What was your worst date?

[Rudy Toody]

Some years ago, I am working evenings as a programming instructor at a trade school. The receptionist, I'll call her "Susie," is a knockout blond. So, naturally, I ask her out for a Saturday night date.

After dining and dancing to the wee hours, I ask Susie if she'd like to come to my place for a nightcap. She says, "Yes," and I think, "YES! YES! YES!"

At the time, I am renting a room in a 5-level house on Seattle's Queen Anne Hill. The front door is on the 2nd floor from the top.

We proceed down a half-flight of stairs to the living room, through the kitchen, down another half-flight, down a hallway past my room, and down another half-flight to the rec room.

I get her settled, put a jazz LP on the stereo, and tell her I have some champagne chilling and that I will be right back.

I go back up the half-flight, down the hallway, up the next half-flight, and get the bottle of champagne and two chilled glasses from the refrigerator.

Now, I go back down the half-flight and down the hallway. By this time I'm so excited that I'm almost skipping. When I go down the last half-flight, I forget about the low beam at the foot of the stairs. SMACK! I hit my head and I'm out like a light.

When I come to, Susie is nowhere around. The champagne bottle is intact on the carpet and the glasses are unbroken. I've been out for a while, because the jazz LP is no longer playing.

The following Monday, I go to work early so I can talk to Susie before she gets off shift. When I walk through the door, Susie looks up, sees me and turns pale white. An absolute look of terror is on her face.

"I thought you were dead," she says. "I walked home."

"Didn't you check my pulse to see if I was still alive?"

"Are you kidding? I don't touch dead people!"

 

[ScottFern]

Are you serious?

 

[Rudy Toody]

Yes. This actually happened.

 

[BrianH1]

haha sweet post.

had been talking to this girl for a while, it was right after a break up, and she was cute so i decided dinner and a movie. Well the girl had NO personality, i had to keep the conversation going the whole time. She has always been really shy, but im still good friends with her and after a boob job and a little personality she is hot, but sitll doesnt have enough ego for me.

edit:. After i brought her back home around 10, her parents were like " we are going to bed now, so you guys can have the house to yourself", but i made up some cheezball thing about having to work the next morning. still feel kinda ****** about that. but oh well a touch of grey kinda suits you anyway.

 

[StevenYoo]

Originally posted by: Rudy Toody
Yes. This actually happened.

ouch man.

hell of a story though! :thumbsup:

 

[Fritzo]

My worst date involved my date vomiting out my car window while on the expressway doing 55 mph. It left a vile streak of seafood down the side of my car, and it ate away my paint.

 

[JSFLY]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
My worst date involved my date vomiting out my car window while on the expressway doing 55 mph. It left a vile streak of seafood down the side of my car, and it ate away my paint.

I hope she wasn't vomiting at the sight of your face.

 

[stars]

Great post!

I once vommited in a girls mouth (was young and drunk). We actually continued dating for a while afterwards. Have worse stories but can not post them on this forum.

 

[MisterJackson]

Edited for a better one:

There was this SMOKING hot blond who I'd known since middle school, but never had the balls to talk to. We always saw each other, but I never even thought she knew I was alive. Then in high school she dated a friend of mine and her and I became good friends that way.

Time passed and she was single again. It was cool to date her as that good friend moved away. She showed up one day at my house and said "I want to go out with you.". I looked around for the people hiding in the bushes with cameras getting ready to have a good laugh, but she was dead serious. She eventually became a coke whore , but at the time she wasn't.....but I digress.

Anyway, my first car was a Cadillac Cimmaron. A real POS, but it was still a Caddy, and PAID FOR. The big problem was driving during a bad rainstorm. The sunroof would leak on the passenger side whenever you turned left.

So, forgeting this little bit of information as all the blood in my body had gone south permanently when around her I took her to dinner.

Thunderstorm. Her hair and makeup......these two things DO NOT mix. And adding laughter at her expense only seemed to compound the problem!

Needless to say she made me take her home. She forgave me though, and I got a second chance, and a third, and a fourth, and a........

