What is the weirdest thing anyone has ever said to you?

[vi edit]

Back in high school I had to go in for a barrage of tests to check out my urinary system. One of the tests involved a radioactive substace that would filter through my kidneys and give the doctor a picture of what my urinary system looked like.

Well, my mom and I were sitting in the office with the door shut and we heard my doctor call over another doctor down from the other end of the hall. Once there was two or three of them standing outside of my door, I heard my doctor say to the other doctors "Wanna see an interesting Xray?"

At this point in time I had no clue what was going on. A few seconds later the doctor walks in and says "Well, I've got something to tell you....you've only got one kidney"

Now that was a bizzare situation.

 

[SuperGroove]

Girl: "My arm pit smells like pickle juice"

Me: Uh huh...*moves over and looks the other way*

True story!

 

[vi edit]

Also had someone say to me "I'm gonna cap a pop in your ass!!!"

 

[vi edit]

One more...for the blondes

I dated a blonde girl in high school. She had a lot of intellect, just not very quick so to speak.

Anyway, we were sitting in my truck after track practice and one of my friends pulls up in a completely renovated and rebuilt '68 Camero. It was a DAMN SHARP car.

She looks over at his car and looks to me and says "That's a nice car".
I look at her and say, "Do you have any idea how much money he has in that car?
She looks at me and just says in the most innocent of voices "Is it more than you keep in your wallet?"

/me slaps forehead.

 

[visgf]

I was sitting in the Minneapolis Airport after 6 hours of a 8 hour delay due to weather and other ODD circumstances speaking with a couple in their 80's. They were listening to me tell all that I had been through that day and they were concerned that I might not have a ride home, which was about 2 hours from the airport. I mentioned that a guy that I had just met (vi_edit) sent my previous ride home and he was going to make the drive over to wait for my plane to arrive. The woman got a cute smile on her face and said "I think that young man really likes you." Her husband promptly replied in a sarcastic voice "I think that falls into the 'No Duh' category!" All I could do is smile and repress a laugh.

 

[MrDudeMan]

ouch hehe. i havnt run into that yet, but im sure some girl will say the same thing to me vi_edit!


that pickle juice stuff...BARF

 

[MrDudeMan]

hehe, IMHO, people over 60 are the funniest people i know. my grandpa...everytime i see him, he tells me "someone told me you dont like me anymore!" and im like "no grandpa, i still like you " then my grandma says "shutup glenn, dont pester the kids"

all my 4 sisters and i just laugh at them, and then i laugh at my parents because they are too naive to understand why its funny hehe

 

[divinemartyr]

I don't know that it's the weirdest thing but I hear some people from east Texas say this:

"We might could do that"

wtf is that!?

dm

 

[nullshark]

All things either myself or my friends have said...



"Well... both your parents can't be nuts." - (Friend talking about my mother's sense of humour.)

"That's not a letter 'n' that's a letter 'v' with a little gay hand." - (Analyzing a friend's handwriting.)

"Is your NumLock key on?"
"What's a NumLock?"
"You're a NumLock." - (Helping a friend over the phone)

"Not in me, on me or above the neck." - (Answering the question 'Spit or swallow?')

"She has to be a mail-order bride." - (Random comment)

"I hate heavy pants." - (In reference to carrying a lot of change in your pocketses.)

"I've seen uglier models than her."

"Gotta go, Dad's home and he makes me talk to him."

"I'm gonna tear that guy's mustache off."

"It's amazing... It's like that whole sentence came out your nose."

"Life is good but the service sucks." - (Waiting for coffee to be refilled.)

"Sorry officer, I have a touchy gas pedal and big boots."

"Never argue with sober people."

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because I'm smarter than you are."

"His grandfather invented the zipper or something."

 

[BoberFett]

When I told my parents I was getting married, my mother's exact words were

"Well, we're not unhappy for you."

:Q

Hmmmm, in retrospect, maybe mom's not so dumb.

 

[chansen]

Bober, I've a similar story

Proposed to my gf one night (she accepted). Sat down to breakfast with my parents the next morning (we were at the cottage) and I announced, "Mom, dad, we're engaged."

My mother replied, "To what end?"

I've never laughed so hard before or since.

 

[MrDudeMan]

what exactly did she mean by "we arent unhappy for you?" is that sarcasm or what?

 

[chansen]

Another weird thing that I was guilty of saying:

Bought my parents new puppy a bone for Christmas. One of those large, smoked bones with a little meat on them you can get at the pet stores. They're called Meaty Mammoth Bones and they're huge - about 16" long and weigh about 10 lbs.

Continued shopping with my wife to the next store, Jacob (women's fashions store). We were greeted by a very attractive clerk as we entered. As my previous purchase was quite obvious, sticking out above the handle of the shopping bag, I proudly exclaimed to the clerk, "I've got a big bone!"

