What is the Origin of Chuck Norris Jokes?

[ramuman]

Originally posted by: bunnyfubbles

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Sure, Walker: Texas Ranger was pretty damn tough, but he wouldn't stand a chance against Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer FTW!

Jack Bauer never defeated the entire vietnam army.

Texas ranger is the scaled down Norris btw.

panzy bauer.

Bah... That's nothing. If Fox ever made a "24" movie, Jack Bauer would take down the entire Russian mafia, liberate Cuba, and kill Osama Bin Laden in his spare time. That would be BEFORE the intermission.

I think you're completely missing the point. It takes 24 hours for Jack Bauer to do what he does, whereas Chuck Norris does it in 2, and thats only if he's slowed down by using guns.

Norris can often do it in 30min-1hr with breaks for commercials. God help his foe if its a Walker marathon on TNT.

EDIT: I realize this thread has lost its original point and turned into another Norris thread.

 

[Azndude51]

Originally posted by: ramuman

Originally posted by: bunnyfubbles

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Sure, Walker: Texas Ranger was pretty damn tough, but he wouldn't stand a chance against Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer FTW!

Jack Bauer never defeated the entire vietnam army.

Texas ranger is the scaled down Norris btw.

panzy bauer.

Bah... That's nothing. If Fox ever made a "24" movie, Jack Bauer would take down the entire Russian mafia, liberate Cuba, and kill Osama Bin Laden in his spare time. That would be BEFORE the intermission.

I think you're completely missing the point. It takes 24 hours for Jack Bauer to do what he does, whereas Chuck Norris does it in 2, and thats only if he's slowed down by using guns.

Norris can often do it in 30min-1hr with breaks for commercials. God help his foe if its a Walker marathon on TNT.

EDIT: I realize this thread has lost its original point and turned into another Norris thread.

I think it did all come from Conan, but I think it's the Chuck Norris fact threads and Chuck Norris fact generator thing that got everyone going in ATOT.

 

[MasterAndCommander]

Chuck Norris "thanking" Conan for his role in internet immortality

 

[MasterAndCommander]

Originally posted by: ramuman

Originally posted by: compnovice

Originally posted by: MasterAndCommander
Chuck Norris is the Origin of Chuck Norris...he is his own father.

:Q

You haven't heard? Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

 

[ultimatebob]

Originally posted by: Azndude51

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Sure, Walker: Texas Ranger was pretty damn tough, but he wouldn't stand a chance against Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer FTW!

Jack Bauer never defeated the entire vietnam army.

Texas ranger is the scaled down Norris btw.

panzy bauer.

Bah... That's nothing. If Fox ever made a "24" movie, Jack Bauer would take down the entire Russian mafia, liberate Cuba, and kill Osama Bin Laden in his spare time. That would be BEFORE the intermission.

I'm a 24 fan, but Chuck Norris could still round house kick the sh!t out of Bauer.

Chuck Norris would never get close enough touch Jack Bauer, because Jack would have gunned him down with a perfect head shot from 500 yards away. With his pistol. While driving his getaway car the wrong way on the interstate.

 

[Vich]

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: Azndude51

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Sure, Walker: Texas Ranger was pretty damn tough, but he wouldn't stand a chance against Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer FTW!

Jack Bauer never defeated the entire vietnam army.

Texas ranger is the scaled down Norris btw.

panzy bauer.

Bah... That's nothing. If Fox ever made a "24" movie, Jack Bauer would take down the entire Russian mafia, liberate Cuba, and kill Osama Bin Laden in his spare time. That would be BEFORE the intermission.

I'm a 24 fan, but Chuck Norris could still round house kick the sh!t out of Bauer.

Chuck Norris would never get close enough touch Jack Bauer, because Jack would have gunned him down with a perfect head shot from 500 yards away. With his pistol. While driving his getaway car the wrong way on the interstate.

qft

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: Azndude51

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Sure, Walker: Texas Ranger was pretty damn tough, but he wouldn't stand a chance against Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer FTW!

Jack Bauer never defeated the entire vietnam army.

Texas ranger is the scaled down Norris btw.

panzy bauer.

Bah... That's nothing. If Fox ever made a "24" movie, Jack Bauer would take down the entire Russian mafia, liberate Cuba, and kill Osama Bin Laden in his spare time. That would be BEFORE the intermission.

I'm a 24 fan, but Chuck Norris could still round house kick the sh!t out of Bauer.

Chuck Norris would never get close enough touch Jack Bauer, because Jack would have gunned him down with a perfect head shot from 500 yards away. With his pistol. While driving his getaway car the wrong way on the interstate.

Not true. Chuck Norris Would Round house kick the bullet right back at jack into his fore head perfect head shot from 1000 yards away while impregnating jacks mother.

 

[MasterAndCommander]

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: Azndude51

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Sure, Walker: Texas Ranger was pretty damn tough, but he wouldn't stand a chance against Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer FTW!

Jack Bauer never defeated the entire vietnam army.

Texas ranger is the scaled down Norris btw.

panzy bauer.

Bah... That's nothing. If Fox ever made a "24" movie, Jack Bauer would take down the entire Russian mafia, liberate Cuba, and kill Osama Bin Laden in his spare time. That would be BEFORE the intermission.

I'm a 24 fan, but Chuck Norris could still round house kick the sh!t out of Bauer.

Chuck Norris would never get close enough touch Jack Bauer, because Jack would have gunned him down with a perfect head shot from 500 yards away. With his pistol. While driving his getaway car the wrong way on the interstate.

Not true. Chuck Norris Would Round house kick the bullet right back at jack into his fore head perfect head shot from 1000 yards away while impregnating jacks mother.

QFT ....plus Chuck's beard is bullet-proof.


Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

 

[Babbles]

Jack Bauer should have Chuck Norris's baby, because nobody else would be able to handle the round-house kicking Chuck Sperm?. Then they can name the offspring Chuck Bauer.

 

[imported_electron]

Chuck Norris always sleeps with the light on. It's not that he's afraid of the dark, rather, that the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

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You deliberately pulled up two ancient threads to post/Nef the same tihing in both.

Therefore take 1 week off per thread for being a pain.

Mod