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what if my colleague says F*** word...

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The F word isn't exactly work appropriate, but the first time you hear a president, vp, or director use it in casual conversation, you realize that you still have some learning to do.

Although, someone who uses swears directed AT employees usually gets a bad name very, very quickly.
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: withsmile
Occasionally (recently more often, 3 times a day), when he got pissed off, sometimes a little loud, most of the time murmuring to himself. I'm a girl just out of school, 30ish people corporate subsidiary environment, all male, but nobody is like him. We have good personal relationship, but when he says F-word, I still feel embarrassed, is that me or him? What do I do?
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That happens occasionally.. actually a little more than occasionally at my job and it's glaringly inappropriate in a professional envirnoment. You have a manager? he/she needs to manage this.
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haha, at my job, everybody swears like a motherfvcker. hahaha, including the female managing director and vice president. the f-bomb here gets dropped probably on avg once every minute.
 
Originally posted by: 3cho
haha, at my job, everybody swears like a motherfvcker. hahaha, including the female managing director and vice president. the f-bomb here gets dropped probably on avg once every minute.
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Remember, it's the person being offended that has the problem and needs to change, not the person doing the offending.
 
I'm coming quickly to the realisation that 90% of threads in ATOT can be answered with "Talk to them face to face, and try and not be such a prude about it"...
 
Originally posted by: Roguestar
I'm coming quickly to the realisation that 90% of problems in life can be answered with "Talk to them face to face, and try and not be such a prude about it"...
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oh hi, i upgraded your analogy

- M4H
 
Originally posted by: SmoochyTX
Grow up.

ETA - If he wasn't saying it to you or about you, then get over it. Now on the other hand if he was cursing you out using foul language then report it.

Grown-up people cuss. As you said, you're fresh out of school and are getting used to this working environment. You can't honestly expect everybody to walk on eggshells around you just because you're some young female right? Oh wait. :roll:

It's things like this that make me ashamed to be a female at times.
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Agreed!@
 
Originally posted by: withsmile
I'm sure it's not sexually related, just a way to show he's pissed off.

but I'm seriously not used to that word...
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WTF? 🙂

You must have been home schooled and attended college at some midwestern Christian school if you're not used hearing f-bombs all the time. That's all I heard throughout high school, college, and on the job for years now. Good or bad, it's the norm in most places.

By the way, Geekbabe is giving you HORRIBLE advice. If you complain to HR and they make a big stink about this, I'm sure that it won't take long for your co-workers to trace the complaint back to you. There's nothing like turning yourself into the office pariah just a few weeks after getting hired to make your life miserable.

As long as your co-workers aren't being abusive to you, I'd recommend keeping your mouth shut. If you want to help him, try praying for him in church or something. You Christian conservative folks seem to like doing that 🙂
 
Originally posted by: withsmile
Occasionally (recently more often, 3 times a day), when he got pissed off, sometimes a little loud, most of the time murmuring to himself. I'm a girl just out of school, 30ish people corporate subsidiary environment, all male, but nobody is like him. We have good personal relationship, but when he says F-word, I still feel embarrassed, is that me or him? What do I do?
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It's unprofessional on his part to say it outloud. Jsut ask him as nice as you can to choose a different word. He's may be unaware it's loud enough for you to hear.

I was in his shoes, so to speak, and when told same by a female co-worker did not take it badly. Umm, but might be a good idea to mention to him when he's not angry/stressed. He may be a little high-strung.

Fern
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
It's been my experience in companies where workers are using openly profane language that other professional behaviors are also slipping, sloppy dress,eating and drinking in inappropriate areas,discourtesy to other departments,poor telephone manners etc. When professionalism is allowed to slip too far below certain levels burnout and poor morale are sure to follow.
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Respectfully, there are degrees of appropriateness that we cannot know without knowing the OP's place of work and department.

For example, I work in HR, as a business analyst helping ensure that when HR needs a new system there is a semi-technical person within HR (not in IT) who can help ensure that the system will do what HR needs and will also not cause problems for other systems in use in the company. My department, which has several other analysts like me, is a kind of translator from HR to IT and vice versa. Anyway, we can come in wearing jeans, we keep food at our desks, we laugh a lot about technologically illiterate end users, etc. However, we have some of the best morale in the company, and, at least for me, I know that the departments I work with love me.

Arbitrarily mandating certain standards of attire and decorum regardless of group dynamic does far more to cause burnout and destroy morale. Teams need to be integrated well enough that, if one member offends another member, then the offended party can, respectfully, point it out and the other person can apologise and work to avoid such things in the future.

