Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Not to scare you, but...
My brother had similar problems with his hands. Eventually he started having seizures, so he had a CAT scan performed. They found a growth in his brain the size of an orange. He died shortly after the surgery to remove it.
Get to the doctor ASAP.
Not really scared and kinda had this mulling over in the back of my head anyway having lost 6 people on my families side to lung and brain cancer. I feel I have myself pretty mentally prepaired to hear this on the 4th or shortly after and honestly Im kinda ready. My life has turned to utter shite after my accident. Yes I will miss my family dearly and more then anyone can fathom in thier life for having a wife of 7 year put up with what we have an me for 5 of them. I coomend her and love her to death for any of my other girlfriends I would of had would of left me worthless ass in a minute. Hell we been through having money and living in a 6 bedroom 2 story home and got laid off to a 2 bedroom trailer because of a lay off. Taking shite jobs to try to pull our asses out of the hole. Seeing the light on 2 jobs to get laid off from them to go back into the hole because i had to take shite non paying jobs to get by. To get another good paying job to screwing up my back for life on because it paid good but demanded alot of me physically and my back finnaly couldnt take what I had done to it for the last 10 years.
Then going on welfair and having anandatech bail us our from being homeless wiht thier kindness and generosity, which BTW we will NEVER FORGET (I may of forgotten who some of you are because of my condition but will never foret having 3 people show up to our door with food and money tocover some bills for the month that had been collected).
And through all of this having money, being poor, me bing the way I am, she has stuck with my though out it all. So for that when my time comes or I am told it is near, willl hit me like a ton of bricks harder then it is not me typing about it. But in the long run I am mentally prepaired, and know in the long run, it really is best for them that i left when I do which is early so they are dragged through the mud with me and can not have to worry about me and get on with their lives.
Now I know some of you can sit there and go how can he sat this. Well I can because I lived it not saying jsut with me but with my parents when they died. Yes I miss the piss out of them but like I came to realise and my family will come to realize when the time is near or your so physicaly messed up you life moves on and sometimes for the best when they finnaly pass.
So again nope. Not scared, in a way kinda hoping for it so my wife will get the aide she can get without me around because she would quilify for more when I am out of the picture being a widow with kids. Sad to say that to but thats how the government programs work while I m still here. She would get more money, and my kids would get the schooling they wouldnt get because Im alive. Which again is another reason I welcome death because I can actually do more for them being dead then If I stuck it out around here. Which if some of you could see how I, and my family, go day by day, and understand how governement run programs work, could see where I can say this.
Becausse hell, my wife doesnt know this, but not only do I have the other crap, but I have chest pain, and arm pain allong with the other cap I am hiding from her and my doctor she cant see. Hinda hard to hid my head pain for it makes me hunch to one side with my head and ands shaking but the other pain I feel all day I can mask with it. And if my doctor cared enough would catch it also for I have told him but really didnt give a crap. and even if he did Id prolly be hooked up to some damn machines anyway prolonging my sh1tty exhistance and prolng the madness even longer
So bring it on I say but my luck has always my whole live been crappy and i seem to have always gotten the short end of my stick my entire life. Always getting some good and seeing a way out, then having it ripped from my hands putting me back in a hole climbing and trying my best to get out of just to have it happen alll over again. So my luck they will be able to cure me jsut enough to have a little good time to have it taken away and really go through some pain or put my faimly through more because I have to drink through a straw and have someone wipe my ass.
Wow I guess thanks are in order for allowing me to vent a bit and get a little off my chest and about me out there and what we go through to open some eyes hopefully on welfair and how its not always a lazy ass scum of the earth on it. Or because they see some fat butt in a wheel chair at walmart is just that when they jsut look at them. Or how a family that has had some of the worst luck thrown upon them really needed that helping hand and can still use one to get them out of that hole because welfaire isnt the answer. It patches the hole and keeps that family in the wellfair where if it wasnt for an outside source, or death, can never get out of.
So people really need to understand that I guess, or like me, took going through it first hand to see the big picture.
And I pitty the people that took the time out to understand that mess of mine. For I am sorry for my crappy grammar but I had to vent a bit I suppose for I took this reply to heart and had to say where I am coming from.
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