What is a good time to give birth?

kyrax12

Platinum Member
May 21, 2010
2,416
2
81
My wife and I are eager to bring a child into this world. Right now I am still in school and she is working a full time job.

We are both planning very hard to give birth right now but I am still trying to seek some assurance. She may be able to persuade her parents to look after our newborn incase you guys are wondering about care-taking issues.

How old were you guys when you had your first child?
 

MagnusTheBrewer

IN MEMORIAM
Jun 19, 2004
24,122
1,594
126
While you still think you have the energy. You can plan all you want (and should) but, no one is ever 'ready.'
 

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,447
133
106
Disclaimer: I neither have nor want kids.

1. Have health care or enough money to pay for proper pre-natal and delivery care for both mom and baby. Have some idea of what you would do financially if something went wrong with the pregnancy and medical costs were higher than normal. Be able to start a college fund for your new child with contributions monthly.

2. You have a stable, happy and loving relationship and have had a few years to settle into it and work out the details of your everyday lives.

3. You know and are agreed upon what you would do, long-term, for childcare. Stay at home parent, day care (paid if something happened to prevent your parents from helping) or other.
 

kyrax12

Platinum Member
May 21, 2010
2,416
2
81
Disclaimer: I neither have nor want kids.

1. Have health care or enough money to pay for proper pre-natal and delivery care for both mom and baby. Have some idea of what you would do financially if something went wrong with the pregnancy and medical costs were higher than normal. Be able to start a college fund for your new child with contributions monthly.

2. You have a stable, happy and loving relationship and have had a few years to settle into it and work out the details of your everyday lives.

3. You know and are agreed upon what you would do, long-term, for childcare. Stay at home parent, day care (paid if something happened to prevent your parents from helping) or other.


That is a lot of planning and research. I can see why there are precautions to take when having kids and how a lot of people are neglecting the ideas of having childrens.

One thing I would want to know more about is that you can get cheap health insurance for kids until the "healthy Family" government insurance package?
 

preslove

Lifer
Sep 10, 2003
16,754
64
91
My wife and I are eager to bring a child into this world. Right now I am still in school and she is working a full time job.

We are both planning very hard to give birth right now but I am still trying to seek some assurance. She may be able to persuade her parents to look after our newborn incase you guys are wondering about care-taking issues.

How old were you guys when you had your first child?

Wait till you've graduated and gotten a full time job.
 

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,447
133
106
That is a lot of planning and research. I can see why there are precautions to take when having kids and how a lot of people are neglecting the ideas of having childrens.

One thing I would want to know more about is that you can get cheap health insurance for kids until the "healthy Family" government insurance package?

That is a MINIMUM of planning and research. If that seems like a lot to you then you probably aren't ready for kids.

You can typically get good health insurance through an employer, but self-purchased health insurance can get pricey. If you don't have health coverage, wait to have kids until you do.
 

preslove

Lifer
Sep 10, 2003
16,754
64
91
That is a MINIMUM of planning and research. If that seems like a lot to you then you probably aren't ready for kids.

You can typically get good health insurance through an employer, but self-purchased health insurance can get pricey. If you don't have health coverage, wait to have kids until you do.

Not only is self purchased insurance pricey, but it sucks and is full of loopholes. Have fun at the hospital with a sick kid, only to find out that your insurance doesn't cover the visit/procedure for some bullshit reason.

DON'T have a kid without employer based coverage!
 

paulney

Diamond Member
Sep 24, 2003
6,909
1
0
My wife and I are eager to bring a child into this world. Right now I am still in school and she is working a full time job.

We are both planning very hard to give birth right now but I am still trying to seek some assurance. She may be able to persuade her parents to look after our newborn incase you guys are wondering about care-taking issues.

How old were you guys when you had your first child?

To answer your question, we had the first kid at 26 (both my wife and I), and last weekend had the second one (31 now).

Best time? Before 30, and when you are ready both emotionally and financially. Having insurance is of utmost importance. Having a separate bedroom with every single gadget and accessory from BabiesRUs - not so much.

You will want some things new, you can use others as hand-me-downs, and save a ton of money. You will need lots of patience, and most likely take some time off work or study. Will you be able to live on savings while your wife is on maternity leave? Raising a kid is a full-time job in itself.
 

djheater

Lifer
Mar 19, 2001
14,637
2
0
My wife and I had our first child through a home birth organization. We paid $750 for a hospital birth because the baby was a week early.

Ours is not a typical experience and your mileage may vary. In my, very biased, opinion, planning amounts to little.