What I was saying hit me immediately. The clerk hurried off. My wife glared.

 

[geno]

lmao @ chansen hahaha

For me, it's gotta be the classic "I love you man" that you get from the average drunk. That same kid kissed my friend on the cheek (read, guy kissed a guy) :Q I guess he was a little too into the moment...

Another time was my cousin, I asked him how long he had been smoking for (age wise), and he proudly replied "Man, I've been smokin since I was....9 O'clock"

 

[imhotepmp]

<< Also had someone say to me &quot;I'm gonna cap a pop in your ass!!!&quot; >>




rofl!!!



Isla


<< as he gave me a foot massage. I didn't know I had hair on my toes before then, either! >>



hehe..I feel for mr. isla, had a similar situation with my gf..

and it just amazing that you women can remember every little thing, especially little moments like that


imhotepMP

 

[zogar]

(ex girlfriend when breaking up) &quot; your exactly the guy I have always dreamed of marrying, but not the kind of guy I want to date&quot;

&quot;stop or I'll shoot!&quot; some guy chasing me for cow tipping in his pasture

(while trying to train someone on the computer) &quot;type name and address here&quot;(reading, then turns to me)&quot;what do I put here&quot; I just laughed in his face for about 5 minutes

(me and an old friend fighting one day) him &quot;all you do is read and play videogames!&quot; me &quot;all you do is smoke pot and watch cartoons!&quot; him &quot;well at least I'm not boring!&quot;

My ex(not the same as above) while we were making love &quot;fvck fast and release dear I need to wash clothes&quot; man that one hurt my pride alot.... I had always thought lasting a long time was a good thing....

 

[KameLeon]

I wanna have anal sex with you

 

[Pastore]

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[Dee67]

<< I proudly exclaimed to the the clerk, &quot;I've got a big bone!&quot; >>



now THAT is funny!!!!!

I guess my weirdest is anything my father says.. Example.. one night a couple years ago, he told my wife and I about how everyone has a 2nd heart located in their foot and went on about it for over an hour.. he wasn't joking, he really believes this for some reason..weird guy..

 

[geno]

One more:
I was in a pizza place, and noticed that they had &quot;Tossed Salad&quot; on the menu. Me and a few friends were there, and had a little laugh about it. Ha ha. So anyways, this guy comes walking in, who looks like a biker and boldy says &quot;I'll have a Tossed Salad to go please&quot;...it was hard containing our laughter since it couldn'tve come at a better time.

And in Physics class, my teacher (who's a funny bastard) was advising all the girls who fall into the catagory of &quot;I'm afraid to break a nail!!&quot;. He was talking about torque and got into the topic of lug nuts on a car's wheel. He says &quot;so all you ladies should ask for them to put the lug nuts on wrench-tight so you won't have trouble taking them off....Cause I sometimes have a tough time...getting my nuts off&quot;

That was a great one. We were practically crying cause he said it in such a funny way

 

[Suicidal]

My girlfriend and i were walking in downtown buffalo and some black guy called me snoop doggy dog and his wife. I think i win the award because i'm a 6'3&quot; white guy and in no way resemble a talented black man... nor a talented white guy, i'm just a cracker with a cause

 

[GrafitiRaven]

LMAO!!!

&quot;getting my nuts off&quot;

Oh, and something one of my friends said to me. &quot;Your feet look like the hobbits&quot;

Has anyone seen that hair remover on TV called &quot;NADS&quot;? Perhaps I should use that on my feet.

 

[nullshark]

I thought it was called nads because you used them on... your nads?

 

[Mday]

the use of &quot;could&quot;

there were 2 replies where the use of &quot;could&quot; contradicts what standard (american) english dictates.

but these examples are perfectly fine. people say that. those who say it know how to use the word could with respect to their dialect of english. and it is perfectly grammatical. <-- what i learned from my linguistics class.

if you go to any extended voyage in the US, you will encounter many dialects, all of which is grammatical. don't make fun just because you have not encountered it before. don't make fun!!1

anyway---

the weirdest thing someone said to me was, &quot;you're a genius&quot;

took me by surprise too...

the guy was in my calc3 class, and just because i knew everything already, he called me a genius, and actually meant that he thought i was smart... shows how much he knows... ;-)

 

[MrDudeMan]

hahaha this is AWESOME stuff!

&quot;ive got a big bone&quot;

LMAO!!!!


i just thought of something else...my mom told me my girlfriend was ugly, and then my sister said i was ugly (me and my sister have a resemblence in the face, cheeks or something, i dunno) and i was like that means you are ugly too moron! and she started crying! i dunno..maybe you had to be there, but it was hilarous. i lauged in her face for quite a while before i realzied she was crying hehe..we are cool now though, she left me at toys-r-us with barbies for my cousin, and i had to walk home with Gymnast Barbie