For the OP, I would suggest talking with this guy and approaching it something like this,

"Hi X, I really enjoy working on this team, but it really bothers me when you say f***. I know that you're not doing this to annoy anyone and I don't mean to imply that you have been anything other than a good co-worker, it's just that for some reason I've never liked that word. I realise that it probably doesn't mean anything bad to you and I know you're not saying it with any intent to offend, that's why I feel comfortable with our ability to work this out on our own. I can't make you stop saying the word, but it would really mean a lot to me if you would try."

Approach it as though you're asking him for a favor. I know that it's not technically a favor, but by approaching it that way, you increase the chances of him agreeing with you. It's kind of the whole Dale Carnegie thing.

ZV
 
As a manager if i heard someone dropping the F bomb in front of a client they would be written up and fired if i could. There is NO reason to use such language in front of a client. NONE.

Also if the person as doing it a LOT i would talk to them. Some people do not like swearing and you have to consideriate of them. save that crap for the bar not at work. IF anyone complained darn right they would get written up.

But it really depends on where and with who you are working.
 
When I worked for Kodak, that would be considered unprofessional and those of us who did use words like that did it quietly and only among certain people.

At the small software company I work for now, my manager's favorite word is cluster-f*. And our president routinely uses the f word multiple times in a single sentence. Unprofessional? I guess if they talked like that in front of clients. But we are a rapidly growing company that is quite literally destroying our competition for 2 main reasons. First, we have a far superior set of products and second, we routinely get rave reviews for our oustanding customer service and professionalism.

So yeah, every "professional" environment is different. And personally, I'd much rather work in an environment where you can say f* when you are annoyed than a big "professional" environment where using a particular word can get you in trouble.
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
it's not your job to tell this guy anything,you are his work peer,not his boss,he might stammer out an apology in front of your face but he'll resent you for it...
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I can GUARANTEE that he will resent her more if she tattles to the boss behind his back. I can also guarantee that a generic letter will do nothing. If the boss cares enough for results, he or she will pull the guy aside personally, at which point the guy will know that someone has complained about him and it'll take him about 3 seconds to realise that it's probably "that new girl".

Most of the time, my group is pretty free with our language, however, there are several people who we completely avoid swearing around. Why? Because they asked us nicely. They didn't go and tattle to the boss, they didn't file a complaint, they simply acted like adults and politely asked if we could watch ourselves more closely around them.

The last thing the OP wants to do is develop a reputation as a snitch, and that's precisely what going to her boss will give her.

ZV
 
Originally posted by: DT4K
At the small software company I work for now, my manager's favorite word is cluster-f*.
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Exec: What's this shape *points to random polygon on a flowchart diagram* mean?
M4H: Visio didn't have a predefined shape for a "clusterf*ck." I had to improvise.
Exec: :laugh: Gotcha.

- M4H
 
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: Roguestar
I'm coming quickly to the realisation that 90% of problems in life can be answered with "Talk to them face to face, and try and not be such a prude about it"...
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oh hi, i upgraded your analogy

- M4H
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:beer: Well said.
 
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: DT4K
At the small software company I work for now, my manager's favorite word is cluster-f*.
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Exec: What's this shape *points to random polygon on a flowchart diagram* mean?
M4H: Visio didn't have a predefined shape for a "clusterf*ck." I had to improvise.
Exec: :laugh: Gotcha.

- M4H
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Reminds me of one of my daily status reports.

"Today's experience with the vendor's development team can only properly be defined with a term that begins with 'cluster'."

Manager thought it was hilarious.

ZV
 
Hmm. I regularly belt out a few F-bombs when things go wrong. Or just when I feel like it.


Then again, I work from home. 😀
 
What I find funny is that people have this prudish sense of properness when they are on the outside of business, yet on the inside it is completely different. I have heard tons of C-level execs swear up a storm when they are just shooting it. I hear it all of the time at work. I guess the capital markets area is much more loose, not to mention I have a Brit exec who loves to drop f-bombs.

If you really want to hear vulgarity, go to a bond or equity trading desk or pit. That language will make a sailor blush.
 
Originally posted by: Colt45
Get a helmet. Most people I work with say it 3 times in a row, rather than 3 times in a full day 😛
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LOL. yea, same here and its 3times in a row about 30 times a day. Don't worry if he says "the F word"... its not a big deal unless its aimed at you which it isnt so its fine
 
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Reminds me of one of my daily status reports.

"Today's experience with the vendor's development team can only properly be defined with a term that begins with 'cluster'."

Manager thought it was hilarious.

ZV
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Glad I'm about to check out, I should be able to hold in the laughter until I get to my car :laugh:

Cheers :beer:😀

- M4H
 
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