What would be a reasonable price to charge my dad for rent?

[blinblue]

In my own personal relationship with my parents, if they needed a place to stay, they'd always be more than welcome at my house. However, everyone's circumstances are different. I would imagine with many people regardless of how you do it, it will be awkward. However, here's an idea to that might make things smoother. If you (or you parent) feel that there needs to be some form of payment, perhaps instead of considering it a monthly rent payment, set up an Education Savings Account for your kid (if you have one) and have the "rent" go into that account. That way they are providing for your child's future and everyone feels good.

I can imagine having a parent move in can be stressful (and very likely a poor idea), so lets try to make something tangibly good come out of the arrangement. That might help counter any ill-will that may arise.

 

[angminas]

I don't know anything about your other thread, so this is just based on what you've said here. If he's old enough to have a grown son and he just got evicted from a place he was renting with a roommate, it seems possible that he's got some issues which would affect this decision. That said...

If he was anything but the most horrible or deadbeat of dads, if he's got his act decently together (doesn't shoot smack, start a lot of fights, etc) and if you don't desperately need the money, I'd say let him stay for free. There would have to be a REALLY good reason to accept rent from your own father, especially if he's disabled.

Unless there's something important we don't know, him charging you rent when you were 18 is NOTHING like you charging him rent now. Generally speaking, it's actually a parent's duty to require their kids to start contributing to the household finances at a certain age, which would vary by situation. If they don't, they're not teaching you how to grow up and get along in the real world. By contrast, if he wasn't the worst dad in seven states, you owe him a huge debt which you can never repay.

It doesn't always help someone to hand them something, which is what the first paragraph is about...would you somehow actually harm your dad by giving him free rent (enabling his alcoholism or something), or would it keep you from fulfilling other very important responsibilities (like if your dad constantly picks fights with your wife, or you're way behind on your mortgage and need to rent the room before you lose the house)?

If not, let him stay for free, have a good attitude about it, and request that he do the same. Being a man isn't about what you can get away with, what you're owed, how well you've been treated, or how much you can justify yourself...it's about doing the best you can do and being the best you can be.

If you're not willing to follow that advice- charge $250. Include utilities (life's too short to haggle over this stuff, especially with family), but request that he conserve. Also let him know that this will be fairly modified if your utilities change and it affects him. If you spend $30 a month on a new movie package, ask him to pay $5 more unless he absolutely never watches it.

 

[ShadowOfMyself]

I knew people would give him crap for an answer like that but it's reality. I think deciding to be a parent is one of the most selfish things you can do. Why? The kid did not ask to be born. A couple decides to have a kid (not counting adoption), because they want to extend their bloodline (long term) and have something to play with and take care of (shorter term). I really don't like it when parents give their kids a guilt trip like the kid asked to be a responsibility.

Finally someone that shares my point of view... Before you decide to be a parent, think carefully about this

That said, I cant imagine charging my dad, its just... I dont know, it would feel wrong, considering all hes done for me

Then again, I dont know anything about the relationship between the OP and his dad, so rent might be justified

 

[Slapstick]

I can just about guarantee that you'll want him out of the house 10 min after he's moved in. As the old saying goes you can never move home, the same holds for parents. (a kingdom can't have 2 kings and the old king doesn't give up with out a fight) With that said, if I was you I would do everything possible to get him back on his feet and out the door before it costs you your marriage. Just charge him enough to cover the increase in expenses, i.e. percentage of the utilities, food, etc. That way both of you don't feel he is freeloading but at the same time he can save money faster to get his own place. You'll both be happier the quicker he's on his feet and out the door.

 

[Tiamat]

Depending on how much you need the money and are close to him...

500$ incl. utilities is a good starting zone. If you feel the room is less than what he used to have, you can lower the price accordingly.

 

[GrumpyMan]

I would charge him what he charged you for giving you life, raising you and making you the man you are. How much was that a month?

 

[Gillbot]

. . . but then give him the first 17 years free.

free, I know it sucks but I can't imagine charging family in need for this. But that's just me. That or 1 million dollars and give him the austin powers dr. evil pose.

these ^

How about rent free, he pays for utilities?

but more specifically this ^

 

[Old Hippie]

I would charge him what he charged you for giving you life, raising you and making you the man you are. How much was that a month?

I was his responsibility, lame excuse

Apparently not enough?

 

[Elganja]

I would charge him what he charged you for giving you life, raising you and making you the man you are. How much was that a month?

this

 

[oddyager]

I knew people would give him crap for an answer like that but it's reality. I think deciding to be a parent is one of the most selfish things you can do. Why? The kid did not ask to be born. A couple decides to have a kid (not counting adoption), because they want to extend their bloodline (long term) and have something to play with and take care of (shorter term). I really don't like it when parents give their kids a guilt trip like the kid asked to be a responsibility.

SAWYER - I agree with others and think you should charge him $250-300 so he feels like he's paying something but it's much less than his other place so he has extra spending money.

I hope that mentality applies to just the awful parents of the world because I honestly don't believe for one second being a parent, a decent one, is a selfish act. Yes, you're right this is about starting a family and "extending your bloodline" as you put it, but how can you paint that in a negative light? It's about raising the kid, watching him or her grow, learning from their mistakes, and hoping the lessons they've learned living under your watch helps them succeed.

That said, I agree parents should never pull a guilt trip on their kids but at the same time I believe kids have an obligation to take care of their parents when it is their time of need. This shouldn't have to be said at all. I know my father would never ask for a handout and would probably offer to pay rent. If times were tight I'm sure we would have worked something out. Otherwise I would not accept it and either way I would do everything possible to get him back on his feet again.

