what is this disease that afflicts me?

[SandEagle]

so about 7 hours ago i ordered a salad at a place i vowed never to go to. well, i said what the hay and went in and bought one. almost immediately my energy level went from 100 to 0. like sudden chronic fatique. it feels like my body has been injected with cement.

anyhow, now i have stomach cramps, dia*****, pounding headache. i may have to go to urgent care. what sucks is i was invited to a party tonight. im the life of the party and i gotta miss it.

could it be ebola? oh and i have extreme chills. wearin a sweater, 3 blankets, and a heat pad now....
i am crying because i feel i am dying.

Dear Almighty Lord,forgive me and let me not die in a state of unholiness.

 

[02ranger]

so about 7 hours ago i ordered a salad at a place i vowed never to go to. well, i said what the hay and went in and bought one. almost immediately my energy level went from 100 to 0. like sudden chronic fatique. it feels like my body has been injected with cement.

anyhow, now i have stomach cramps, dia*****, pounding headache. i may have to go to urgent care. what sucks is i was invited to a party tonight. im the life of the party and i gotta miss it.

could it be ebola?
i am crying because i feel i am dying.

Dear Almighty Lord,forgive me and let me not die in a state of unholiness.

To properly diagnose, we gotta know what's behind the asterisks...... Lot of stuff could be hiding there

 

[SandEagle]

To properly diagnose, we gotta know what's behind the asterisks...... Lot of stuff could be hiding there

***arrhea

i am saying goodbye to my kids.
if i dont post back tomorrow, i am sorry to anyone i offended.

 

[02ranger]

***arrhea

i am saying goodbye to my kids.
if i dont post back tomorrow, i am sorry to anyone i offended.

I figured as much. I was hoping for diashits or diasquirts or something creative. Probably tough to be real creative when you're exploding from both ends.

"Paging Dr Pizza, Paging Dr Pizza to OT"

Edit: My bad, I misread, you're only exploding from one end. There's no excuse for your lack of creativity/humor then!

 

[mmntech]

AIDS.

 

[blackangst1]

 

[Mixolydian]

Doubt it's food posioning, as the symptoms wouldn't appear anywhere near that fast. Or if it IS food poisoning, it's completely unrelated to the salad.

Could be Norovirus or something similar.

 

[Strk]

You never mentioned what was in the salad. For all we know, it was covered in creamy dressing and you're lactose intolerant. Which, if that's the case, could definitely give you a quick case of the runs.

 

[Printer Bandit]

Ass cancer

 

[AMCRambler]

Ass cancer

No no no. Definitely ass rabies.

 

[BudAshes]

No no no. Definitely ass rabies.

I think you are both right. Ass rabies, with a little ass cancer on the side.

 

[lxskllr]

Years ago, me and the wife ate dinner, and she started feeling poorly, and was shitting blood. I took her to the hospital, and while we were in the waiting room, something came over me in a wave. I felt like I was tripping when I went to the bathroom to puke. I ended up passing out with my head on her bed, and woke up some time later not feeling too bad all things considered.

The doctor had no idea what the problem was, and questioned my ability to identify blood in the toilet(at home) :^S I blamed it on the salad we got, but it did seem pretty quick to me. I blame the salad cause that's the only thing her boy didn't eat that we did. Dunno. That's was in the top five worst times I've been sick in my life, but is confusing because of how quickly I got over it.

 

[MongGrel]

so about 7 hours ago i ordered a salad at a place i vowed never to go to. well, i said what the hay and went in and bought one. almost immediately my energy level went from 100 to 0. like sudden chronic fatique. it feels like my body has been injected with cement.

anyhow, now i have stomach cramps, dia*****, pounding headache. i may have to go to urgent care. what sucks is i was invited to a party tonight. im the life of the party and i gotta miss it.

could it be ebola? oh and i have extreme chills. wearin a sweater, 3 blankets, and a heat pad now....
i am crying because i feel i am dying.

Dear Almighty Lord,forgive me and let me not die in a state of unholiness.

Trollitis.

 

[Gibsons]

Doubt it's food posioning, as the symptoms wouldn't appear anywhere near that fast. Or if it IS food poisoning, it's completely unrelated to the salad.

Could be Norovirus or something similar.

Food poisoning can appear very fast, within hours. There's no incubation time. Faster than any virus for sure.

 

[Mixolydian]

Food poisoning can appear very fast, within hours. There's no incubation time. Faster than any virus for sure.

Most food poisoning has an incubation period of at least 24 hours.

 

[Gibsons]

Most food poisoning has an incubation period of at least 24 hours.

For an infection yes, but a poisoning is typically very fast - there's no incubation as there's no need for pathogens to infect and grow for symptoms to occur.

I really have a problem with infections being called poisonings.

 

[Mixolydian]

For an infection yes, but a poisoning is typically very fast - there's no incubation as there's no need for pathogens to infect and grow for symptoms to occur.

I really have a problem with infections being called poisonings.

http://www.fda.gov/food/resourcesforyou/consumers/ucm103263.htm

 

[SandEagle]

well, it appears ill be fine. but last night was scary, worst i ever felt.

i asked my son : "if i die tonight, what will you remember of me?"

he said.......

he said.... "i'll remember all the times we hanged out at the park and you played with me."

 

[Gibsons]

http://www.fda.gov/food/resourcesforyou/consumers/ucm103263.htm

Food poisoning is a subset of foodborne illness.

Look at the ones labeled "poisoning."

e.g. B. cereus food poisoning 10-16 hrs
Perfringens food poisoning 8–16 hours

As opposed to the infections, which typically take days.

 

[MongGrel]

well, it appears ill be fine. but last night was scary, worst i ever felt.

i asked my son : "if i die tonight, what will you remember of me?"

he said.......

he said.... "i'll remember all the times we hanged out at the park and you played with me."

 

[MongGrel]

 

[PieIsAwesome]

Your brain is so badly damaged that now the areas that are responsible for regulating your digestive systems have been compromised. Only cure is to euthanize.

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

It's a toomah

 

[BUTCH1]

Hehe, your my hero, you always deliver the goods...

 

[OverVolt]

I get the same thing from: olive garden, taco bell, baja fresh, red lobster etc.

its something in the food. something that i have a contact allergy with. i can actually put the food on my skin and it'll turn red/irritated so it must do the same to my insides.

i dont get along well with tomatoes and red bell peppers. both are from the same family of plants.

I avoid those foods and guess what? Healthier than ever. Like super healthy. Enough so that people comment on it. I figure my stomach is doing me a service.