 

[49erinnc]

Junior year in college, I had a blind date. She showed up at my place where we departed for dinner. Really hit it off great at dinner and because it had gotten pretty late, we opted to just come back to my place to watch TV/talk. So we're sitting there on the couch watching TV when I accidentally hit "Play" on the remote. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to take out the highly explicit pr0n tape that I had in from the night before. So one minute, we're hitting it off great and watching a movie on TV, only to have her staring at some chick taking a money shot to the face the next minute.

Needless to say, I was horrified with embarrassment. And I did what any 21 year old guy would do: blamed it on my buddies who I said were over there the night before watching it while I was studying. She left shortly after that and it was the last time we went out.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Rudy Toody
Yes. This actually happened.

wow.



worst date i have ever had was nowhere near that. I was set up on ablind date.

we were going to meet up with another couple at a local bar. I walk in sit down and order a beer and dinner (cheeseburger and half a order of chicken wings (3 wings)). the girl walks in and sits down about 10 minutes after me.

we all have a beer in front of us and she says "oh i think drinking is caused by the devil" and she orders a salad.

well the food comes out. i get a huge sandwich. she says "eating meat is evil. cows have feeling too you know!". to which i say " damn then you are not going to like that i have a dead deer in my truck i shot this afternoon eh?"

she looked like she was going to kill me.

she got up and left saying there was no use staying. we all just said by and went back to drinking and eating.

fun fun fun

 

[Xyo II]

That has to be the worst date I've ever read about :laugh:

 

[BrianH1]

Originally posted by: 49erinnc
Junior year in college, I had a blind date. She showed up at my place where we departed for dinner. Really hit it off great at dinner and because it had gotten pretty late, we opted to just come back to my place to watch TV/talk. So we're sitting there on the couch watching TV when I accidentally hit "Play" on the remote. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to take out the highly explicit pr0n tape that I had in from the night before. So one minute, we're hitting it off great and watching a movie on TV, only to have her staring at some chick taking a money shot to the face the next minute.

Needless to say, I was horrified with embarrassment. And I did what any 21 year old guy would do: blamed it on my buddies who I said were over there the night before watching it while I was studying. She left shortly after that and it was the last time we went out.

hahahahahhahahaahha

 

[KarenMarie]

A blind date set up by mutual friends.

I hear there are really nice places to eat in Memphis, so I make the drive from Nashville.

I get to this guys house and it is really sparsely decorated. I go in and sit on the couch and this guy is watching the Olympics. We sit for 1/2 an hour or so... he doesn't offer me a drink or anything. I ask to use the bathroom. The fridge has pics of a woman and kids magnetted to it. A few minutes later, the phone rings. He takes it in the kitchen, leaving me in the living room to watch the Olympics by myself. I hear him screaming.... fvk you!!! You left, you are getting nothing!!! Bring my kids back, you b!tch!! Slams the phone down, comes back to the living room and sits on the couch like nothing happened.

I drove a LONG way and am starving, so.... Finally I am like... uh, are we going for dinner? He is disappointed that we don't get to watch more teevee. He insists we take his car. Fine. He drives like 10 miles an hour and the whole time he is looking in the rear view mirror. I did not realize until later that he was looking at himself in it.

We get to the restaurant. He parks four blocks away, on a side street, so he doesnt have to spend the $5.00 parking. I wait for him to open the door, but he does not at first. So, I wait another few seconds. Finally, he opens the door and walks thru it himself. I roll my eyes. He is not paying attention. We sit, I look at the menu. the waitress comes and he immediately order for both of us. Well, he ordered one pizza and tells the waitress we are gonna split it. The pizza arrives and I cannot even identify half the stuff on it, so end up scraping it all off and eating crust and sauce.

the whole time... this guy is talking about how fit he is, how much he runs, how much he loves his hair, how often woman turn their heads to look at him when he walks by. Understand, this is a skinny little guy who might be fit from running ... but he is still a skinny little short guy! I lost count of how many time I looked at my watch during dinner.

