Originally posted by: mikej007
I had a friend back in the day who was a pathological liar. I mean, this dude lied about EVERYTHING, big or small. Funny part was, he'd tell lies that were easily check-able/debunked. Me and my other friends wanted to start compiling a book of all his lies, because there were just so many. Unfortunately we forgot most of them over the years, but there were some whoppers there.
I decided to stop being his friend after this one, though, it just was the icing on the cake of 8+ years of lies.
A little back story:
I stopped over at his house and was playing some basketball with him in his driveway. He was a short, gremlin looking dude and to my knowledge had no experience/luck with the ladies. He was working some dead end job for IBM (in their shipping dept or something) and he knew I was working towards my CCNA cert.
So we're shooting some hoops, and out of the blue, he says he has to go inside his house and get ready. I ask for what. He says "my company is going to be sending a limo here to get me and then pick up my girl. I'm giving a presentation at the Javits Center tomorrow about OC connections and fiber optic technology to the industry and they're putting us up for free at the Ritz for the weekend." He then proceeds to tell me his "girlfriend" was a Playboy Playmate of the Month for some year (I can't remember) and I could look her up.
My mouth just dropped. We were like 19 at the time, he didnt have any knowledge of networking whatsoever (let alone to be qualified to give a presentation to a group of industry pros at the goddamn Javits Center!) and I had never seen a girl look his way, let alone date him. But now he's pulling an ex-Playmate!
I said okay, went home and never talked to him again after that. I still laugh to myself about that shit.
Try and top that!
I can top that. I knew a guy EXACTLY like that. You could be standing outside with him in the sun, ask him the weather and he'd say it was raining just cause he had to lie.
There are 4 gems he told. One is way too long to type out, but the others are okay.
First a little background. He's a very pudgy short East Indian dude, 23 yrs old at the time and working a summer golf course job with me.
1. Parachuting. His brother was in the cadets. Spencer said his brother was on base in Edmonton and would go parachuting. One of the other guys on our work crew did some jumping and was talking to Spencer about it one day.
Spencer: Oh I've gone parachuting too.
Other guy: Oh?
Spencer: Yeah, I get free jumps with the military when I go out to visit my brother.
Other guy: (knows it's BS at this point). Oh yeah? What altitude do you jump at?
Spencer: Uh.... 5000 feet?
(Apparently 5000 feet is very low to jump from. Military guys do it, but there's no chance in hell the military would let a civvy jump from one of their planes for free).
2. Rower. I used to row for my school's team. I rowed for the season a year or so before the olympics and knew a few of the Canadian rowers who went. I was talking about it at work one day when the olympics were on that summer and he pipes up: Oh I used to row. He's 5'6" and probably 260 lbs... Uh huh...
3. Drug dealer. He said he made friends with this chinese guy who was into drugs and stuff. He said he'd pick up drugs from some guy, go out on the street at night, sell it, then give the money to the guy. He then got promoted and put in charge of the safe where they kept all their stuff, and had a crew working under him. Then the head guy said he was leaving to go back to China and said he was handing the business over to him. Oh and his bonus present: He got a brand new S2000 for it, but he had to keep it in some garage so his parents wouldn't know about it. When asked how much he was selling his stuff for, or even what it was he was selling, he didn't know...
4. Physicist. When I started that job everyone said I should meet Spencer cause he was doing physics at the same university I was going to. I met him, he said he was doing all these classes, I was in them, never saw him, he said he was getting great grades, yet I knew the people who were. He then said he was skipping, then said he was withdrawing.