Whats a passive aggressive person?

[nageov3t]

I thought it was only women that did that. :hmm:

at least in straight relationships, there's some stereotypical/cultural expectation that it's usually the man's role to provide gifts for the woman.

in a gay relationship... fuck you. you want gifts, you get me some first and I'll reciprocate.

 

[RaistlinZ]

Give me examples of what one does please, wiki is too long winded lol.

If you don't know, I'm certainly not going to tell you.

 

[Born2bwire]

Here, you go.

 

[sixone]

So many made-up definitions. Good grief.

Passive/aggressive people pretend to be all nice and helpful, but their actions don't match their words. They'll promise to do something, but then have fourteen excuses - not reasons - why they couldn't get it done.

The key point is actions not matching words.

 

[LOL_Wut_Axel]

at least in straight relationships, there's some stereotypical/cultural expectation that it's usually the man's role to provide gifts for the woman.

in a gay relationship... fuck you. you want gifts, you get me some first and I'll reciprocate.

I think that's the best way to go. But I'm in college, so in no need of complicating things with a serious relationship. Fuck buddies will do for now. ()🙂

 

[jagec]

Here, you go.

Winner.

 

[Baked]

So many made-up definitions. Good grief.

Passive/aggressive people pretend to be all nice and helpful, but their actions don't match their words. They'll promise to do something, but then have fourteen excuses - not reasons - why they couldn't get it done.

The key point is actions not matching words.

That's not passive aggressive. That's just somebody who can't keep their word, having no sense of honor. I hate those people the most.

 

[sixone]

That's not passive aggressive. That's just somebody who can't keep their word, having no sense of honor. I hate those people the most.

The difference is that the P/A person will tell you that they meant to do it, that they wanted to do it, but it's not their fault that they couldn't.

 

[Zorander]

The difference is that the P/A person will tell you that they meant to do it, that they wanted to do it, but it's not their fault that they couldn't.

The main point is the P/A person's intention to aggravate.

 

[sixone]

The main point is the P/A person's intention to aggravate by being passive.

FFY

 

[Imp]

I think the silent treatment counts. There's also standing someone up.

 

[zinfamous]

in a gay relationship... fuck you. you want gifts, you get me some first and I'll reciprocate.

so it's like a chicken/egg standoff every time?

How does that work out?

:hmm:

 

[zinfamous]

So many made-up definitions. Good grief.

Passive/aggressive people pretend to be all nice and helpful, but their actions don't match their words. They'll promise to do something, but then have fourteen excuses - not reasons - why they couldn't get it done.

The key point is actions not matching words.

bullshit

 

[zinfamous]

That's not passive aggressive. That's just somebody who can't keep their word, having no sense of honor. I hate those people the most.

it's also called "lazy."

Sixone is confusing things...yet again.

 

[eits]

Here, you go.

it's like an inception response... defining passive aggression with passive aggression via a passive aggressive site within a post about passive aggression.

 

[BurnItDwn]

I'm passive aggressive and proud of it. Here is what a typical work meeting with me sounds like when someone at the meeting doesn't know me (details changed obviously):

New person: The sky is always green and has red stripes with black plaid overlaid.

Me: The sky is normally blue to grey during the day, black at night possibly with white polka dots, and often may be colored pink to red during sunrise/sunset. Green may occur during events like the northern lights, but that isn't always the case anywhere and certainly isn't commonly seen at this latitude.

New person: You are wrong, I am right. Anyone who disagrees with me is an idiot.

Me: Silent. (This is the passive part).

New person banging his chest from my lack of response: See that proves the sky is always green and has red stripes with black plaid overlaid. This person then proudly speaks loudly during the rest of the meeting and interrupts everyone's points with other nonsense.



Within 10 minutes after the meeting: I email the entire group a current photo of the sky being blue, a calibrated spectrometer analysis of the sky with the blue peak marked, a record of the past 100 years showing the average blue / grey content of the sky during the day (and no green or plaid), an article decribing how the northern lights have never been seen in our location, etc. (This is the aggressive part).

From then on: stupid new person idiot doesn't ever confront me again in a meeting (and often is quiet at any future meetings), everyone respects me, and I get the final say in disagreements from then on.

Yea, this is way better than my explanation... You've got the combination of "smart" and "passive agressive" rather than "crazy" and "passive agressive"

PS, I've seen the sky look somewhat greenish rarely during storms on more than one occasion...

 

[nageov3t]

so it's like a chicken/egg standoff every time?

How does that work out?

:hmm:

with my current boyfriend, I was pretty up-front early on that I'm not a big gift-giver.

I'll give them on special occasions (birthdays, holidays), but on a day-to-day basis, I'm more inclined to show my affection by doing something rather than buying something.

and we both agreed that it was ridiculous for anyone with a penis to feel butthurt over not receiving flowers.

 

[sixone]

bullshit

Nothing to back this up with?

 

[SP33Demon]

I hate it when some people on the internet make stupid threads.

 

[Maximilian]

This thread has amused and educated me :awe:

 

[abaez]

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

 

[Muse]

Give me examples of what one does please, wiki is too long winded lol.

You have a relationship with someone, ongoing. They get pissed off by something you did or said. They don't show it right away. They stew on it for a bit. They harbor the resentment, don't let you know about it. The first symptom that there's an issue is they do something, anything but express their true feelings about whatever it was that upset them. It could be a grouchy remark, a negative sentiment, anything but directly confronting the issue. That's classic passive aggressive behavior.

 

[Schfifty Five]

http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=2241348

Perfect example.

 

[zinfamous]

Nothing to back this up with?

there seem to be two very conflicting definitions in this thread.

The one I have always gone by and am most familiar with, and others tend to agree with me on this--is someone that avoids aggression/conflict through snarky, or deflective comments and actions (leaving un-directed notes to an obviously identified person) that belie their actual annoyance, aggression, or desire to initiate conflict.

Your suggestion is more about someone who is simply lazy or hypocritical, and there are other words and phrases that already define that personality.

I've never once heard of someone who demands action one way, then turns around and causes the same type of problems by utilizing the previous actions as being described as passive aggressive.

 

[Nebbers]

Debra from Everybody Loves Raymond.