what should i do? (girl related)

[stev0]

first off... this isn't another one of those "OMG A girl sat next to me... **CONFIRMED** She did it on purpose!!!"

i've been friends with her for a while, talk to her just about everyday, between phone, aim, and email, mostly phone and aim... recently (about 1.5 weeks ago) she broke up with her bf so i figure now is my chance.

the problem is, every time i try to get her to go out, she is always busy, with the same friend. (yes she is actually doing something with the friend... and not using it as an excuse to get out of doing something with myself)... what can be done? I invited her to a party last week, and she did come, but with that same friend.. it's like they are siamese twins now...

is it too early for me to be moving in? what do you guys think?...

 

[lilFajita]

How long did she date the guy? 1.5 weeks is not a long time....unless you just want to be a rebound.

Give her time, let her hang out with her girlfriends...maybe in about a month, IMO

 

[Orsorum]

How long did she date him?

A rough rule of thumb is half the length of the relationship.

 

[AreaCode707]

Hang out with her and her friend, if she seems inclined to let you do so, and if she develops an interest in being more than friends with you, it's her responsibility to lose the friend. Invite her to do stuff with you once in a while, making clear that you're interested in having lunch one-on-one, not as a group.

 

[amnesiac]

Give her 1/2 the length of the relationship to get over him if it was a long term one, otherwise you'll end up being the rebound guy.
Also stop being so pushy with asking her out. She needs girl time; she's probably not ready to start dating again just yet.

 

[Azraele]

Perhaps she sees you only as a friend and doesn't know you're interested in seeing her as a date? Why not ask her if she'd like to go somewhere just the two of you?

 

[stev0]

Originally posted by: Zakath15
How long did she date him?

A rough rule of thumb is half the length of the relationship.

ohhh man, going to be waiting a long time then... about 1.5 yrs... granted she still is in hs though...

 

[stev0]

Originally posted by: Azraele
Perhaps she sees you only as a friend and doesn't know you're interested in seeing her as a date? Why not ask her if she'd like to go somewhere just the two of you?

i been trying, she is always busy with that one friend.

 

[GoingUp]

Yea being the rebound sucks. Wait a while. I know it's hard but its better than the alternative.

 

[stev0]

Originally posted by: Gobadgrs
Yea being the rebound sucks. Wait a while. I know it's hard but its better than the alternative.

yes being the rebound would suck... how long to wait though?

next week i dont' have school so i'll be going home for the week... hopefully i can get something going between the two of us one night...

 

[cjchaps]

If you wait too long she might get snatched up as well...

 

[Geekbabe]

1.5 weeks ? why not back off and give her time to wipe the tears out of her eyes before you're all over her like some sort of drooling geek version of a praying mantis.She's hanging out with her friends,that's the sign of a normal person,why not pretend you're normal too ?

 

[JetsFanatic]

If you really like her as a friend Don't do anything... you will most likely ruin your friendship

I have seen it one too many times.

But, if you want her. then go for it.
Has she ever shown any interest in you??

 

[stev0]

Originally posted by: JetsFanatic
If you really like her as a friend Don't do anything... you will most likely ruin your friendship

I have seen it one too many times.

But, if you want her. then go for it.
Has she ever shown any interest in you??

yes... i'm not going to get into details, but yes she has shown interest for me.

If you wait too long she might get snatched up as well...

thats basically what i'm worried about...

1.5 weeks ? why not back off and give her time to wipe the tears out of her eyes before you're all over her like some sort of drooling geek version of a praying mantis.She's hanging out with her friends,that's the sign of a normal person,why not pretend you're normal too ?

normal? what is normal? please tell me what you think normal is.

 

[Azraele]

normal? what is normal? please tell me what you think normal is.

1.5 weeks is a bit soon.

 

[Karsten]

Maybe she crossed over to the other side?! There must be a reason why she is hanging out with the other person "all" the time!

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: stev0

Originally posted by: JetsFanatic
If you really like her as a friend Don't do anything... you will most likely ruin your friendship

I have seen it one too many times.

But, if you want her. then go for it.
Has she ever shown any interest in you??

yes... i'm not going to get into details, but yes she has shown interest for me.

If you wait too long she might get snatched up as well...

thats basically what i'm worried about...

1.5 weeks ? why not back off and give her time to wipe the tears out of her eyes before you're all over her like some sort of drooling geek version of a praying mantis.She's hanging out with her friends,that's the sign of a normal person,why not pretend you're normal too ?

normal? what is normal? please tell me what you think normal is.

Well, I can tell you it's not knowing that she's been single exactly 1.5 weeks , you are her friend normally? friends who speak to each other regularly? well why not continue doing that and try to avoid looking like some sort of buzzard till she mentions that she's interested in starting to date again.

