Some background needed to understand:
Me and my GF have been going out for about a year and a half. From day one, before we were even going out, her mother has never liked me. Because I'm not rich enough, I dont have a car, I'm basically not good enough for her daughter in any way. She thinks I lead a secret life, etc etc...Granted she was going through a divorce at the same time and wasnt too happy with our entire gender I'm sure, but it doesnt change the fact that she has never considered me a person, only a number. I've been criticized to my gf from her for not being amibitious enough, from not coming from a good enough family, etc. You name it. But face to face, its always smiles. But overall, she is a VERY critical person, even to my GF.
I'm 24, she's 20. I've long since moved out from my old apt where I grew up. I was born poor and Ive managed to bring myself squarely into the middle class solely on my own. I'm the child of a housepainter and a secretary. Both of her parents are pharmacists, live in a huge house, I could even play football in her backyard. I grew up in a family of four in a one bedroom apt in the middle of flushing, queens, which is quite possibly one of the most disgusting places in the universe.
Because I'm a city boy, and I live in such an urban area, I dont need a car, not to mention rent and general cost of living around here is so sky high that a car is quite simply a luxury, and since everything is walked to, and theres nowhere to park, its nowhere near a necessity. Where she lives, you are absolutely stranded and isolated without one. She used to have a car herself, till it got wrecked by some dick that cut her off on the drive back from my place.
Ive long since graduated, but she's still in college. So right now, she's currently on her winter break. I havent even had a chance to see her since she gets back.
I really, really, really want to see her. But I quite simply can't swallow my pride anymore by going to see her in LI. Every time I have to be in her house with her mother around I feel like 3/5ths of a person. Ive been discriminated against for being poor quite often when I was a kid, but I thought those times were over, since I'm not even close to poor anymore. But her mom still thinks I'm some sort of brokeass.
Therefore, I absolutely refuse to belittle myself, and at the same time reinforce the false stereotype that I'm a broke ass, by going there and having her borrow her moms car so we can do anything but sit under parental supervision. She's made previous comments on how she wished she never bought my gf her car, because all she does is chauffer me around, when I have never, not even ONCE, asked her to drive me anywhere.
She expects me to come one of these days, but right now Im just stalling. Its also a 3 hour trip each way for me to go see her, so that would be 6 hours of the day on the train. I absolutely can not sleep over.
Basically I have three choices, and I lose either way..
1) I can suck it up, go to her place, feel like a teenager again, and sit there all the while have her mom and grandmother think about what a loser I am because I dont have a car. Even if I am getting one in a month or two, I really dont want to show up there again until I do have one.
2) I can have her come here to my own apt, which she probably wouldnt be allowed to do anyway. But in that case, I wouldnt be the gentleman, perfect knight in shining armor, and I lose brownie points just the same.
3) I can tell her that basically, we cant see each other until she gets back to school on the 16th. Then I'm the uncaring boyfriend to her, and her mom is only going to think even more that I have a secret life.
Is there any way I can actually find something positive in this situation? I really love my GF to death, from the bottom of my heart, but I just cant deal with her mom anymore. Even if her attitude has improved lately since the divorce, I will never forget until the day I die how I was treated like a potential bank account at first, and then a dirtbag who is going to drag her daughter down from the upper middle class, etc etc
Cliff notes:
1) Her mom thinks I suck in every way
2) Shes still in college on winter vacation and we want to see each other
3) I cant deal with the ego blow anymore of going to her house
4) Wtf can I do?
NO PICS! Dont even ask.
Geez, I feel like I'm stuck in meet the parents. I'm nothing but a good bf to her, I treat her with the utmost love and respect, but I just can't win when it comes to her parents. Not to mention I live in the city and she's a rich girl from long island. 😛
Me and my GF have been going out for about a year and a half. From day one, before we were even going out, her mother has never liked me. Because I'm not rich enough, I dont have a car, I'm basically not good enough for her daughter in any way. She thinks I lead a secret life, etc etc...Granted she was going through a divorce at the same time and wasnt too happy with our entire gender I'm sure, but it doesnt change the fact that she has never considered me a person, only a number. I've been criticized to my gf from her for not being amibitious enough, from not coming from a good enough family, etc. You name it. But face to face, its always smiles. But overall, she is a VERY critical person, even to my GF.
I'm 24, she's 20. I've long since moved out from my old apt where I grew up. I was born poor and Ive managed to bring myself squarely into the middle class solely on my own. I'm the child of a housepainter and a secretary. Both of her parents are pharmacists, live in a huge house, I could even play football in her backyard. I grew up in a family of four in a one bedroom apt in the middle of flushing, queens, which is quite possibly one of the most disgusting places in the universe.
Because I'm a city boy, and I live in such an urban area, I dont need a car, not to mention rent and general cost of living around here is so sky high that a car is quite simply a luxury, and since everything is walked to, and theres nowhere to park, its nowhere near a necessity. Where she lives, you are absolutely stranded and isolated without one. She used to have a car herself, till it got wrecked by some dick that cut her off on the drive back from my place.
Ive long since graduated, but she's still in college. So right now, she's currently on her winter break. I havent even had a chance to see her since she gets back.
I really, really, really want to see her. But I quite simply can't swallow my pride anymore by going to see her in LI. Every time I have to be in her house with her mother around I feel like 3/5ths of a person. Ive been discriminated against for being poor quite often when I was a kid, but I thought those times were over, since I'm not even close to poor anymore. But her mom still thinks I'm some sort of brokeass.
Therefore, I absolutely refuse to belittle myself, and at the same time reinforce the false stereotype that I'm a broke ass, by going there and having her borrow her moms car so we can do anything but sit under parental supervision. She's made previous comments on how she wished she never bought my gf her car, because all she does is chauffer me around, when I have never, not even ONCE, asked her to drive me anywhere.
She expects me to come one of these days, but right now Im just stalling. Its also a 3 hour trip each way for me to go see her, so that would be 6 hours of the day on the train. I absolutely can not sleep over.
Basically I have three choices, and I lose either way..
1) I can suck it up, go to her place, feel like a teenager again, and sit there all the while have her mom and grandmother think about what a loser I am because I dont have a car. Even if I am getting one in a month or two, I really dont want to show up there again until I do have one.
2) I can have her come here to my own apt, which she probably wouldnt be allowed to do anyway. But in that case, I wouldnt be the gentleman, perfect knight in shining armor, and I lose brownie points just the same.
3) I can tell her that basically, we cant see each other until she gets back to school on the 16th. Then I'm the uncaring boyfriend to her, and her mom is only going to think even more that I have a secret life.
Is there any way I can actually find something positive in this situation? I really love my GF to death, from the bottom of my heart, but I just cant deal with her mom anymore. Even if her attitude has improved lately since the divorce, I will never forget until the day I die how I was treated like a potential bank account at first, and then a dirtbag who is going to drag her daughter down from the upper middle class, etc etc
Cliff notes:
1) Her mom thinks I suck in every way
2) Shes still in college on winter vacation and we want to see each other
3) I cant deal with the ego blow anymore of going to her house
4) Wtf can I do?
NO PICS! Dont even ask.
Geez, I feel like I'm stuck in meet the parents. I'm nothing but a good bf to her, I treat her with the utmost love and respect, but I just can't win when it comes to her parents. Not to mention I live in the city and she's a rich girl from long island. 😛