Finally the check arrives. The waitress puts it on the table in front of him. He does not make any attempt to pay it... doesnt even lift it to look at it. So, after another 10 minutes or so, the waitress starts clearing the table in a hint that it is Saturday night, and she needs to turn the table to make some money. I can stand it no more and reach for it myself. He says nothing. I take out my wallet and he says.... "Oh, would you like to split that? I will pay my half" I almost choked right at the table. I said I would pay, he could just leave the tip... I told him the check was $25.00. He took out TWO one dollar bills to leave on the table and got up to leave. I made sure he watched me take out another $5.00 to add to it.

We leave, again he opens the door and walks thru it... I have to put my hand out to stop it from hitting me.

We get to the car. I stand at it an wait for him to open it. He clicks the remote and opens HIS door. I wait. He gets in and shouts... "It's open" I shout back, "It may be unlocked, but it certainly isn't open!" .... nothing... so I get in and slam the door. He starts the engine but it is another two minutes while he adjust the mirror, fluffs his Roger Daltrey hair and then pulls out. There is silence all the way back and I can only think of my long drive home.

We get to his house, I get my keys out and head for my car. He says "you are not coming in?" I say... really sarcastically... "No, I don't think so". He says... "You mean it is Saturday night and I am gonna spend the night alone?" I mumble something about a whore house and a fitful of hundreds and take off.

On the long drive home, I call my friend who set this up and b!tch her out.

For almost two weeks this guy kept calling me and emailing me wanting to know why I left so early and if I would go out with him again. When finally told him that I thought he was an ill mannered dick, he was surprised. He spent another week emailing me, trying to convince me that I was wrong.


Hahaha!!!

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
A blind date set up by mutual friends.

I hear there are really nice places to eat in Memphis, so I make the drive from Nashville.

I get to this guys house and it is really sparsely decorated. I go in and sit on the couch and this guy is watching the Olympics. We sit for 1/2 an hour or so... he doesn't offer me a drink or anything. I ask to use the bathroom. The fridge has pics of a woman and kids magnetted to it. A few minutes later, the phone rings. He takes it in the kitchen, leaving me in the living room to watch the Olympics by myself. I hear him screaming.... fvk you!!! You left, you are getting nothing!!! Bring my kids back, you b!tch!! Slams the phone down, comes back to the living room and sits on the couch like nothing happened.

I drove a LONG way and am starving, so.... Finally I am like... uh, are we going for dinner? He is disappointed that we don't get to watch more teevee. He insists we take his car. Fine. He drives like 10 miles an hour and the whole time he is looking in the rear view mirror. I did not realize until later that he was looking at himself in it.

We get to the restaurant. He parks four blocks away, on a side street, so he doesnt have to spend the $5.00 parking. I wait for him to open the door, but he does not at first. So, I wait another few seconds. Finally, he opens the door and walks thru it himself. I roll my eyes. He is not paying attention. We sit, I look at the menu. the waitress comes and he immediately order for both of us. Well, he ordered one pizza and tells the waitress we are gonna split it. The pizza arrives and I cannot even identify half the stuff on it, so end up scraping it all off and eating crust and sauce.

the whole time... this guy is talking about how fit he is, how much he runs, how much he loves his hair, how often woman turn their heads to look at him when he walks by. Understand, this is a skinny little guy who might be fit from running ... but he is still a skinny little short guy! I lost count of how many time I looked at my watch during dinner.

Finally the check arrives. The waitress puts it on the table in front of him. He does not make any attempt to pay it... doesnt even lift it to look at it. So, after another 10 minutes or so, the waitress starts clearing the table in a hint that it is Saturday night, and she needs to turn the table to make some money. I can stand it no more and reach for it myself. He says nothing. I take out my wallet and he says.... "Oh, would you like to split that? I will pay my half" I almost choked right at the table. I said I would pay, he could just leave the tip... I told him the check was $25.00. He took out TWO one dollar bills to leave on the table and got up to leave. I made sure he watched me take out another $5.00 to add to it.

