What things in life are the most important to you?

[VoodooExtreme]

My Girlfriend
My Family
My Friends

Money (Cuz' if I have money I can spoil the ones that I love... and I just love that)

 

[Moonbeam]

Athanasius, you're welcome. Had meant to put emphasis on the negative to stress my opinion that it is generally overlooked, avoided, and denied more in general than by you. There is a tendency, I think to stress the positive, look on the bright side, etc, that may have many good points, but which preclude the kind of cleansing I was talking about.

SirFshAlot, In the case you described, "but what if you aren't content with yourself, because of the forces that drive you?", It is a question og feeling those forces. I would guess that they are the voices of a parent, parents, telling you that in some way you don't measure up, or some such negative voice from long ago. Our vague feelings of discontent have some such origin. Anyway I think we made up our minds never to feel again as bad as we once were easily made to feel, and so we have defenses like anger and hostility to anything that tries or threatens to make us feel those feelings again.

But if one can drop the defense and allow the feelings in, they can become intense enough to be just like they once were, and what that does is take you right back with memory of the past. After such an experience, it is a little more difficult to believe in negative lies about yourself. Even just understanding that something like this is happening can help. So the trick is to realize that the problem is not that you need to be better, but that your need to stop believing that you need to be better. With no hidden feelings of inadequacy to defend against, it's easer to be better, it just happens without striving. The key is learning to feel what we really feel, that we are worthless, and see that that is a lie.

 

[AMDJunkie]

<< I define myself in relation to my acts and desires. >>

Do not measure yourself by the actions and thoughts you have done, but by the actions and thoughts you will do.

 

[~zonker~]

Athanasius.. you sound more like Thomas A Kempis every day now Ever read Gregory of Nyssa, he describes knowing God as going from observing light to knowing the light and finally as searching in the darkness becuase we simply can't learn more on our own, only by what is revealed...

Welcome to the darkness my friend, care for a blindfold?

 

[Blain]

SirFshAlot,
Those relationships are important to me. And I do fail to be the person that I would like to be. But knowing that &quot;my&quot; actions (or failings), are forgiven by what Jesus did for me, helps me to put &quot;myself&quot; into perspective. I will fail people that I'm close to. I will be forgiven by God (and hopefully those persons), for those failings. That's not to say that I take God's forgiveness lightly. I have come to a place in my life where I realize that I am not perfect and will not be so. Having that understanding helps me to rest in the atonement work of Jesus. Before I understood that, I tried to be a &quot;good&quot; person and not do wrong. Don't get me wrong. People should be good to one another. It's just that now I can &quot;rest&quot; knowing that what He did was enough for me.
Basically, it all goes back to &quot;The Garden&quot;...
We try to make ourselves right with God by sewing together aprons of fig leaves (make our lives &quot;right&quot; by what &quot;we&quot; do).
Or, we turn that task over to God to take care of, and accept &quot;His&quot; covering and atonement as our own (trust in the &quot;work of the cross&quot

I hope I haven't misled anyone into thinking that I advocate &quot;slackness&quot; towards God, because I don't.

Two of Jesus' directives were...
Love God with all your heart, and love others &quot;as&quot; you love yourself.
If we don't see the love and commitment that God has shown towards us, with Jesus' work, we won't love ourselves (in the proper proportion/way).

 

[Stallion]

my relationship with Jesus Christ
my wife
my son Gabriel

I haven't read all the posts but I have skimmed them and I'm glad to see some fellow Jesus Christ loving poeple here.

 

[Athanasius]

Hello zonker:

I have only read excerpts from Gregory of Nyssa, although I have a collection of his writings and hope to delve into them more thoroughly.

Thank you for the encouragement. Knowing at least one big part of your own cup of sorrows, your encouragement means much to me.

 

[SirFshAlot]

Moonbeam,
<<I would guess that they are the voices of a parent, parents, telling you that in some way you don't measure up, or some such negative voice from long ago>>

sorry, but you took a wrong turn

My parents are a positive force in my life, through their examples of love towards others.

The negative forces that I elude to were born out of a hostile relationship in a marriage that never should have taken place.[edit](the hostility never should have taken place)
Anger, contention, vengeance........all forces that I would rather not succumb to.

<<So the trick is to realize that the problem is not that you need to be better, but that your need to stop believing that you need to be better>>

I don't agree with you on this. I ascribe to Maslow's heirarchy of self-actualization, that we should strive to perfect ourselves throughout our lives by our own efforts and goals. I know when I am treating others well by the way it makes me feel. I also know when I am not treating others the way that I should. I want to strive to feel good about myself in accordance with the way I treat others.
I believe I need to constantly try to be better.
That is part of my belief of the meaning to life.

I don't have an inferiority complex or low self-esteem, rather, I feel very good about myself, and thus have high expectations of myself. I am not content to be pulled down by &quot;common folk&quot; behavior and attitude.
I strive for integrity, honesty, and loyalty.

 

[ultravox]

You feel that people should strive to perfect themselves through their efforts and goals........how can you alter your true feelings about how you treat people....you can only alter that which is visible. If you find a wallet on the street with money in it, give it back to the owner and then think of the money you could've spent, who are you fooling ....not yourself. If you are materialistic and vindicative by nature , you can only hide these traits and not change them.
You appear to have all your values screwed on right..why the need for an assesement of yourself. Is it because you can't bring yourself to do what is against your principles?
My father never game me anything except this.....he told me when I left home at 18 to always do the right thing so that I can walk down the street with my head held high...even if nobody was there to see it.

 

[Moonbeam]

SirFhsAlot, The stuff I'm saying is an offering not an argument, based on your statement that you were doing a lot of introspection. When I used the word unknown, I wasn't kidding. If you stand back and look at what I'm saying from a distance perhaps you would agree that if it were true, nobody would ever know it. For example, who would ever guess that the reason that relationships flounder is that we must think that anybody who loves us is a fool that must be driven away. Again, just some stuff to ponder.

ultravox, &quot;.how can you alter your true feelings about how you treat people....you can only alter that which is visible.&quot; My answer is that our true feelings are only true in the sense that we truly feel them unconsiously or invisibily. To truly feel them consiously is to know them for what they are...lies. To KNOW them for lies is one road to freedom.

 

[FrontlineWarrior]

The most important thing in your life is sanity. If you think otherwise you're crazy! =P