What to do with cheap tequila?

[Muse]

So, I was at Costco almost a year ago I guess and a cosmic ray hit me right in the cerebral cortex. What actually happened, BION (believe it or not), was a little old lady asked me to help her get some in her cart. Yeah, no lie. So, I take a look and see they have a special where if you buy 2 bottles of this stuff (Jose Cuervo Especial), I guess it was 1.5 liter bottles, you get this discount. I plop 2 of them in my cart.

I get home and do some online research and see that what I bought is considered crud. No one who knows jack about tequila, who appreciates it, would buy this stuff. I bring it back next time I hit Costco and get the lowdown: "It's illegal in California to return alcoholic beverages." So, now they are just sitting in my house unopened. I have a bottle of probably the same stuff sitting in my liquor cabinet with maybe 3 ounces in it, it's been there probably 15 years. I am not much of a drinker (!), and just never have an idea to use tequila. A friend of mine turned me onto some gourmet stuff at his place a few years ago, but that was a different animal entirely, I discovered, when I did my online research.

What would you do with this Jose Cuervo cheap stuff? Is it possible to make passable margaritas out of this stuff? Donate it? Pour it down the drain? What would you do?

 

[BoomerD]

Jose Cuervo isn't a top shelf tequila, but it's drinkable. I've suffered quite a few miserable mornings from "enjoying" a bit too much...yes, makkng margaritas is a good way to use it up, but seriously, unless you're a tequila snob, odds are, you won't notice that it's not $200/bottle "cactus" juice.

 

[AMDisTheBEST]

That ain’t cooking wine so don’t cook with it.

I personally don’t drink achohol. It tastes so bad that I honestly don’t know how most people tolerate enough sips to be addicted to these stuffs. I say the same thing to tobaccos, that thing just makes my lung burn and feel awful.

Pouring down a drain is complete waste and I am against waste of any kind. If I were you, I would make sure they get consumed like they are meant to.

Know those homeless folks under the bridge? Gave it to them and make sure they drink every last sip of it. If you can’t find them, have your dog, cat, whatever pet you have that are large enough with a mouth to drink, drink it. Get it bloody drunk if you have to.

If all else fails, kidnape a person and force feed entire bottles of it down his/her throat.

 

[John Connor]

Do yourself a favor and pour that shit down the drain. Tequila is a shit liquor. Then they let a worm in that shit? WTF?!

/thread.

 

[John Connor]

That ain’t cooking wine so don’t cook with it.

I personally don’t drink achohol. It tastes so bad that I honestly don’t know how most people tolerate enough sips to be addicted to these stuffs. I say the same thing to tobaccos, that thing just makes my lung burn and feel awful.

Pouring down a drain is complete waste and I am against waste of any kind. If I were you, I would make sure they get consumed like they are meant to.

Know those homeless folks under the bridge? Gave it to them and make sure they drink every last sip of it. If you can’t find them, have your dog, cat, whatever pet you have that are large enough with a mouth to drink, drink it. Get it bloody drunk if you have to.

If all else fails, kidnape a person and force feed entire bottles of it down his/her throat.

You shouldn't waste piss either and that can be drank like twice.

 

[AMDisTheBEST]

You shouldn't waist piss either and that can be drank like twice.

I don’t waste my piss, I actually save it to water my plant. I also used my shit as fertilizer. I donate all my semen to sperm bank after I masturbate. I believe waste of any resources is a grave sin.

 

[John Connor]

I also used my shit as fertilizer.

Enjoy the tapeworms.

 

[John Connor]

And I've heard horror stories of sperm donations where you become responsible for taking care of a kid.

 

[Muse]

And I've heard horror stories of sperm donations where you become responsible for taking care of a kid.

Whoa! Really? Gotta get a legally solid release I guess. That's heavy shit.

 

[Muse]

I believe waste of any resources is a grave sin.

I can only think to quote my favorite sage, William Blake on that one:

"He has observ'd the Golden Rule Till he's become the Golden Fool."

 

[John Connor]

Whoa! Really? Gotta get a legally solid release I guess. That's heavy shit.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/justice/kansas-sperm-donation/index.html



"About two-thirds of states have adopted the Uniform Parentage Act (UPA), which gives protections to sperm donors in cases where a mother has sued them for child support."

https://family-law.freeadvice.com/f.../artificial_insemination_donor_obligation.htm


Bitch!

 

[BoomerD]

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/justice/kansas-sperm-donation/index.html



"About two-thirds of states have adopted the Uniform Parentage Act (UPA), which gives protections to sperm donors in cases where a mother has sued them for child support."

https://family-law.freeadvice.com/f.../artificial_insemination_donor_obligation.htm


Bitch!

But what about....direct donations?

 

[Muse]

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/justice/kansas-sperm-donation/index.html



"About two-thirds of states have adopted the Uniform Parentage Act (UPA), which gives protections to sperm donors in cases where a mother has sued them for child support."

https://family-law.freeadvice.com/f.../artificial_insemination_donor_obligation.htm


Bitch!

Interesting. You really gotta be a John Doe in cases like that or it can backfire on you, assuming you don't want to be attached. Hey, doning to a woman you know, why would you do that unless you want an attachment there?

 

[John Connor]

Interesting. You really gotta be a John Doe in cases like that or it can backfire on you, assuming you don't want to be attached. Hey, doning to a woman you know, why would you do that unless you want an attachment there?

I'd never do it myself. Especially with the lawyers and shity justice system. Besides, there are plenty of children right now that could use a decent family already.

 

[Muse]

I'd never do it myself. Especially with the lawyers and shity justice system. Besides, there are plenty of children right now that could use a decent family already.

Great point.

 

[KMFJD]

Run it through a brita filter....works for shitty whiskey and vodka...

/nvm i should read before i reply

 

[Muse]

Run it through a brita filter....works for shitty whiskey and vodka...

/nvm i should read before i reply

What will the effect be? Tastes better? I don't have a Brita system. I see them at Costco...

 

[dawp]

get some orange juice and grenadine and make some tequila sunrises.

 

[nakedfrog]

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

Make some Margaritas, do yourself a favor and skip the HFCS syrup mixers, just buy some limes and agave nectar from whatever store you've got. I tend to use one lime (squeezed or muddled, leave the lime in the shaker if you're using that otherwise juice in a glass or w/e), maybe 3-4 tbps of agave (eyeball it, adjust according to taste) and fill the glass with tequila. Shake with ice, enjoy. I haven't had a bad marg via this method, so basically any Tequila will do.

FWIW I use Jose Cuervo Silver fairly often (swap out between a few diff types depending on what's avail/on sale) and it's more than adequate for margs. If you want something for sipping, aim higher.

 

[KMFJD]

What will the effect be? Tastes better? I don't have a Brita system. I see them at Costco...

It will filter some of the impurities out of the alcohol, make it a bit more palatable

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Wait! I'm still chuckling over someone trying to return alcohol.

 

[HomerJS]

Use for cooking. You can find a lot of marinade recipes using tequila/lime as a base. Great for wings.

 

[ElFenix]

Either use to marinate chicken or combine with fruit juice and drink. Best to do both. Chili-lime-tequila grilled chicken thighs, some black beans, rice, fresh tortillas, and a couple margaritas. 2:1:1 tequila, lime juice, and triple sec. Shouldn't need any more sweetness but you can add some simple syrup if you like.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Use it to make margaritas.