unacceptible in the workplace.
 
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
It doesn't matter if he's not coming onto you sexually, he's creating a sexually hostile workplace by making hostile remarks regarding your figure. These people need to learn that is completely unacceptible in the workplace.
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I am not a confrontational woman,I try to make everybody I come in contact with at work feel good.The running joke about me is that I live in a world where the sucking up never ends,thing is though that I've been here long enough that peers and higher ups know that for the most part that my attitude is the real deal and my style is appreciated in the places that count.Customer service,patient satisfaction,that's what keeps our doors open and I'll do anything I can to make that happen.I like to try to resolve things on a 1:1 basis with peers,that practice has always been the best as far as I'm concerned.I don't expect everybody to like me and can deal with a workplace enemy but the attitude concerns me,this guy has acted like my friend in the past,bought me small gifts,sent me web links about subjects of mutual interest,backed me in tense staff meetings.I don't get this recent stuff.
 
Have you said to him "I do not appreciate you making comments or jokes about my body. I don't find them funny, I find them hurtful. Knock it off!"?

Some people just don't know the difference between funny and hurtful. He sounds like one of these people.
 
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Have you said to him "I do not appreciate you making comments or jokes about my body. I don't find them funny, I find them hurtful. Knock it off!"?

Some people just don't know the difference between funny and hurtful. He sounds like one of these people.
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When things like this are said,I feel so fsking humilated and small I just want to crawl up someplace and die.
 
Perhaps it is that this person honestly thought they meant well and was trying to help?
Not trying to excuse the comments at all, just wondering because you had said that he behaved like a friend before.
Perhaps this person feels like it's his duty to "tell it like it is?"
I have the pleasure of knowing people who do this often.:disgust:
It's hard to say how to quell comments like that. I guess it always depends on the people involved the context, etc.

That really was an awful thing to say though!!!! 🙁
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Have you said to him "I do not appreciate you making comments or jokes about my body. I don't find them funny, I find them hurtful. Knock it off!"?

Some people just don't know the difference between funny and hurtful. He sounds like one of these people.
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When things like this are said,I feel so fsking humilated and small I just want to crawl up someplace and die.
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When we feel this way (and I suspect you and I are very alike in this regard, keeping emotions to ourselves), we need to channel that humiliation into rage against the person who makes us feel so small and helpless. Don't give him this control over your dignity. Since he just hurt you today, you should consider confronting him on it the next chance you get (while the comment is still fresh in his mind, but before he nails you with another remark.) I suspect he's yet another oblivious man who thinks he's a comedian, and would probably be shocked into good behavior by a few words from you, since he seems to think of you as a friend.

 
I think you're too sensitive....it's not like he's calling you fat, skinny is actually a good think. That like complaining about someone calling you pretty, it just doesn't make sense 😛
 
Originally posted by: FreshPrince
I think you're too sensitive....it's not like he's calling you fat, skinny is actually a good think. That like complaining about someone calling you pretty, it just doesn't make sense 😛
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Did you read the comments he's making?
rolleye.gif


- M4H
 
you have to be really insecure to let those people get under your skin. Why should you care what a dumb4ss thinks?

[Edit] They might mean it in a funny way? I know that I make a lot of jokes with my coworkers, doesn't matter about what. And they also make jokes about me so... [/Edit]
 
after reading the whole thread.... there are a lot of crybabies.... "Call the HR..... it's.... sexual harassment!" If someone would make such a joke about me and I would run to our HR guy/lady, I think they would start laughing.
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
today's witty,informative commentary"I just have to ask,looking at your build have you ever wondered if you should have been born male instead of female? You know,you read about chromosome or hormone accidents in the uterus,have you ever wondered?"

I just sat there for a minute stunned..with zero comeback.

I'm tall at 5 ft 9 and I don't dress all foo foo for work but I'm under 130 pounds with long blonde hair and dress and groom like any other normal woman.Have the freaking pod people taken over or what?:Q

This person kinda slides in univinted on convo's concerning health/diet/fitness that are usually enjoyable,spirited and informative with other work peers and snakes these kind of remarks in.
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Those are weird comments. My guess is that he either feels he is "joking around" and has a weird sense of humor or he is subconciously trying to "bring you down" so that he has a better chance at dating you.
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
today's witty,informative commentary"I just have to ask,looking at your build have you ever wondered if you should have been born male instead of female? You know,you read about chromosome or hormone accidents in the uterus,have you ever wondered?"

I just sat there for a minute stunned..with zero comeback.

I'm tall at 5 ft 9 and I don't dress all foo foo for work but I'm under 130 pounds with long blonde hair and dress and groom like any other normal woman.Have the freaking pod people taken over or what?:Q

This person kinda slides in univinted on convo's concerning health/diet/fitness that are usually enjoyable,spirited and informative with other work peers and snakes these kind of remarks in.
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You say to him: "Yea, if I would have been a man, my penis would be much bigger than yours"
 
Originally posted by: SampSon
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
today's witty,informative commentary"I just have to ask,looking at your build have you ever wondered if you should have been born male instead of female? You know,you read about chromosome or hormone accidents in the uterus,have you ever wondered?"

I just sat there for a minute stunned..with zero comeback.

I'm tall at 5 ft 9 and I don't dress all foo foo for work but I'm under 130 pounds with long blonde hair and dress and groom like any other normal woman.Have the freaking pod people taken over or what?:Q

This person kinda slides in univinted on convo's concerning health/diet/fitness that are usually enjoyable,spirited and informative with other work peers and snakes these kind of remarks in.
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You say to him: "Yea, if I would have been a man, my penis would be much bigger than yours"
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All girls already say that to me... in fact some say their clits are bigger....
 
Originally posted by: ndee
after reading the whole thread.... there are a lot of crybabies.... "Call the HR..... it's.... sexual harassment!" If someone would make such a joke about me and I would run to our HR guy/lady, I think they would start laughing.
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Your company has obviously never been sued because of something like that. It's quite common for large companies to have very strict rules about sexual harassment.
 
Originally posted by: ndee
after reading the whole thread.... there are a lot of crybabies.... "Call the HR..... it's.... sexual harassment!" If someone would make such a joke about me and I would run to our HR guy/lady, I think they would start laughing.
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It's repeated harrassment, going on for months. I agree that it should be taken up with the offensive person first, but Geekbabe has a right to work in an environment free from this kind of hostility by coworkers. If it was on the street or in a grocery store, big deal, but this is a hospital, for gods sake.
 
Geekbabe

What does your co-workers do when this guy start his drivel?

I've been in situation where a co-worker was insulted but was (just like you) to stunned to say something back
after a few times it was clear to me that she was to shy to say something back and when it happened again I made it clear to that jackass that his insults were not appreciated and that he should stfu

it's clear to me that the guy is continuing this stuff because HE CAN.
grow a spine or let one of your co-workers step in or take it to HR

Of course we are talking about sue happy America so YMMV



 
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