Six months into parenthood you will realize you were profoundly unprepared (no matter what your precautions). At that point you will hold on to your ass and hope for the best, just like the rest of us.

Good luck to you pard. No advice will help you through this as no one knows your history, which parenthood is dependent on. In all likelihood you'll do fine, like most parents. Just try your best, that's all any of us can do.
 

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
66,271
14,693
146
You're likely to get a wide variety of answers such as:

Wait until you're financially secure enough to have a child

Wait until you've graduated and have a secure job with health insurance

Wait for this, wait for that....

There is NO "GOOD" or "BEST" time to have a child. If you wait for the "right" time, you'll be 75 years old and still childless...

Yes, there are some things that SHOULD be in place, such as a good job with insurance for at least one of you, but life happens...and remember...babies and children put a big crimp in lifestyles...be ready for the change and mature enough to handle it when it happens.
 

dfuze

Lifer
Feb 15, 2006
11,953
0
71
If you are planning it you'll know when the time is right. To be honest, if you have to ask, I would say you need more time, especially if you are still in school. Trying to study w/ a newborn around is not the easiest thing in the world. I would say to wait until you are done with school at the earliest.
 

Zebo

Elite Member
Jul 29, 2001
39,398
19
81
Early IMO. You man up real quick if you have any substance seeing those eyes every day.

I was pretty shiftless prior, in college and am again cause I can afford to be. but there was about 12 years of 12 hour days.
 

bignateyk

Lifer
Apr 22, 2002
11,288
7
0
My wife and I are going to take a few more nice vacations before we have kids. She is 30 and i'm 26. We are thinking in maybe 3 years. We just bought a house last year, so we just finished getting our 3 month emergency fund built back up.

We are going to try to take some nice vacations as a couple (since the next 10 years after you have a kid are pretty much shot for enjoying a vacation). We've got 3 weeks in italy this fall, 2 weeks on a mediterranean cruise with my parents next summer, and then we are going to try to do a napa valley thing the following year.

We also need to have some extra cash saved up so my wife can quit working for the first 1-2 years. Probably an extra 20K would be ideal financially there to maintain our lifestyle while we were bleeding cash without her salary.
 

highland145

Lifer
Oct 12, 2009
43,973
6,338
136
Usually it's a good time once your cervix is dilated to 10 cm.
C-section. Saves all that stretching/tearing.

I was 37,wife 38. No maternity ins.:eek: Normal health ins won't pay. He was 2 weeks early. She had toxemia. Emergency c-section for a total of........

.....$20K out of pocket.:eek::(:eek::( And that was just to get him here.
 

Wyndru

Diamond Member
Apr 9, 2009
7,318
4
76
My wife and I are both early 30's, and had our first 2 weeks ago. We both work full time jobs, but day care is going to milk us dry. It's like $250/wk, which we can easily afford, but it still stings a bit. It's great that you can skip that.

Most of the people I know have their kids around their early 30's, and after college is done, and have a few years into their career.

It's almost like there is another baby boom going on this year, we have like 8 women pregnant in my job, 2 of my wife's friends are expecting, and her job has another 3 or 4 ready to pop. When we were in the hospital delivery room, the nurses were saying that this has been their busiest year in about 10 years.
 

SP33Demon

Lifer
Jun 22, 2001
27,928
143
106
To answer your question, we had the first kid at 26 (both my wife and I), and last weekend had the second one (31 now).

Best time? Before 30, and when you are ready both emotionally and financially. Having insurance is of utmost importance. Having a separate bedroom with every single gadget and accessory from BabiesRUs - not so much.

You will want some things new, you can use others as hand-me-downs, and save a ton of money. You will need lots of patience, and most likely take some time off work or study. Will you be able to live on savings while your wife is on maternity leave? Raising a kid is a full-time job in itself.

Why before 30? You mention ready both emotionally and financially and more often than not people under 30 are not emotionally and/or financially mature enough.
 

SP33Demon

Lifer
Jun 22, 2001
27,928
143
106
My wife and I are both early 30's, and had our first 2 weeks ago. We both work full time jobs, but day care is going to milk us dry. It's like $250/wk, which we can easily afford, but it still stings a bit. It's great that you can skip that.

Most of the people I know have their kids around their early 30's, and after college is done, and have a few years into their career.

It's almost like there is another baby boom going on this year, we have like 8 women pregnant in my job, 2 of my wife's friends are expecting, and her job has another 3 or 4 ready to pop. When we were in the hospital delivery room, the nurses were saying that this has been their busiest year in about 10 years.

In a recession, more babies are born. Strange but true because more people are having sex.