 

[Goldfish]

It will never work, if you talk to her everyday and don't have a relationship like the kind you are talking about you are eternally stuck in the friends zone.

 

[stev0]

Originally posted by: baffled2

Originally posted by: stev0

Originally posted by: JetsFanatic
If you really like her as a friend Don't do anything... you will most likely ruin your friendship

I have seen it one too many times.

But, if you want her. then go for it.
Has she ever shown any interest in you??

yes... i'm not going to get into details, but yes she has shown interest for me.

If you wait too long she might get snatched up as well...

thats basically what i'm worried about...

1.5 weeks ? why not back off and give her time to wipe the tears out of her eyes before you're all over her like some sort of drooling geek version of a praying mantis.She's hanging out with her friends,that's the sign of a normal person,why not pretend you're normal too ?

normal? what is normal? please tell me what you think normal is.

Well, I can tell you it's not knowing that she's been single exactly 1.5 weeks , you are her friend normally? friends who speak to each other regularly? well why not continue doing that and try to avoid looking like some sort of buzzard till she mentions that she's interested in starting to date again.

thank you. i don't know what to call it really... because i've only hung out with her... 2 maybe 3 times.

edit: once since she broke up with her bf...

 

[stev0]

Originally posted by: Azraele

normal? what is normal? please tell me what you think normal is.

1.5 weeks is a bit soon.

... yea your right ...

edit: a few... well two of our mutual friends, both happen to be girls, have been telling me that i should tell her the way that i feel about her... while my roomie is saying 'you never.. NEVER tell a girl how you feel about her' ... what should i do there? i would think that her friends would know better than my roommate... ?

 

[amnesiac]

Originally posted by: stev0

Originally posted by: Azraele

normal? what is normal? please tell me what you think normal is.

1.5 weeks is a bit soon.

... yea your right ...

Dude, just wait a while. When she's ready she'll let you know, assuming she's interested. You're sure she's actually "shown interest?"
Too many guys interpret a girl even talking to them as "showing interest."


"OMG! Did you see that?! She SMILED at me! She must want me!!!"

 

[GoingUp]

I can't tell you how long you have to wait, but if you want to get together with her, don't put down any moves. Just hang out as friends. I have been the rebound guy several times and it really really sucks. (I never knew I was though, until I got dropped) The problem with you hanging out with her a lot as friends, might be that you only end up as a friend. I would try to give her some space and don't crowd her. As far as the whole 1/2 the relationship, I have never heard that and 7 months seems like a long time. I wouldn't try anything before 2 months probably, definately nothing before 1 month. Good things come to those who wait. I noticed you also said the girl is in HS. Are you in college? Why are you going after a HS girl then if you are. Get out there and meet some college women!

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: amnesiac 2.0

Originally posted by: stev0

Originally posted by: Azraele

normal? what is normal? please tell me what you think normal is.

1.5 weeks is a bit soon.

... yea your right ...

Dude, just wait a while. When she's ready she'll let you know, assuming she's interested. You're sure she's actually "shown interest?"
Too many guys interpret a girl even talking to them as "showing interest."


"OMG! Did you see that?! She SMILED at me! She must want me!!!"

Truer words were never spoken, hell, in real time I try to be nice with everybody I come in contact with and it amazes me the number of dudes who mistake simple human courtesy with some sort of romantic interest.It's a major turnoff because it's so creepy and weird.

 

Hon', ever heard of "respect"? Yep, that's it: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I suppose you would know by now what exactly is respect. Let it be she who seeks you this early; otherwise, give the lady some breathing space.

That said, quit fooling yourself anyway. She's not interested in you, so stop the excuses for the time she spends with her supposed friend. You confuse me so much, I can hardly tell if this so-called friend that she spends time with is the bf she just broke off with. Quite confusing. But whatever the case, it's good to keep it simple: She does not want you. If she did, the friend would be no excuse. Nevertheless, if it pleases you and you find comfort in believing that the friendship she possesses is a force beyond her control and your control, then so be it. Stay comfortable. Just don't ask her out about 1.5 weeks after she breaks up with someone else!!!

This is my expressed opinion. Don't try to turn it into some divine truth now, for I have made no claim to such.

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: baffled2
1.5 weeks ? why not back off and give her time to wipe the tears out of her eyes before you're all over her like some sort of drooling geek version of a praying mantis.She's hanging out with her friends,that's the sign of a normal person,why not pretend you're normal too ?

give her time to wipe the tears out of her eyes before you're all over her like some sort of drooling geek version of a praying mantis

where is the laughing so hard I'm crying emoticon?

and stev0, maybe she is using the friend as a "human shield" -- does she know you might be interested?