We leave, again he opens the door and walks thru it... I have to put my hand out to stop it from hitting me.

We get to the car. I stand at it an wait for him to open it. He clicks the remote and opens HIS door. I wait. He gets in and shouts... "It's open" I shout back, "It may be unlocked, but it certainly isn't open!" .... nothing... so I get in and slam the door. He starts the engine but it is another two minutes while he adjust the mirror, fluffs his Roger Daltrey hair and then pulls out. There is silence all the way back and I can only think of my long drive home.

We get to his house, I get my keys out and head for my car. He says "you are not coming in?" I say... really sarcastically... "No, I don't think so". He says... "You mean it is Saturday night and I am gonna spend the night alone?" I mumble something about a whore house and a fitful of hundreds and take off.

On the long drive home, I call my friend who set this up and b!tch her out.

For almost two weeks this guy kept calling me and emailing me wanting to know why I left so early and if I would go out with him again. When finally told him that I thought he was an ill mannered dick, he was surprised. He spent another week emailing me, trying to convince me that I was wrong.


Hahaha!!!

wow, what an idiot. thats pretty bad.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
A blind date set up by mutual friends.

I hear there are really nice places to eat in Memphis, so I make the drive from Nashville.

I get to this guys house and it is really sparsely decorated. I go in and sit on the couch and this guy is watching the Olympics. We sit for 1/2 an hour or so... he doesn't offer me a drink or anything. I ask to use the bathroom. The fridge has pics of a woman and kids magnetted to it. A few minutes later, the phone rings. He takes it in the kitchen, leaving me in the living room to watch the Olympics by myself. I hear him screaming.... fvk you!!! You left, you are getting nothing!!! Bring my kids back, you b!tch!! Slams the phone down, comes back to the living room and sits on the couch like nothing happened.

I drove a LONG way and am starving, so.... Finally I am like... uh, are we going for dinner? He is disappointed that we don't get to watch more teevee. He insists we take his car. Fine. He drives like 10 miles an hour and the whole time he is looking in the rear view mirror. I did not realize until later that he was looking at himself in it.

We get to the restaurant. He parks four blocks away, on a side street, so he doesnt have to spend the $5.00 parking. I wait for him to open the door, but he does not at first. So, I wait another few seconds. Finally, he opens the door and walks thru it himself. I roll my eyes. He is not paying attention. We sit, I look at the menu. the waitress comes and he immediately order for both of us. Well, he ordered one pizza and tells the waitress we are gonna split it. The pizza arrives and I cannot even identify half the stuff on it, so end up scraping it all off and eating crust and sauce.

the whole time... this guy is talking about how fit he is, how much he runs, how much he loves his hair, how often woman turn their heads to look at him when he walks by. Understand, this is a skinny little guy who might be fit from running ... but he is still a skinny little short guy! I lost count of how many time I looked at my watch during dinner.

Finally the check arrives. The waitress puts it on the table in front of him. He does not make any attempt to pay it... doesnt even lift it to look at it. So, after another 10 minutes or so, the waitress starts clearing the table in a hint that it is Saturday night, and she needs to turn the table to make some money. I can stand it no more and reach for it myself. He says nothing. I take out my wallet and he says.... "Oh, would you like to split that? I will pay my half" I almost choked right at the table. I said I would pay, he could just leave the tip... I told him the check was $25.00. He took out TWO one dollar bills to leave on the table and got up to leave. I made sure he watched me take out another $5.00 to add to it.

We leave, again he opens the door and walks thru it... I have to put my hand out to stop it from hitting me.

We get to the car. I stand at it an wait for him to open it. He clicks the remote and opens HIS door. I wait. He gets in and shouts... "It's open" I shout back, "It may be unlocked, but it certainly isn't open!" .... nothing... so I get in and slam the door. He starts the engine but it is another two minutes while he adjust the mirror, fluffs his Roger Daltrey hair and then pulls out. There is silence all the way back and I can only think of my long drive home.

