What would you do?......

[SheHateMe]

If you guys had a daughter (18) and sent her off to College and she came back at the end of her freshman year pregnant (she kept it from you), what would you do? Would you support her? If yes, how? If no, why? Would you be willing to keep her kid while she's off at College? Pay for the baby's stuff, etc.

Oh...by the way, she's 4 months pregnant.


Just asking.... :whiste:

I'll tell you why I'm asking when I get your answers.


Edit: DOH, I meant to post this in OT. Damn it.

 

[ccbadd]

I'd take care of the child and try to keep her, my daughter, in school. I'd also make her get a job and work her way thru the rest of school. Might even make her go to a cheaper school if she was at a high dollar place. I'd also make the dad own up.

 

[waggy]

tell her i am very dispointed in her. then do my best to take care of the kid and her until she is out of college.

 

[SheHateMe]

What if she was one of those really pretty girls who have no brains and thinks she's going to become a super model in the next 5 years? Basically, a regular job is above her, she'd rather take modeling photos and upload them to facebook.

The father is a singer/rapper that "works" online doing surveys, doesn't go to school, and makes beats on his computer all day.


The daughter also thinks she knows everything about being a mother and that she is ready to carry this child. Her favorite show is "Teen Mom".


How do you show her that what she is about to do will be one of the hardest things in her life. Do you try to help her mature more or do you let her fail on her own?

 

[waggy]

What if she was one of those really pretty girls who have no brains and thinks she's going to become a super model in the next 5 years? Basically, a regular job is above her, she'd rather take modeling photos and upload them to facebook.

The father is a singer/rapper that "works" online doing surveys, doesn't go to school, and makes beats on his computer all day.


The daughter also thinks she knows everything about being a mother. Her favorite show is "Teen Mom".

then should it be a surprise to anyone that she is knocked up? shrug

 

[SheHateMe]

then should it be a surprise to anyone that she is knocked up? shrug

Well, yea.



so, anyway. This thread is about my cousin. :'(

 

[Vic Vega]

Well, yea.



so, anyway. This thread is about my cousin. :'(

So how do you plan to support the child?

 

[SheHateMe]

So how do you plan to support the child?

idk. I told her to let me know if she has complications when she comes back to school. I'll drive her to the doctor and stuff. She doesn't have a car....

I wanted to ask you guys what you think because her father is just devastated. She said he's been crying. She's his eldest child and his only daughter and I have never seen a Dad so proud of his kid before. She's too stupid to realize that she just fucked up her life.

She really thinks she has this under control and is going to continue to have it under control.

I'm sure her father and his wife will take care of her child. They already have 4 boys in the house who are all 10 and under. Dad has his own youngsters...now, he is about to raise his grandkid.

 

[Nintendesert]

It doesn't sound like it's going to end well.

 

[SheHateMe]

It doesn't sound like it's going to end well.

"Yes I'm keeping my baby.. I'm already half way through my pregnancy almost... and I'll be 19 a sophomore in college... I'm not THAT young... too young for a baby but I'm older then being a "teenager." I have have a great family, and an amazing boyfriend that are sticking by my side... it's not going to be easy but I'm going to get through it."

 

[Vic Vega]

This is America. We actually PAY single-mothers to have kids essentially. Do you have any idea what levels of assistance exist today? She could practically not work and have free room and board the rest of her life. I am not saying it will be a good life but she is far from fucked.

Her college will be free now (if it isn't already).

 

[SheHateMe]

This is America. We actually PAY single-mothers to have kids essentially. Do you have any idea what levels of assistance exist today? She could practically not work and have free room and board the rest of her life. I am not saying it will be a good life but she is far from fucked.

Her college will be free now (if it isn't already).

Her parents pay for her schooling. She doesn't get financial aid at all. She is really spoiled and stuck up.

So, I am fairly certain her kid will grow up just like she did.


I just don't understand how you get pregnant at college...especially at my University. The RAs will give you condoms...a whole thing of em. And they're Trojan Brand. Like...you'd NEVER need to go to the store to get condoms...

 

[lotus503]

idk. I told her to let me know if she has complications when she comes back to school. I'll drive her to the doctor and stuff. She doesn't have a car....

I wanted to ask you guys what you think because her father is just devastated. She said he's been crying. She's his eldest child and his only daughter and I have never seen a Dad so proud of his kid before. She's too stupid to realize that she just fucked up her life.

She really thinks she has this under control and is going to continue to have it under control.

I'm sure her father and his wife will take care of her child. They already have 4 boys in the house who are all 10 and under. Dad has his own youngsters...now, he is about to raise his grandkid.

You can't save or fix someone that simply doesn't get it. It's hard to say what I would do, I have 3 girls its one of my worst nightmares.

I know what I would like to think I would do. And that's be there for her, be her dad but thats it. She is quitting school or figuring out a way to go and be a full time parent. The reason is she simply is not ready to face reality and be an adult or she is simply too stupid.

At any future point she demonstrated a recovery from such juvenile behavior, then I would help her with her educational future, but until then it would be a waste and more heartbreak.

 

[sunzt]

there is only one way to teach what fail means...

