What to do with cheap tequila?

[lxskllr]

Cuervo's the reason I thought I didn't like tequila. Turns out it's only shitty tequila I don't like. Go figure...

 

[Thebobo]

I don’t waste my piss, I actually save it to water my plant. I also used my shit as fertilizer. I donate all my semen to sperm bank after I masturbate. I believe waste of any resources is a grave sin.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
AMDisTheBEST gets quite irate.

 

[crashtech]

In the summertime I make frozen lemonade drinks for barbecues, most of the time I use cheap-ish vodka, but I got rid of some nasty gift tequila that way once on the second round, and nobody complained, lol. They seem especially good for getting a drink or two into women who hate beer.

 

[BoomerD]

At least it's not Pancho Villa tequilla...still only $5.98 for a 5 gallon bucket...and you get to keep the bucket!

 

[Muse]

Wait! I'm still chuckling over someone trying to return alcohol.

What's so funny about that? Costco accepts returns on most anything, even after you've opened it, used some, etc. I hadn't touched this stuff, broken the seal, the gismo holding the two bottles together, figured I could get my moolah back. It was "nope!" *shrugs*

 

[Muse]

You guys are the best! You've saved me the sadness and indignity of pouring it down the drain or handing it over to some organization person with a weird smile on their face. Lots of great ideas here. Thanks!!! It'll likely take me a long time to use up 3 liters of the stuff, so by that time it will be aged cheap tequila, but it will get used!

 

[Muse]

At least it's not Pancho Villa tequilla...still only $5.98 for a 5 gallon bucket...and you get to keep the bucket!

What a deal. Are you kidding? I love those buckets. I never seem to have enough 5 gallon buckets. That tequila must be vile, though, at that price.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
AMDisTheBEST gets quite irate.

LOL

 

[BoomerD]

What a deal. Are you kidding? I love those buckets. I never seem to have enough 5 gallon buckets. That tequila must be vile, though, at that price.

Well...I might be exaggerating slightly...but, you're right...it's definitely not the best tequila out there. (and that's after numerous "taste tests" by me)

 

[lxskllr]

so by that time it will be aged cheap tequila, but it will get used!

Not to be pedantic, and you may know better, but spirits don't age in the bottle. If you put 3yr whisky in a bottle, and open it 100 years later, it'll still be 3yr whisky. *When it gets bottled, time is frozen.

*For something better than Cuervo, you'd also want to decant it into a smaller bottle as you drink it. Air will negatively affect the flavor of spirits. IOW, as the level goes down, the spirits will degrade over time. I'd only decant something I drink a glass or two of per year, and cost a small fortune.

 

[Muse]

Not to be pedantic, and you may know better, but spirits don't age in the bottle. If you put 3yr whisky in a bottle, and open it 100 years later, it'll still be 3yr whisky. *When it gets bottled, time is frozen.

*For something better than Cuervo, you'd also want to decant it into a smaller bottle as you drink it. Air will negatively affect the flavor of spirits. IOW, as the level goes down, the spirits will degrade over time. I'd only decant something I drink a glass or two of per year, and cost a small fortune.

I didn't actually know that spirits don't "age" in a bottle. I'm sorta ignorant about this stuff, although I do have a copy of a wonderful paperback book I bought decades ago: Spirits & Liqueurs / Paperback – February 1, 2010 by Rosalind Cooper. My copy is copyright 1982. I checked it out of the library and liked it so much I bought a copy. I've dabbled some in making my own liqueurs. It's not difficult and the results can be very tasty. Liqueurs are pretty much all the result of people just experimenting over the centuries.

I don't comprehend your last sentence there. The bit about the "small fortune." Doesn't compute in my brain what you were getting at there.

*When it gets bottled, time is frozen.

Is this also true of wine?

 

[Harrod]

I'd make Mexican Mules with it.

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

Is this also true of wine?

Not entirely, wine does some work with itself in the bottle, but most of the magic is done by the time it gets out of the barrel. Note that not all wines improve with age, and most have a 'peak' of when they should probably be consumed before they go south. 'Normal people wine' is ready to roll when you get hold of it at the store, or within a year or two. Some more expensive wines are best after a few years, and some very very expensive/rare ones are intended to sit in a cellar for a presidency or three before opened.

Pretty much all wines should be consumed the day you open them, cheapy ones you can get away with a day or so after (mostly because they're shit to begin with), but they go out the window quickly.

 

[Darwin333]

In the summertime I make frozen lemonade drinks for barbecues, most of the time I use cheap-ish vodka, but I got rid of some nasty gift tequila that way once on the second round, and nobody complained, lol. They seem especially good for getting a drink or two into women who hate beer.

We have a drink we call the "panty dropper" that is piss easy. 2 parts Firefly vodka to 1 part lemonade, we make it in a 5 gallon water cooler when we take the boat out to the island and man does it live up to its name! Even women who hate just about every alcoholic concoction they have ever tried love it and forget that they are drinking alcohol.

 

[Darwin333]

Pretty much all wines should be consumed the day you open them, cheapy ones you can get away with a day or so after (mostly because they're shit to begin with), but they go out the window quickly.

For a few cents per bottle you can buy a can of inert air and a few airtight stoppers to save your wine. It's the oxygen that does them in so if you remove that from the bottle and stop any more from getting in you can vastly increase how long an opened bottle will stay good for.

 

[lxskllr]

I don't comprehend your last sentence there. The bit about the "small fortune." Doesn't compute in my brain what you were getting at there.
Is this also true of wine?

If you spend $500-$1k+ for a bottle of whisky, you don't want it degrading due to poor storage. If a $50 bottle degrades, it's not such a big deal.

As to the wine, I know very little about it, but [DHT]Osiris' explanation is how I understood it to work.