We get to his house, I get my keys out and head for my car. He says "you are not coming in?" I say... really sarcastically... "No, I don't think so". He says... "You mean it is Saturday night and I am gonna spend the night alone?" I mumble something about a whore house and a fitful of hundreds and take off.

On the long drive home, I call my friend who set this up and b!tch her out.

For almost two weeks this guy kept calling me and emailing me wanting to know why I left so early and if I would go out with him again. When finally told him that I thought he was an ill mannered dick, he was surprised. He spent another week emailing me, trying to convince me that I was wrong.


Hahaha!!!

hey! you got a problem with skinny short guys? huh?

 

[Stuxnet]

I've only had 2 dates that I would go back and "undo" if given the chance, but they pale in comparison to most others so I'll just run through them real quick.

#1: Hung out at the same bar every Tuesday. Met a chick couldn't get over her old boyfriend. Basically just wanted a shoulder to cry on. Told her she definitely had the wrong guy. Wouldn't take the hint, so I started showing up with new girlfriend (married said new girlfriend later on, actually).

#2: Went on a date with an extremely materialistic/shallow woman. She flat out stated that she preferred guys who dress in "Abercrombie and Banana Republic" or some garbage like that (this was back in 1998 so I don't even remember the exact words). The funny thing was those were literally the clothes I had on my back that day, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. All she had was my email addy so ditching her was pretty easy.

 

[randomlinh]

i love these stories altho... granted, i haven't been out on a "date" in a while..

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: waggy

hey! you got a problem with skinny short guys? huh?

No, I have a problem with skinny short men who are stuck up, self absorbed and think they are Adonis.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: waggy

hey! you got a problem with skinny short guys? huh?

No, I have a problem with skinny short men who are stuck up, self absorbed and think they are Adonis.

oh good. you wanna go on a date then!?

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: waggy

hey! you got a problem with skinny short guys? huh?

No, I have a problem with skinny short men who are stuck up, self absorbed and think they are Adonis.

oh good. you wanna go on a date then!?

I drove from Nashville to Memphis for a date. Sorry, but I am not driving from NJ to Illinois for one.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: waggy

hey! you got a problem with skinny short guys? huh?

No, I have a problem with skinny short men who are stuck up, self absorbed and think they are Adonis.

oh good. you wanna go on a date then!?

I drove from Nashville to Memphis for a date. Sorry, but I am not driving from NJ to Illinois for one.

short guys never get any lovin. its ok though. i don't think my wife would let me go anyway!

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: waggy

hey! you got a problem with skinny short guys? huh?

No, I have a problem with skinny short men who are stuck up, self absorbed and think they are Adonis.

oh good. you wanna go on a date then!?

I drove from Nashville to Memphis for a date. Sorry, but I am not driving from NJ to Illinois for one.

short guys never get any lovin. its ok though. i don't think my wife would let me go anyway!

Yea, and I think my guy would not be too pleased about it either.


Well, that had to be the short AT romance ever, huh?

hahaha

 

[Stuxnet]

Holy hell. Karen Marie wins by a LANDSLIDE. What a LOOOSER.

 

[Zaitsevs]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: Rudy Toody
Yes. This actually happened.

wow.



worst date i have ever had was nowhere near that. I was set up on ablind date.

we were going to meet up with another couple at a local bar. I walk in sit down and order a beer and dinner (cheeseburger and half a order of chicken wings (3 wings)). the girl walks in and sits down about 10 minutes after me.

we all have a beer in front of us and she says "oh i think drinking is caused by the devil" and she orders a salad.

well the food comes out. i get a huge sandwich. she says "eating meat is evil. cows have feeling too you know!". to which i say " damn then you are not going to like that i have a dead deer in my truck i shot this afternoon eh?"

she looked like she was going to kill me.

she got up and left saying there was no use staying. we all just said by and went back to drinking and eating.

fun fun fun

bwahahahahahahahah.

" for every animal you don't eat, I'll eat three!"