 

[nextJin]

She has all the support see needs in the form of welfare assistance and her boyfriend is the next JayZ so I don't see the problem.

All joking aside I would do the exact same thing my dad did with me. He pretty much told me I can live with them as long as I want (my brother didn't move out until he was 28 I joined the Army at 17) but after I move out I am not allowed back unless I am visiting or become deathly ill. The man was always serious and I not once questioned his intent.

Preparing kids for the real world are what parents are for and when my kids become of age I'll be doing the same thing. Nothing is stopping your cousin from doing online college at a regionally accredited school to accept responsibility for her mistakes. Tons of single mothers work 2 jobs and goto online college (the problem is that they go to bullshit diploma mills and not something accepted).

EDIT: Is the boyfriend accepting of this situation and supportive? Why can't he care for the child if she wants to continue to attend a campus school?

I think it is actually a great thing that she wants to finish school, she still has the drive but that could change. She has some hard choices going forward that is for sure.

 

[Londo_Jowo]

You can't save or fix someone that simply doesn't get it. It's hard to say what I would do, I have 3 girls its one of my worst nightmares.

I know what I would like to think I would do. And that's be there for her, be her dad but thats it. She is quitting school or figuring out a way to go and be a full time parent. The reason is she simply is not ready to face reality and be an adult or she is simply too stupid.

At any future point she demonstrated a recovery from such juvenile behavior, then I would help her with her educational future, but until then it would be a waste and more heartbreak.

I think I would be the same way if my daughters were in the same situation. There's a reason they call it tough love.

 

[pcslookout]

One of cousins keeps having babies

She will never learn and is on her 4th child. Her mom really loves her. My cousin doesn't take care of the 14 year old, 5 year old and 13 month old she has now.

 

[brianmanahan]

she should do the logical thing, get married to the father

 

[_Rick_]

My key point of inquiry would be why she wasn't able to tell me so at an earlier moment.
Because 4 month in it's too late to change her mind.

Then I'd tell her to prepare a (time and money) budget for the next two years, which I'd proofread for consistency. Once we can get a budget approved, that's the worst bit dealt with.

As non-direct family, I would tell her to eat dirt. But that's because geographically, I'm about a 1000km away from any non-direct family, and haven't seen them for three years.

 

[BUTCH1]

Better tell the daddy that doing surveys and making beats isn't make enough$$ to amount to jack squat, he needs to enter the real workforce NOW..This exact same thing happened to my cousin, his daughter is 21, got knocked up but "isn't sure" who the father is, geez kids, birth control is easily obtainable these days, have your fun but for Christ's sake can you be so ignorant to realize you stand a really good chance at getting pregnant?..

 

[dank69]

I would take care of her (and the baby) no questions asked except to make sure she got on the pill immediately once medically cleared to do so. I would do my best to make sure her mistake did not prevent her from finishing college.

(Of course, MY daughter will be on the pill as soon as she hits puberty, but that is neither here nor there)

EDIT: this was a response to the OP before reading the rest of the thread. After reading the rest, my answer is that I would not have raised a spoiled brat to begin with. And BC. FFS why not on BC. Seems like the retard wanted to get knocked up. Parenting fail.

 

[dank69]

My key point of inquiry would be why she wasn't able to tell me so at an earlier moment.
Because 4 month in it's too late to change her mind.

Then I'd tell her to prepare a (time and money) budget for the next two years, which I'd proofread for consistency. Once we can get a budget approved, that's the worst bit dealt with.

As non-direct family, I would tell her to eat dirt. But that's because geographically, I'm about a 1000km away from any non-direct family, and haven't seen them for three years.

km? What kind of third world country do you live in?

 

[SheHateMe]

EDIT: Is the boyfriend accepting of this situation and supportive? Why can't he care for the child if she wants to continue to attend a campus school?

I think it is actually a great thing that she wants to finish school, she still has the drive but that could change. She has some hard choices going forward that is for sure.

She is the kind of person that puts all her info on FB and Twitter. What i've gathered about her "situation" (and thats what she calls it) is that they both say they will take care of the child while at school.

The thing that I don't get is that she thinks this will be easy.


He say's they're "in love" and "best friends". Yet, she is at home this summer is he is far away at his home chilling while she complains online that she can't wear her nice clothes because she is going to get fat, her back hurts, this, that...etc

She's already crash landing.

 

[sixone]

I'd stay far far away from this mess, until and unless the kid is in need of food, shelter, or care.

Be ready help when and ONLY when your help is NEEDED. The more you take this burden from this dingbat and her father, the harder you make it for her to learn from the consequences of her actions.

 

[SheHateMe]

I'd stay far far away from this mess, until and unless the kid is in need of food, shelter, or care.

Be ready help when and ONLY when your help is NEEDED. The more you take this burden from this dingbat and her father, the harder you make it for her to learn from the consequences of her actions.

Well yea, I don't know her that well...I only offered to drive her if she needed. She's living off campus and being pregnant can make you vulnerable sometimes. What if she is having pains, gets sick, or has a hard time walking to class?


I can atleast help her with that. Im not mean enough to leave her hanging while she's carrying her baby.