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What is the normal protocol for a divorced couple re-marrying? Updated

T

Tsaico

Platinum Member
I have a set of friends who were married, big wedding, bachelor/ette parties, the norm. 6 months later, they divorce. They keep seeing each other and 4 years later, they decide to re-marry. What is the normal protocol for this? The soon to be wife is asking mine if they should have another big wedding, what to do for the bachelorette/bachelor parties, should there be a shower instead, what to do about reception... you guys get the idea.

I am in the far minority, where all of my family hasn't dealt with divorce or re-marry, let alone the same person you divorced. We don't have any divorced anyone in the family or in our circle of friends, or in the in laws. The closest is a widower who says, act as if it were the first one.

Anyone have any real world input?

Update:
The final decision is they are having a courthouse wedding with just direct family and a few friends. The reception is going to be the next day at his father's place (back yard). Confirmed no parties or showers this time around, and open invitation for the well wishers, meaning more of a phone tree style invite, where they are calling the people themselves over the next couple of weeks. He didn't mention the gift thing and I didn't really ask.

As a side note, I am really surprised that everyone was so caught up with the gift thing. It never really crossed my mind if it were appropriate to give a second gift for it or not, rather if they should do the whole ceremony process over again, fancy invites cards, honeymoon, etc.
 
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2nd marriage in 4 years with the first lasting 6 mo?

County judge and a handful of rice or whatever they are throwing these days that won't kill the poor birds.
 
There's an island set aside for people who divorce and remarry. Best to keep such madness isolated away from good and decent folks.
 
Tsaico said:
I have a set of friends who were married, big wedding, bachelor/ette parties, the norm. 6 months later, they divorce. They keep seeing each other and 4 years later, they decide to re-marry. What is the normal protocol for this?
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Whack them over the head till' sense comes.
 
You should just tell them the age old saying that everyone will remember when they get the announcements for this wedding.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!" Nobody will give them anything, but they WILL show up for free food/booze.
 
If it were me, I wouldn't even expect gifts... or better yet, make it a REALLY small affair if we had to have one.
 
Based on only a 6 month lapse I will say their relationship probably is solid now.

Regardless, they should do whatever THEY want. There really isn't a protocol.

While many will be all butthurt and bitter if they have ANOTHER big ceremony, many will also revel in it and have a lot of fun.
 
protocol is to throw whatever kind of wedding and/or reception you want that you can afford. it's YOUR party.

the only difference is that the bridge and groom, when asked if they do take each other to be their lawfully wedded spouses, have to respond "i really, really do" or "i totally mean it this time".
 
If they want a big wedding, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and big gifts again, they should first reimburse everyone for the time lost and expense incurred during their first time around.

If they weren't even a bit humbled by their previous fiasco, eff 'em.

A low key, non-church wedding (could be done by an officiant in their backyard or a park) and a relatively informal party/reception for close friends afterwards should suffice.

No damn gifts!
 
Perknose said:
If they want a big wedding, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and big gifts again, they should first reimburse everyone for the time lost and expense incurred during their first time around.
Click to expand...

i disagree. i feel it's up to the invitees to either not attend or not give gifts. they shouldn't expect any recompense.
 
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blackdogdeek said:
protocol is to throw whatever kind of wedding and/or reception you want that you can afford. it's YOUR party.

the only difference is that the bridge and groom, when asked if they do take each other to be their lawfully wedded spouses, have to respond "i really, really do" or "i totally mean it this time".
Click to expand...
Is she really fat or something? :hmm:
 
blackdogdeek said:
Perknose said:
If they want a big wedding, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and big gifts again, they should first reimburse everyone for the time lost and expense incurred during their first time around.
Click to expand...
i disagree. i feel it's up to the invitees to either not attend or not give gifts. they shouldn't expect any recompense.
Click to expand...

The part you quoted was purely for rhetorical purposes. My true advice followed:

Perknose said:
A low key, non-church wedding (could be done by an officiant in their backyard or a park) and a relatively informal party/reception for close friends afterwards should suffice.

No damn gifts!
Click to expand...
 
They can have the big wedding if they're paying for it, I don't see a problem with that. But they should tell everyone they absolutely want no gifts, and do not bring them. That this is just a celebration.

I mean otherwise if you can marry someone, get a ton of gifts, divorce and then re-marry the same person and get a ton more gifts, that sounds like a hell of a way to fill out the house with good shit!

I need to talk to my wife about this idea! :hmm:
 
No showers or gifts.
Bach parties are not ok... because those are for when you are first getting married.
 
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