 

[Muse]

As to the wine, I know very little about it, but [DHT]Osiris' explanation is how I understood it to work.

Linkage?

Edit: Oh, you mean higher in the thread... I'll check it out...

Pretty much all wines should be consumed the day you open them, cheapy ones you can get away with a day or so after (mostly because they're shit to begin with), but they go out the window quickly.

I've been drinking the cheapest (to my knowledge) of wines (2 1/2 buck Chuck, the cab) exclusively for a while. I refrigerate immediately what I don't drink after opening. It certainly prevents the vinegary taste I get otherwise. I seldom drink more than 3-4 ounces a day... at dinner time, plus I skip a lot of days.

For a few cents per bottle you can buy a can of inert air and a few airtight stoppers to save your wine. It's the oxygen that does them in so if you remove that from the bottle and stop any more from getting in you can vastly increase how long an opened bottle will stay good for.

Refrigeration certainly helps. I haven't noticed deterioration of my cheapo cab. Of course, it's just cheapo cab and I guess I don't know any better.

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

For a few cents per bottle you can buy a can of inert air and a few airtight stoppers to save your wine. It's the oxygen that does them in so if you remove that from the bottle and stop any more from getting in you can vastly increase how long an opened bottle will stay good for.

Yeah but then you aren't drinking amazing wine, and who wants to live in that world?

 

[Darwin333]

You guys are the best! You've saved me the sadness and indignity of pouring it down the drain or handing it over to some organization person with a weird smile on their face. Lots of great ideas here. Thanks!!! It'll likely take me a long time to use up 3 liters of the stuff, so by that time it will be aged cheap tequila, but it will get used!

You could always give one of them to a bum on the street and watch his eyes light up like he just won the lottery.

 

[lxskllr]

Linkage?

Don't have any, but a search engine should get you lots of data. I read stuff every now and then, or hear wine segments on the radio, but I'm not that interested in wine, so I don't pay close attention. If you give me a glass of wine, I'll drink a glass of wine and like it ok, but it isn't something I buy for myself. Too much to learn for the payoff for me. I'm more interested in aged spirits, so that's where I focus my attention.

 

[Darwin333]

Yeah but then you aren't drinking amazing wine, and who wants to live in that world?

What do you mean? If you fill the bottle with inert gas and put an airtight stopper on it fairly soon after opening it will taste just as amazing weeks later. I do this often enough when we open a second bottle and don't think we are going to finish it. Even if I pour another glass the same night just repeat the process and I can't notice a difference when I decide to finish it at some later date.

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

What do you mean? If you fill the bottle with inert gas and put an airtight stopper on it fairly soon after opening it will taste just as amazing weeks later. I do this often enough when we open a second bottle and don't think we are going to finish it. Even if I pour another glass the same night just repeat the process and I can't notice a difference when I decide to finish it at some later date.

Haha, I meant if you're stoppering/holding wine, you aren't drinking it! It's madness, drink that stuff up and enjoy it.

We've got two wine coolers, neither of which are ever plugged in because we don't keep wine in the house for more than a day or three before it's gone. Too tasty to hold onto!

Don't have any, but a search engine should get you lots of data. I read stuff every now and then, or hear wine segments on the radio, but I'm not that interested in wine, so I don't pay close attention. If you give me a glass of wine, I'll drink a glass of wine and like it ok, but it isn't something I buy for myself. Too much to learn for the payoff for me. I'm more interested in aged spirits, so that's where I focus my attention.

I was that way for a while (though wine was kinda my gateway into alcohol in general, aside from a few good beers), but had, very seriously, a life-changing glass of Brunello a few years back that's had me hooked ever since. I love/appreciate all alcohols though, I'd never place one over another, too much good to spread around.

 

[HomerJS]

I'd make Mexican Mules with it.

Hey that's racist

 

[HomerJS]

Either use to marinate chicken or combine with fruit juice and drink. Best to do both. Chili-lime-tequila grilled chicken thighs, some black beans, rice, fresh tortillas, and a couple margaritas. 2:1:1 tequila, lime juice, and triple sec. Shouldn't need any more sweetness but you can add some simple syrup if you like.

I keep raw agave nectar in the house for just such an emergency!

 

[monkeydelmagico]

I've been drinking the cheapest (to my knowledge) of wines (2 1/2 buck Chuck, the cab) exclusively for a while.

I get home and do some online research and see that what I bought is considered crud.

Now your problems have been doubled. I don't think you will be able to return the wine either.

 

[child of wonder]

For those with bad tequila experiences or have had awful hangovers from it, you need to realize something.

There are two types of tequila:

1. American tequila made from imported agave or mixto tequila and produced or finished here in the US
2. Mexican tequila made from locally grown agave and produced in Jalisco, Mexico

Mexican law states that in order to be labelled "tequila" the spirit must be produced in a particular region of Mexico, made with locally grown agave, and must be distilled 100% from agave with no additives.

American law states that in order to be labelled "tequila" the spirit must be 51% agave and then whatever the fuck else the producer wants.

American tequila is GARBAGE. Jose Cuervo, Sauza, etc. adds caramel color, other cheap sugars as part of the fermentation process, undergoes few distillation passes, and contains other additives for flavor.

True, top shelf Mexican tequila is agave, yeast, and water. That's it. Tequila is naturally clear and is called Blanco (white or new) and it can be aged in barrels to become Reposado (rested), Anejo (aged), or Ultra Anejo (extra aged).

If you spend a night drinking good, quality Mexican tequila straight or with natural mixers (real juice, simply syrup or agave nectar, etc.), stay hydrated, and replace the electrolytes you lose from urination through the night (I prefer Gatorade), you will wake up feeling like a fucking stud and fully remember the night of fun you had.