 

[MJinZ]

I hope that mentality applies to just the awful parents of the world because I honestly don't believe for one second being a parent, a decent one, is a selfish act. Yes, you're right this is about starting a family and "extending your bloodline" as you put it, but how can you paint that in a negative light? It's about raising the kid, watching him or her grow, learning from their mistakes, and hoping the lessons they've learned living under your watch helps them succeed.

That said, I agree parents should never pull a guilt trip on their kids but at the same time I believe kids have an obligation to take care of their parents when it is their time of need. This shouldn't have to be said at all. I know my father would never ask for a handout and would probably offer to pay rent. If times were tight I'm sure we would have worked something out. Otherwise I would not accept it and either way I would do everything possible to get him back on his feet again.

Exactly. Come on, we don't know Sawyer's parents.

If your dad was Hitler - would you charge him rent? Hell Yes!

If your dad was Mother Theresa - would you have huge issues? Hell Yes! But you probably wouldn't charge her rent.

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But I hold my judgment because this situation just sounds strange. If your father sucks, you probably wouldn't even let him back into your life. If your father was even tolerable or meh, you still wouldn't charge him rent. Just because. Or you're a douchebag.

 

[Sentrosi2121]

There is nothing selfish about being a parent. It's one of the most rewarding jobs ever. It's my opinion and no one will sway me from it.

I would say that utilities is acceptable. My wife and I bought the side-by-side duplex from my MiL shortly after we got married with the intent that she would pay half the taxes. Well, about 4 months after we did that, she stopped paying her half of the taxes. But she more than makes up for it when it comes to taking care of the kids when needed.

 

[MJinZ]

There is nothing selfish about being a parent. It's one of the most rewarding jobs ever. It's my opinion and no one will sway me from it.

I would say that utilities is acceptable. My wife and I bought the side-by-side duplex from my MiL shortly after we got married with the intent that she would pay half the taxes. Well, about 4 months after we did that, she stopped paying her half of the taxes. But she more than makes up for it when it comes to taking care of the kids when needed.

Lol? Tell that to the parents who pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for fertility treatment and surrogacy to have their OWN babies.

Being a parent is like 99% a selfish decision. It's instinctual. It isn't a "belief", it is simply a fact of procreation. You MUST look out for your own DNA.

The 1% of unselfish parents are the ones who take in an orphan or adopt someone who is much older (teenager probably), where they would have almost none of the benefits of feeling gushy inside over having a cute child but simply do it for the charitable nature of their hearts.

 

[Madwand1]

I think deciding to be a parent is one of the most selfish things you can do. Why? The kid did not ask to be born. A couple decides to have a kid (not counting adoption), because they want to extend their bloodline (long term) and have something to play with and take care of (shorter term).

How many kids have you raised?

The perspective you gain by actually being a parent, is vastly different. You learn then what sacrifices are necessary for raising a child, and how much it changes your life and self. It's pretty much the opposite of the sort of selfishness you imply. In fact, more selfish people generally won't have kids, just because they don't want to make the necessary sacrifices.

And for most people, it's not a matter of selfish choice or not. Having and raising children is just a fact of life. Taking responsibility and helping your parents when they age is another. Having a good relationship with your parents when it comes time to raise your own children and then benefiting from their time and experience is another.

 

[NFS4]

If it were my dad, absolutely nothing. My parents raised me, put me through college, bought my first car, and have always been there for me.

If they needed some place to crash for a few months while they were trying to get back on their feet, I'd feel like an absolute douchebag for charging them.

 

[JTsyo]

He was paying $500 a month for 1/2 an apt and you just renting him a room, right? So I would say $200. Is this a stop gap until he finds another place or will he be staying with you for awhile?

 

[Anubis]

If it were my dad, absolutely nothing. My parents raised me, put me through college, bought my first car, and have always been there for me.

If they needed some place to crash for a few months while they were trying to get back on their feet, I'd feel like an absolute douchebag for charging them.

This, if he insists on giving you money just tell him to help pay for food

 

[ViviTheMage]

Depends, do you want him living at your house for ever, or just an interim, until he finds his own place?

 

[dabuddha]

Wow

How about 0?

 

[soulcougher73]

So he doesn't have much money.

I would have a hard time charging a family member if they were in need, especially a parent, as I know all of the sacrifices most parents make.

This. They gave you free room and board for 18 years, time to get a little back. Maybe let him save up some of his money to get his own place in a year or something.

 

[Modelworks]

Most parents wouldn't want to stay completely free because they would feel they were a burden to their children but telling them they can buy groceries now and then or help out with gas and stuff helps to alleviate that.

Decades ago this was not uncommon. People look at old houses that have 5+ bedrooms and 3000sq. ft. and think those are big houses but during that era it was normal for grandparents, parents, children to all live in the same home. There were no retirement homes or disability so if someone became sick or too old to work the family took care of them.

Appears to be making a comeback

 

[SearchMaster]

I'm in the "collect rent, invest it secretly for his future" camp.

 

[totalnoob]

anywhere from $0-250

 

[gooseman]

Yeah I would. I am not loaded and I work my ass off, he has no bills but rent, and he charged me rent when I was 18-19 and living at his house.

I was going to ask, as a smartass answer, what he charged you but now that I see he did, I'd charge him the same thing!!!

 

[alkemyst]

you guys sharing a bed?